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My friend works in medical research profession. Lately she has been pressured by one of her female coworkers who has a crush on my friend's boss. Her coworker wants my friend to talk to her boss and tell him that this girl is interested in him. The problem is that my friend has no interest in being the match maker and doesn't want to be part of this. She recently got hired and her boss is really nice to her and everyone. Plus my friend is married and extremely professional. Personally doesn't believe in workplace dating as such. Also she is fairly new and doesn't want to talk to her manager about this coworker who she knows from last 6-7 months only (just because they sit in same office)
What can she do to keep herself out of this situation. She doesn't want to approach her boss. Maybe he even has a gf. Last time this girl baked some cookies and my friend tried offering it to her boss but he wasn't interested. My friend has informed the coworker multiple times that this probably isn't a good idea. What to do in such dilemma.
Yesterday her coworker bought suite tickets for the opening season basketball game and wants my friend to ask her boss to go with her. Now my friend is asking me for advice. She doesn't want to get fired or be part of this. She told her coworker no multiple times but it seems coworker is really adamant. The coworker and my friend are in different department and they don't have same boss. Just because they sit together they are fairly close with each other but just as coworkers. This is a hospital environment and we are talking about research scientists and doctors in this situation.
What to do. It is very important that my friend doesn't loose her job because she is new grad and cannot afford to loose her job. How to go about this situation without hurting her coworker or keeping it professional infront of her boss.
What is this, high school? Your friend needs to tell her coworker that if she isn't mature enough to ask the doctor out on her own, then that's her problem. She needs to be upfront about it or this coworker won't get the hint.
Your friend said no. If this coworker keeps pressing, then it becomes a matter of workplace harassment and your friend should be talking to Human Resources.
The coworker is a research Dr. from China. The boss is asian too but he was born and raised in US. Apparently this is something about asian culture where the girl doesn't approach the guy. I don't know, maybe we get some asian perspective here as well..
Thanks everyone.
Yes, but she's in America now - in America women don't have to wait for men to ask them out.
If she's holding fast to Chinese protocol, what is the protocol in China for a subordinate person dating someone in a superior position in the same company?
This is your friends issue. It seems like a pretty easy thing to say no to. And can be done in a nice way with no hurt feelings. I'm not sure why this is any sort of a problem.
If she's holding fast to Chinese protocol, what is the protocol in China for a subordinate person dating someone in a superior position in the same company?
technically its not her boss. They both are somewhat similar position. She is research and he is faculty but yea I get your point.
No has been said multiple times in the past. Since there is no way to completely shun or ignore this coworker and they are sharing same office I believe you just can't tell someone "No" and put them on ignore mode if you have to deal with them everyday. Diplomatically she has been told numerous times that this is not going to happen. But this coworker keeps coming back every 2-3 weeks about the same idea of how bad she wants to ask this guy out.
My friend doesn't want to create any drama at work. Basically she doesn't want to go to HR because she is new and this person is not necessarily a bad person. Also, this Dr. is from China and my friend doesn't want to put her in a position where she is kicked out of the country and her career is in jeopardy.
My friend works in medical research profession. Lately she has been pressured by one of her female coworkers who has a crush on my friend's boss. Her coworker wants my friend to talk to her boss and tell him that this girl is interested in him. The problem is that my friend has no interest in being the match maker and doesn't want to be part of this.
That's pretty much all that needs to be said. If the coworker doesn't listen, oh well. If your friend is incapable of dealing with someone who's obnoxiously persistent and keeps asking anyway, oh well. The coworker needs to vag up and take matters into her own hands and your friend needs to build a better wall. Drama is only drama when you dramatize. Everyone has an endless supply of the word "no". Nothing is preventing your friend from continuing to use it, even if she's annoyed that she has to.
My friend works in medical research profession. Lately she has been pressured by one of her female coworkers who has a crush on my friend's boss. Her coworker wants my friend to talk to her boss and tell him that this girl is interested in him. The problem is that my friend has no interest in being the match maker and doesn't want to be part of this. She recently got hired and her boss is really nice to her and everyone. Plus my friend is married and extremely professional. Personally doesn't believe in workplace dating as such. Also she is fairly new and doesn't want to talk to her manager about this coworker who she knows from last 6-7 months only (just because they sit in same office)
What can she do to keep herself out of this situation. She doesn't want to approach her boss. Maybe he even has a gf. Last time this girl baked some cookies and my friend tried offering it to her boss but he wasn't interested. My friend has informed the coworker multiple times that this probably isn't a good idea. What to do in such dilemma.
Yesterday her coworker bought suite tickets for the opening season basketball game and wants my friend to ask her boss to go with her. Now my friend is asking me for advice. She doesn't want to get fired or be part of this. She told her coworker no multiple times but it seems coworker is really adamant. The coworker and my friend are in different department and they don't have same boss. Just because they sit together they are fairly close with each other but just as coworkers. This is a hospital environment and we are talking about research scientists and doctors in this situation.
What to do. It is very important that my friend doesn't loose her job because she is new grad and cannot afford to loose her job. How to go about this situation without hurting her coworker or keeping it professional infront of her boss.
Well this certainly isn't anything to go to HR about...that would be weird.
Some people are just dense and can't help themselves. There are many things at work that people have to deal with that is irritating...sounds like this is one of those things eh? If i were your friend, I would just accept that every couple of weeks my coworker/roomate is going to mention this - respond in the same or similar way as in the past and move along (until the coworker brings it up again in a couple of weeks). I would also advise your friend to not entertain it in any way - no advice on how to ask him out, or what to do to get him to think that she's interested, etc. Nothing, no engagement.
I'm at a very large Academic Medical Center too. The researchers are a different breed of people - nobody understands them but themselves. Most of them anyway. Awkward little geeks.
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