Supervisor(s) talk about coworkers who aren't in meeting (credit, job, company)

[carribeanblue]

We have regular department meetings. Both my immediate supervisor and our overall department supervisor like to tell "funny" stories about others who aren't there, especially, apparently, to entertain newbies. The stories may be about department members who have retired but who are still invited to outside office events, members who are now in another department, others in the company, or sometimes current members who just aren't there. The stories or comments ARE "funny" but if I were that person I wouldn't want them told. (E.g. farting, being gullible when told something that is not true, etc.) I consider these stories mean. I deal with it now by:
- staying silent
- leaving (if the meeting is pretty much over anyway)
- saying something positive about the person and saying I liked them
- bringing up a totally different topic

Sometimes #3 or #4 of the above ends the "funny" stories, sometimes not. I am debating whether to approach either/both supervisors and saying simply that I think it reflects poorly on us to tell any stories about those not present that we wouldn't tell if they were there.

Both supervisors can be people-sensitive--at times... and sometimes they don't seem to get it.

What do you all think? Should I stick my neck out? Or am I trying to change people who are what they are?

[BigDGeek]

I wouldn't say anything, personally. I'd just ignore the gossip and not participate.

[MPowering1]

With immature people like this you risk becoming a target yourself. Just do what you're doing and don't say anything if you like your job overall.

[RVD90277]

if the humor is good natured, then i think this just keeps a nice culture and environment.

if the stories are mean spirited, etc. then yeah it's a problem that needs to be addressed.

this sound like it's just funny stuff that's good natured so i would be ok with it and not be too sensitive about it. men especially like to goof on each other, etc.

[G-fused]

Originally Posted by bigdgeek

i wouldn't say anything, personally. I'd just ignore the gossip and not participate.

+1

[rdflk]

^^ follow that advice.

It amazes me that so many people post on these boards about trying to change their manager/boss/supervisors' behavior -- about things that have nothing to do with the person directly.

If your boss talks about others like that. S/he is showing you the kind of person s/he is. Take it for that. Take mental note of that. And stay out of it. They've shown you who you're dealing with. And it's something you should be glad you now know. For future reference you now know the kind of person this boss/manager/supervisor is.
-- Don't be surprised if they blame others for their mistakes. (including you)
-- Don't be surprised if they take credit for someone else's good work.
-- Don't be surprised if they're dishonest.
You know the kind of person you're working for -- so be glad you know this.

[veuvegirl]

Amazing high school still exists in the workplace. Definitely just ignore it.

[convextech]

Originally Posted by carribeanblue

We have regular department meetings. Both my immediate supervisor and our overall department supervisor like to tell "funny" stories about others who aren't there, especially, apparently, to entertain newbies. The stories may be about department members who have retired but who are still invited to outside office events, members who are now in another department, others in the company, or sometimes current members who just aren't there. The stories or comments ARE "funny" but if I were that person I wouldn't want them told. (E.g. farting, being gullible when told something that is not true, etc.) I consider these stories mean. I deal with it now by:
- staying silent
- leaving (if the meeting is pretty much over anyway)
- saying something positive about the person and saying I liked them
- bringing up a totally different topic

Sometimes #3 or #4 of the above ends the "funny" stories, sometimes not. I am debating whether to approach either/both supervisors and saying simply that I think it reflects poorly on us to tell any stories about those not present that we wouldn't tell if they were there.

Both supervisors can be people-sensitive--at times... and sometimes they don't seem to get it.

What do you all think? Should I stick my neck out? Or am I trying to change people who are what they are?

I would out them as they are doing it in the meeting. I would say, "Must we make fun of people who aren't here to defend themselves?"

[rdflk]

^^ And embarras your boss and the boss above him.

So let see. You would have embarrassed YOUR immediate boss -- AND the person over his/her head who would be the one you'd go to IF you ever needed to appeal to them about something your boss was doing.

So you could alienate them both and have NO allies in that immediate management chain two levels UP from YOU. (over something that had nothing to do with you in the first place)
Yeah right. NOT smart.

[mllex]

Office gossip is inevitable, but coming from supervisors? That sounds totally unprofessional, especially if told for entertainment value. If anything, I'd think about changing my job/position so I wouldn't have to work for those supervisors.