Quote:
Originally Posted by eyeb
next time just give them a roll of toilet paper with the use this note... let them wonder if it is for allergies or something else
again, I'm not sure you understand passive-aggressiveness... it would be pa if they just tossed the things in the sink away... asking the coworkers who used the utensils to clean up after themselves is common courtesy and professionalism... just like you don't walk around the office in your underwear, you don't treat the break room like your own kitchen.
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Actually, you don't understand passive-aggressive either.
Aggressive behavior is acting on your feelings through an action that expresses your feelings outright. In your example, throwing away the utensils in the sink is aggressive behavior. You are correct in that asking coworkers to clean up is not passive-aggressive. But there are passive aggressives out there who will use PASSIVE techniques to act out their AGGRESSIVE thoughts without direct aggression.
Example: Bob sees Mike heating up a bowl of soup in the break area, watches him place the used bowl, lid and spoon in the communal sink and walk back to his desk. Bob is infuriated by the complete lack of courtesy and laziness of Mike.
A P-A behavior:
Bob knows it is Mike, but walks over to Mike's cubicle and says "Someone complained to Susan (office manager) that the break area is a biohazard. I ran in there and wiped off the counter, but someone left dishes in the sink. If you know who left dishes, pass it on that she walking through there before the end of the day."
You see, in the mind of the PA, he is doing something that conveys a message without unveiling himself as the aggressor or creating conflict with the offender (it is all the P-A needs to reward themselves--the feeling that they are getting an effect)...sounds polite, sounds like a day at the office. It is hard for some people to understand P-A, so many just label any grumpy, aggressive or sarcastic person as such. Those types can be P-A, but rarely exhibit the subtle nuances that PA's thrive on.