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Well, that makes things kinda awkward to know. I could list hundreds of things that people do that get on my nerves but that I choose to ignore because I don't want to make them feel awkward.
Some things, once you notice them, you can't ignore. I haven't had this at work, but I've experienced it countless times in a plane or other public place where people are trapped together, and one kid keeps sniffing and sniffing...and I try to put it out of my mind and pretend I can't hear it but it's impossible...I want to scream at the mom PLEASE blow your kids nose!!
I have bad allergies this time of year and they cause me to sneeze and have a slight runny nose. I take medicine and try to sniffle as quietly as possible if I have to.
Anyways, my nearest coworker, who I rarely interact with, handed me a Kleenex box with a Post-It note on it that said "USE THIS". I said, "Thanks," but I couldn't figure out whether her giving me the box of Kleenex with a note was supposed to be a nice and helpful gesture or a passive-aggressive way of saying that she was annoyed by me. Either way, it made me feel awkward.
Not helpful. Passive aggressive and snarky. She wanted to to feel uncomfortable and awkward - and she succeeded.
I have sympathy for you. I am going through the same allergies.
To clarify, I'm not so much irked by the fact that my coworker was annoyed, but rather at the way she handled it. 2 jobs ago a coworker kindly asked me to stop tapping my fingers on the table (I didn't realize I was doing it) and I didn't feel irked at all.
So that others may benefit, in your opinion what would have been a kinder way for your coworker to deliver her message? Suggested dialogue would be most helpful.
It's a little different than mindless finger tapping. "Would you please stop sniffling?" suggests you have control over your allergies and are simply not aware you have them; as a fellow sufferer, I know this is not the case.
People sometimes let their dishes or tuperware soak in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher. Well, one time I saw a note over the sink that said, "If you could stop leaving your dishes in the sink, that would be great," as a meme (see: https://memeexplorer.com/cache/853.jpg
). For the record, I've never left anything in the sink.
In this situation too, it's hard to tell whether the gesture is snarky. Since it was made as a meme, it could be taken as a lighthearted way of bringing up a concern. Then again, taken literally, it's tacky and sarcastic, not professional.
Just my opinion and I'm curious about whether this passive-aggressiveness is common in offices.
Just my opinion and I'm curious about whether this passive-aggressiveness is common in offices.
Um, yeah.
I'm hoping your snarky cow-orker comes down with a nice juicy case of hay fever. I didn't have it until five years ago but fortunately I work at home, alone. I do sinus rinses with the neti pot, take Allegra D, Flonase, Symbicort and allergy shots but some days nothing helps.
I'd be tempted to thank your cow-orker for the box of tissues and mention that while we're laying our cards on the table, it sure would be great if she didn't use the word "like" every five seconds, because, like, it's really like bothering us, like, you know? Or whatever annoying thing it is she does, especially if she's one of those my-poo-smells-like-roses types.
Wow. We recently moved and I have an office with a door now, but the young woman who sat next to me in my old open space recently remarked how much she missed hearing me yell at my computer, particularly my frequent use of a three-syllable word with three Cs in it. She said it made her giggle. Glad I don't have bad allergies.
I'm hoping your snarky cow-orker comes down with a nice juicy case of hay fever. I didn't have it until five years ago but fortunately I work at home, alone. I do sinus rinses with the neti pot, take Allegra D, Flonase, Symbicort and allergy shots but some days nothing helps.
I'd be tempted to thank your cow-orker for the box of tissues and mention that while we're laying our cards on the table, it sure would be great if she didn't use the word "like" every five seconds, because, like, it's really like bothering us, like, you know? Or whatever annoying thing it is she does, especially if she's one of those my-poo-smells-like-roses types.
Haha !
As someone who has allergies too, I would say the constant cleaners and sprayers (both bathroom and bug) are bad for my allergies.
The kitchen bench has way too much product applied to it multiple times a day by the obsessive cleaners ('your mother doesn't work here' note writers) and the bathroom sprayers fearful of number one smells.
Then there are the coworkers who will break out the Raid the moment they see a little midge or spider which will give me and others a headache with sinus congestion.
Honestly I wish I could say that ! My coworker who begins every conversation with ' FYI' or the gum chewer, or the coworker who always states 'that looks healthy' every time you bring a salad for lunch, the constant school fund raisers etc etc
next time just give them a roll of toilet paper with the use this note... let them wonder if it is for allergies or something else
Quote:
Just my opinion and I'm curious about whether this passive-aggressiveness is common in offices.
again, I'm not sure you understand passive-aggressiveness... it would be pa if they just tossed the things in the sink away... asking the coworkers who used the utensils to clean up after themselves is common courtesy and professionalism... just like you don't walk around the office in your underwear, you don't treat the break room like your own kitchen.
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