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So I'm hired by what appears to be a dream company. They like my work. I tend to talk to folks in offices to relationship build so I can easily get what I need from them for the documents I create.
So imagine my surprise only two months in that I'm called to a meeting with my supervisor and HR. (You experienced folks know that when HR is in the meeting, nothing good can come of it.)
And nothing good came out of this meeting, during which I was informed I was accused by some individual or individuals of sexual harassment and that I was being dismissed from the company. I was told they did an investigation and there were "inappropriate comments made" presumably by me. That's all nice, except no one bothered to bring such a serious allegation to MY attention.
I asked HR if I could get an opportunity to defend myself or tell my side. No and no. Why? I was within my 90-day probation, so they didn't involve me. I was told that had I been there longer than 90 days, I would have been told.
By now, my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and the soles of my feet were itching. I tell HR I had no idea what I said or did, to whom, when, where or how. Did I look at someone too long? Did I make an offhand comment I thought was harmless? Or did someone overhear me say something and go to HR? I'll never know.
Naturally I do quick research on sexual harassment in the workplace and I'm shocked by the lack of parameters. My awareness of sexual harassment is of the classic "quid pro quo," e.g., "Have sex with me or lose your job."
However, I also learned that anyone can accuse you of harassment if they feel the least bit "uncomfortable" with you or your actions. I also spoke to a lawyer, who told me I have no legal leg to stand on. At-will employment means a employer can boot your ass for any reason they damn well feel like. If that were the case, then they could have dismissed me with little to no comment. I would still have been puzzled and disappointed, but I feel like I would have been better off not knowing some human snake smiled in my face and stabbed me in the back.
I'm a married man with three children who's been in the workforce for 34 years. I'm 57. I've dealt with my share of workplace **** but this sexual harassment accusation tops the cake.
I post this as a cautionary tale. I am chatty, bordering on flirty with women who I get to know and think I can read real well. That ends here for me. Watch who you talk to or what you say in an office setting. And by all means, don't look at someone of the opposite sex for more than a split second.
I've posted about this problem many times in the past. Unfortunately, everybody, especially the men, seem to defend the current laws. Very sorry to hear that this happened to you.
I've posted about this problem many times in the past. Unfortunately, everybody, especially the men, seem to defend the current laws. Very sorry to hear that this happened to you.
Thanks much. Can you point me to a past thread on the topic? I get that no one should be harassed. But based on the law, half the stuff I've seen done and said in various offices should be enough to have a whole bunch of people fired!!
I'm a married man with three children who's been in the workforce for 34 years. I'm 57. I've dealt with my share of workplace **** but this sexual harassment accusation tops the cake.
I post this as a cautionary tale. I am chatty, bordering on flirty with women who I get to know and think I can read real well. That ends here for me. Watch who you talk to or what you say in an office setting. And by all means, don't look at someone of the opposite sex for more than a split second.
Married man with three children who's borderline flirty with the women he works with.
I can't imagine what bad could come out of that...
Maybe if you didn't come across so slimy and promiscuous in this post, I would be more willing to accept that you were possibly innocent and mistreated. But when you're doing these things in spite of your family, it's very difficult to empathize with your situation.
Thanks much. Can you point me to a past thread on the topic? I get that no one should be harassed. But based on the law, half the stuff I've seen done and said in various offices should be enough to have a whole bunch of people fired!!
I'll do a search later. For now, try doing a search on my username as the poster and "harassment" as a keyword, and you'll find a few threads. Hope that helps.
Married man with three children who's borderline flirty with the women he works with.
. . . But when you're doing these things in spite of your family, it's very difficult to empathize with your situation.
this.
sorry man, you probably didnt mean anything by it but you were obviously becoming annoying and too forward in your 'relationship building' (im basing that on you own comments about being 'flirty')
Ive been in management for over a decade and understand how easy it is to be accused of discrimination or harassment which is why I rarely, if ever, have closed door meeting and always have witnesses if I am delivering performance improvement plans or any other "negative" news.
Married man with three children who's borderline flirty with the women he works with.
I can't imagine what bad could come out of that...
Maybe if you didn't come across so slimy and promiscuous in this post, I would be more willing to accept that you were possibly innocent and mistreated.
Doesn't take long for trolls to rear their heads does it?
What slime and promiscuity? I never asked anyone out. I made no advances. Nothing bad came out my personality for 34 years until last month.
And you're missing the point completely. If I did something wrong, I deserve to know what the heck I did so it won't happen again.
I post this as a cautionary tale. I am chatty, bordering on flirty with women who I get to know and think I can read real well. That ends here for me. Watch who you talk to or what you say in an office setting. And by all means, don't look at someone of the opposite sex for more than a split second.
I began working during an era when sexual harassment was simply not discussed in any shape, fashion or form. I was 19 when I was a victim, too scared to report the lowlife who could not keep his hands off me. One day the problem took care of itself when the guy was caught red-handed by his supervisor as I attempted to fight him off in the hallway of the hospital where we were working--and it was not pretty. He was physically removed from the premises, along with some colorful words. I never saw him again.
Doesn't take long for trolls to rear their heads does it?
What slime and promiscuity? I never asked anyone out. I made no advances. Nothing bad came out my personality for 34 years until last month.
And you're missing the point completely. If I did something wrong, I deserve to know what the heck I did so it won't happen again.
Not trolling, just pointed out exactly what you said and explained that I find it difficult to empathize with the situation given that information.
For starters, don't flirt with the women you work with. Not only because it can lead to misinterpreted sexual advances, but also because YOU HAVE THREE KIDS AND A WIFE.
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