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I can see that I'm going to have more to complain about in this, my last year of employment before retiring, than in all the other over twenty combined, but that's the changing culture of today's workplace, I suppose.
Is enforced "schmoozing" now a thing? With my former boss of many years (decades), we were ignored... Treated as responsible professionals and left to do our jobs in peace. With that boss's departure, we got a replacement who very much encouraged potlucks (mostly a small-town female workforce here), which many of the employees embraced with glee. I'm an introvert who doesn't cook, so I was happy to sit those out.
Enter the third boss who wants not only weekly group meetings to "touch base," but also gatherings for comings, goings, congratulations, and how-do-you-dos and is willing to provide food out of his own pocket. When I quietly stayed behind in my office for the first (not an official meeting, but a goodbye meal; I'd already said my personal goodbyes to this employee), I was actually tracked down and "urged" to attend...
Is this not somewhat discriminatory against those with a more shy, retiring nature who don't "do" crowds?
I've managed to perform my duties quite competently all these years without forced meals around a table.
I can already see "not a team player" being etched in my permanent personnel record, threatening future part-time employment. The new boss is under 40, and retirement is looking more appealing all the time...
Sometimes, it's easier to go along to get along. I hated events like that with a passion when I worked in an office but I always tried to attend even if just for a few minutes to show my face.
Thank goodness I work at home now. No one bothers me except a 21-month old Vizsla!
I have disliked potlucks as for some reason people shun the food some people bring and thus, they don't bring any and then get the "Stink-eye" from people who did.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
I can see that I'm going to have more to complain about in this, my last year of employment before retiring, than in all the other over twenty combined, but that's the changing culture of today's workplace, I suppose.
Is enforced "schmoozing" now a thing? With my former boss of many years (decades), we were ignored... Treated as responsible professionals and left to do our jobs in peace. With that boss's departure, we got a replacement who very much encouraged potlucks (mostly a small-town female workforce here), which many of the employees embraced with glee. I'm an introvert who doesn't cook, so I was happy to sit those out.
Enter the third boss who wants not only weekly group meetings to "touch base," but also gatherings for comings, goings, congratulations, and how-do-you-dos and is willing to provide food out of his own pocket. When I quietly stayed behind in my office for the first (not an official meeting, but a goodbye meal; I'd already said my personal goodbyes to this employee), I was actually tracked down and "urged" to attend...
Is this not somewhat discriminatory against those with a more shy, retiring nature who don't "do" crowds?
I've managed to perform my duties quite competently all these years without forced meals around a table.
I can already see "not a team player" being etched in my permanent personnel record, threatening future part-time employment. The new boss is under 40, and retirement is looking more appealing all the time...
Yep, it is a thing very present in the workplace today. My old manager at my last job tried to force my to have a going away party when I gave my two weeks which I wasn’t feeling because I had long checked emotionally out at that point. That last week I got more stink eye than dead fish could give me because I flat out said I didn’t want a party.
Companies will use non-attendance against you for sure. Which is why I’ve accepted that illl likely have to change companies every couple of years for the rest of my career to get anywhere before I get sick of them and they get sick of me.
SMH. Read the topic again: MANDATORY Socialization. When the boss personally chases after you to attend, that's pretty mandatory.
Some of this doesn't sound mandatory at all. You can always plan other things during these times. Book other meetings, etc. Being urged to attend is not mandatory. You're a short timer.
This is probably a broader topic but in general, people who are extroverted and socially adept are typically the ones who get ahead in Corporate America. The shy, quiet folks generally get looked over. This is sort of a vicious cycle because the very people who are being promoted are the extroverts who will promote other extroverts, and so on and so on.
My mother just retired this year after 40 years at the same company, and in her last year her stance on just about everything was "Eh, so what. What are they going to do, fire me?" She wasn't slacking or not doing her job, she simply didn't care about the "extra" stuff such as these pot lucks any longer. No need to impress anyone if your days are numbered. Even if it's your boss who is the one pushing for these things, just ignore him/her as best you can.
IMO, a mandatory social event is just like any other mandatory meeting/event I need to attend. I attend, participate to the extent that is expected of someone in my position for that particular meeting, and leave.
I plan to work part-time in retirement -- both for the income and because I enjoy working -- so I would like to leave with a decent reference for my over twenty years of devoted service, only 1 1/2 of which it was no longer okay to be introverted and during which I was expected, apparently, to be a social butterfly at work (for those suggesting I simply thumb my nose at the new boss).
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