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Yeah that'd be even worse, but still you have to consider the opportunity cost: In that hour of wasted socialization time, OP could
1) Work out
2) Go for a long walk
3) Read
Some of us prefer to do things like that over forced useless fake socialization.
Agreed. My boss wanted to know why I didn't get together with her and a few coworkers who used to meet a couple evenings a week at a local restaurant. Aside from the fact that I had better things to do, I had already been around my boss and coworker for the majority of the day. The last thing I wanted at the end of the day was to see more of them.
This was also the boss who was trying to force us to go to the bank Christmas party. Three hundred people, like they'd know I was missing.
Yeah that'd be even worse, but still you have to consider the opportunity cost: In that hour of wasted socialization time, OP could
1) Work out
2) Go for a long walk
3) Read
Some of us prefer to do things like that over forced useless fake socialization.
The three items you described is exactly what I liked to do on my lunch hour.
However you can go out to a group lunch every few months that the boss is paying for and asked you to go to. That was what the OP was asked to do.
This isn't even a weekly or monthly that the OP is whining about, it's once in awhile when someone is leaving the company.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser
Agreed. My boss wanted to know why I didn't get together with her and a few coworkers who used to meet a couple evenings a week at a local restaurant. Aside from the fact that I had better things to do, I had already been around my boss and coworker for the majority of the day. The last thing I wanted at the end of the day was to see more of them.
This was also the boss who was trying to force us to go to the bank Christmas party. Three hundred people, like they'd know I was missing.
You're comparing apples to oranges, no one is asking the OP to go to after work events. That is totally different.
The OP is a big pill, they were asked to attend a going away lunch for a coworker and didn't go, that's being ridiculous.
Your scenario is totally different, and totally understandable, the OP's isn't. In fact in this day and age could be viewed as very odd, and with all the workplace violence we see(not saying the OP is that way) might be viewed as really odd and worrisome...just a thought.
You put on your big boy/girl pants and suck it up for an hour or two.
If it is during work time, well then, you are on their time. If they want you to go, on their time, I don't see what the problem is.....nor that anyone has any defense to that.
Secondly, I do make an effort to go to some of these affairs. Why?
When I retire after 30-35 years, I don't want to be at my party and people saying, "Who are you?".
If it is during work time, well then, you are on their time. If they want you to go, on their time, I don't see what the problem is.....nor that anyone has any defense to that.
Secondly, I do make an effort to go to some of these affairs. Why?
When I retire after 30-35 years, I don't want to be at my party and people saying, "Who are you?".
When the day comes that I decide to retire, my coworkers' thoughts will be about the last thing on my mind.
When the day comes that I decide to retire, my coworkers' thoughts will be about the last thing on my mind.
To each their own.
I have had some jobs, some professional relationships where it has been necessary to go to ground and never resurface, where I imagine some ask, if they bother at all, "What ever happened to Tamara?" and I imagine those who hated me are probably saying something terrible about me.
I have had some jobs, some professional relationships where it has been necessary to go to ground and never resurface, where I imagine some ask, if they bother at all, "What ever happened to Tamara?" and I imagine those who hated me are probably saying something terrible about me.
I'd rather not have a life completely like that.
That's okay. I just don't care about my coworkers or what they think as I'm only at work for the paycheck.
That's just how I feel though.
I plan to work part-time in retirement -- both for the income and because I enjoy working -- so I would like to leave with a decent reference for my over twenty years of devoted service, only 1 1/2 of which it was no longer okay to be introverted and during which I was expected, apparently, to be a social butterfly at work (for those suggesting I simply thumb my nose at the new boss).
Do you still talk to your old boss? Use that person as your reference, not the new boss. I've done that in the past - I still use a boss as a reference with whom I haven't worked in 12-15 years.
I don't mind the occasional potluck or something small to show appreciation or team-building. Maybe at the conclusion of a big project, a summer cookout, or similar.
My last employer was very much into this kind of thing. Weekly cookouts, games on site, all sorts of after work socialization opportunities. It was, by far, the worst place I've ever worked.
I can see that I'm going to have more to complain about in this, my last year of employment before retiring, than in all the other over twenty combined, but that's the changing culture of today's workplace, I suppose.
Is enforced "schmoozing" now a thing? With my former boss of many years (decades), we were ignored... Treated as responsible professionals and left to do our jobs in peace. With that boss's departure, we got a replacement who very much encouraged potlucks (mostly a small-town female workforce here), which many of the employees embraced with glee. I'm an introvert who doesn't cook, so I was happy to sit those out.
Enter the third boss who wants not only weekly group meetings to "touch base," but also gatherings for comings, goings, congratulations, and how-do-you-dos and is willing to provide food out of his own pocket. When I quietly stayed behind in my office for the first (not an official meeting, but a goodbye meal; I'd already said my personal goodbyes to this employee), I was actually tracked down and "urged" to attend...
Is this not somewhat discriminatory against those with a more shy, retiring nature who don't "do" crowds?
I've managed to perform my duties quite competently all these years without forced meals around a table.
I can already see "not a team player" being etched in my permanent personnel record, threatening future part-time employment. The new boss is under 40, and retirement is looking more appealing all the time...
It's only for another year, so keep the peace. Part time work is a good way to adjust to retirement.
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