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What does this have to do with the OP’s niece? She said the restaurants were all 30 minutes away, and if you are a female during that time of month you are absolutely not going to wait 30 minutes until you get to a restaurant, believe me. You are going to go when you need to go because the consequences of waiting are going to be more embarrassing than the consequences of inconveniencing people by making them wait 5 minutes while you go. Yeah, sometimes it can take a little while, but that’s just what happens when you are a woman.
There is nothing to indicate that the OP’s niece was rude or demanding. Most people can find something to eat if they are vegetarian or vegan. It doesn’t even sound like this group tried.
Actually you're the one who's not talking about the neice, why would you make up a situation just to argue? OP doesn't say anything about it being "that time of the month"!
Nice try.
What a bunch of flakes. First off the company was stupid for selecting this isolated area with few food options and not even providing at least one meal a day catered, perhaps lunch so everyone would have at least one meal a day without having to leave the general area. It was rude of the group to order extra fish and cancel the appetizers when they had already discussed it. Then expect her to pay her share?! Share of what, nothing. I wouldn’t have paid anything and from now on she’s best to plan ahead and get her own meals together.
As for the group leaving while she was getting her phone don’t really know here but it does seem odd that a few couldn’t have waited. However why did everyone else already have their phone and apparently used the restrooms etc., and were ready to depart for the restaurant. Why was she the only one that had to scramble around and have a delay. What was she doing and where was she when they all were discussing where to eat and when to leave?
Another thing that I wonder about is during the night of the fish incident why was she so late? She mentioned finishing up some work but by the time she got to her dinner group it sounds as if they were almost finished eating and there wasn’t anything left anyway. Why was she stuck working when nobody else was. It appears she’s very diligent and is very work focused at this retreat while the others are treating it like a vacation and less work. It seems as if she is always running late when others are ready to eat and put their orders in or she’s a straggler that always has to be getting her personal items together while everyone else is getting in the cabs ready to leave.
It could be deliberate rudeness or simple inconsiderateness, but I wouldn't jump right to that conclusion. If they were taking multiple vehicles and she got left behind, each group may well have assumed she was with another group. And people who aren't family, good friends, or extraordinarily thoughtful just very seldom pay attention to other people's dietary foibles. I've got a shellfish allergy and I never rely on others to make sure there's stuff around that's safe for me to eat, and that's an actual pressing medical issue, not just a personal preference.
What a bunch of flakes. First off the company was stupid for selecting this isolated area with few food options and not even providing at least one meal a day catered, perhaps lunch so everyone would have at least one meal a day without having to leave the general area. It was rude of the group to order extra fish and cancel the appetizers when they had already discussed it. Then expect her to pay her share?! Share of what, nothing. I wouldn’t have paid anything and from now on she’s best to plan ahead and get her own meals together. .
I've dine out with group of friends in a restaurant who ordered shrimp appetizer (I don't eat shrimp) and expected me to pitch in to help pay for it, which is rude. Since I don't eat that. This is why I generally get a separate check now at restaurants because I don't have the same food habits or preferences that most other people have, and I see no reason to subsidize their expensive choices.
Doesn't common courtesy go both ways? You have ten people that want steak, and one person that is vegetarian. Who is being the self centered one? I am not a heavy eater. So when I am in a situation like that--it is going to have to be salad or soup. I am okay with that--I am certainly not going to be the minority that has to have my way.
They left her once and then changed the menu without any consideration after the plans were made AND she was making appetizers for herself and others. The OP didn't say that she wasn't willing to eat salad or soup.
My niece went off to handle some work business and when she returned discovered that the other seven people had discussed it more and decided to order extra fish, of a different type, and not have any appetizers at all. That left my niece without any food to eat at all for dinner (but they still expected to divide the cost of the fish eight ways- which did not seem fair at all). It was too late to join another group as some of them had gone off to more distant restaurants or had made arrangements for late lunches and no dinner or other things.
Simply put, if you didn't order anything, don't take out your card. Walk away from the table.
Aside from the blatant rudeness of the insistence on splitting the check, she had no legal obligation to pay for anything.
It is very apparent from the posts, that the majority of the posters have never been to conferences, such as this young woman attended. I have been to many, with from maybe 50 people up to over one conference we attended every year with over 2,000 people attending. They don't include meals at these conferences, because of the wide variety of foods that people prefer, dietary necessities, etc. Some will have one meal in the 3 days to 10 days the conference lasts.
Example, a conference on international money movement, etc. held in the Grand Cayman Islands. My wife and I were there, as I had a number of clients living overseas, in my investment real estate business. I handled the buying, selling, and exchanging of their investments. The conference was arranged by the publisher of a real estate trade magazine, that I was one of the regular writers concerning real estate investments. Half the days meetings, were listening to speakers on money matters, including the Grand Cayman Island Treasurer, and a man I got to know sitting right behind him for 8 days in a group of 80 people. He had a different title, but as they are part of the British Empire their government is British Style, and using a word you will recognize the Prime Minister of the GC Islands. Sitting next to my wife was the wife of one of the major teachers at the conference, who was back then considered the top CPA-Tax Attorney in this country. Chuck was also the one that the Grand Caymans hired to write their tax shelter laws and codes. We got to be friends, and as we met around the country 2 or 3 times every year, we used to be meal partners with them at conferences.
The other half of the day we had presentations by the group presenting to the group real estate investments that wanted to exchange them. We made enough profit from that conference, to pay for our travel and all expenses for that 10 days, plus enough to live on for 6 months if that was all the business I did for that 6 months, so it was a very serious conference. The conference went for 3 days, then the weekend to explore the island, then the following 5 days starting on Monday.
We only had one meal supplied by the conference organizers, which was outdoor B-B-Que done Island Style. The rest of the time, we were on our own for meals. Groups would form for different meal locations. If you could not eat what the rest of the group was eating, you did not go with them.
The OP's niece, wanted others to eat what she wanted, and insisted that everyone order items she wanted to eat. The group got together without her, and decided that was not what they wanted to do, and took advantage of the location and the fresh fish it offered.
The niece got left behind, and had to find a way to eat that pleased her tastes. When you go to a conference where you know very few if any of the others attending, you find a group to join that have the same desires to eat at a certain place, not expecting them to change what they are going to eat to fit your desires. It was the niece that was out of place, expecting others to eat her choice of food not theirs.
When the group is going to a restaurant, and the taxi fleet is there to take you, you suddenly do not say when the taxi is waiting, "Hey I forgot my phone and need to go to my room to get it and use the restroom. And there is no way, a person is going to get to their room, use the bathroom and get back to the taxi area in 5 minutes. It is a simple physical impossibility. It is up to you to be ready to go and not do your prima donna act, and expect others to wait for you. A close friend may do so, but a group of strangers are not going to do it.
This is the real world of conferences, and the business world. It was the niece that was out of place, not the others that did not bow and scrape to the prima donna. What she was doing was very high school as they say, not done out in the business world in a conference setting. Either you are compatible with the group, or you are not accepted as this young woman found out. Hopefully this was a lesson and wake up call to her, to make some changes of what she expects from people and learns to adapt and handle herself in the adult world of business and conferences if she wants to succeed in the business world.
The OP's niece, wanted others to eat what she wanted, and insisted that everyone order items she wanted to eat. The group got together without her, and decided that was not what they wanted to do, and took advantage of the location and the fresh fish it offered.
The niece got left behind, and had to find a way to eat that pleased her tastes. When you go to a conference where you know very few if any of the others attending, you find a group to join that have the same desires to eat at a certain place, not expecting them to change what they are going to eat to fit your desires. It was the niece that was out of place, expecting others to eat her choice of food not theirs.
When the group is going to a restaurant, and the taxi fleet is there to take you, you suddenly do not say when the taxi is waiting, "Hey I forgot my phone and need to go to my room to get it and use the restroom. And there is no way, a person is going to get to their room, use the bathroom and get back to the taxi area in 5 minutes. It is a simple physical impossibility. It is up to you to be ready to go and not do your prima donna act, and expect others to wait for you. A close friend may do so, but a group of strangers are not going to do it.
This is the real world of conferences, and the business world. It was the niece that was out of place, not the others that did not bow and scrape to the prima donna. What she was doing was very high school as they say, not done out in the business world in a conference setting. Either you are compatible with the group, or you are not accepted as this young woman found out. Hopefully this was a lesson and wake up call to her, to make some changes of what she expects from people and learns to adapt and handle herself in the adult world of business and conferences if she wants to succeed in the business world.
She had made arrangements to have dinner with a group of eight people tonight. It was arranged that they were going to order fresh cooked fish and have them delivered to where they are staying (that is a common practice at that resort) and they were going to make a bunch of appetizers to share to go with the fish. That was agreed by everyone, including my niece who is a vegetarian, that it was a very good plan. It is well known that my niece is a vegetarian and does not eat fish and she pointed out that she would just fill up on the appetizers. (while it was a minor point, everyone was sharing the cost of the fish & the appetizers equally but that was OK with my niece).
This doesn't sound like the niece was acting like a prima donna at all, and she was willing to share in the costs. She didn't want "others to eat what she wanted" like you claim. And no where does it say that insisted they eat what she wanted.
My niece went off to handle some work business and when she returned discovered that the other seven people had discussed it more and decided to order extra fish, of a different type, and not have any appetizers at all. That left my niece without any food to eat at all for dinner (but they still expected to divide the cost of the fish eight ways- which did not seem fair at all). It was too late to join another group as some of them had gone off to more distant restaurants or had made arrangements for late lunches and no dinner or other things.
At this point when they decided not to have appetizers was when she should not have paid a dime.
So my niece, took the bus, by herself, to the city a half hour away to buy some food to make appetizers for herself to eat tonight (guacamole & bruschetta), while the others are eating fresh fish. As she was leaving the hotel/resort two people told her that they would like appetizers, too. (well why didn't they speak up when "everyone" decided no appetizers and more fresh fish?). So, she spent an hour and a half getting food from the market so she would have something to eat tonight. (BTW, she bought some extra food to eat in case this happened again).
The niece did not make a fuss, she simply traveled to get something she could eat. If others decided they wanted appetizers after all, then they should have gone with her.
The only thing that would have annoyed me would be waiting around for someone who wasn't ready and having a taxi waiting outside. If they didn't know her that well and weren't really friends of hers, they saw no reason to stick around. I can't say I blame them for that.
I blame the company 100 percent for booking a location that did not ensure that everyone would have an adequate choice of food close to where the meetings were being held. Not that I think there should be restaurants of every conceivable type, but there is hardly a decent restaurant in the U.S. now that doesn't have vegetarian options, and even ten years ago, when my employer had food brought in to for the employees or a business meeting, there was ALWAYS a vegetarian option.
(And, btw, I think that I dislike VERY picky eaters as much as anyone does!)
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Doesn't common courtesy go both ways? You have ten people that want steak, and one person that is vegetarian. Who is being the self centered one? I am not a heavy eater. So when I am in a situation like that--it is going to have to be salad or soup. I am okay with that--I am certainly not going to be the minority that has to have my way.