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You invite who you like to eat lunch with. Just because you work together, it does not mean you have to invite her to lunch. Tell her to go play in traffic.
To be a devil's advocate for Miss E - it's possible that her feelings were hurt at not being asked, and that it came out (inappropriately) as aggression (which happens sometimes).
Perhaps offer Miss E some grace in this instance and think how YOU'D feel if you got left out of a lunch date with other co-workers (and before you say, "I wouldn't care!" think about whether or not you really would not care - a lot of people SAY they don't care, but when comes down to it, they do care).
It is quite possible that she would not have gone to lunch at all - it was the fact that she wasn't invited in the first place that hurt her feelings.
Is she mentally unstable? Of course not. Sensitive about possibly not fitting in or being left out? Maybe.
No, really a functional adult wouldn't care. I spent 10 years working in an office with other people before going to work from home. How my work friends (friends, not just coworkers) spent their lunch was none of my business and it never occurred to me to care. We all went out with each other in groups, in twos, etc., in every configuration you could imagine.
So yes, I'm thinking unstable is an apt word for Miss E. Adults don't act like this. If they do, there is something wrong with their wiring.
OP, I would start logging interactions with her. You are a temp and she is a temp, but if there's any drama, the company probably would just drop you both unless you have some kind of documentation showing you are not the cause of the problem. I would not complain unless she escalates things, but make sure all your i's are dotted and your t's crossed with your work.
How old is Miss E.? It sounds like she felt left out and can't stand it, maybe she has low self-esteem? Anyway, she definitely overreacted and - unless she is a teenager or very immature - she should know bullying and acting entitled is not going to result in being included next time.
Wow. If I were upset and confrontational every time coworkers went to lunch without me, I'd be steaming every day. I'll have people *discuss* their lunch plans right in front of me, people will be on their way out the door to lunch as a group and then stop and ask me to do something for them while they're gone. I never feel people should be obligated to invite me. Was she the only person in the office who was excluded, or something, that she should feel so slighted?
To start, we recently got a new part-time employee at my company (I'll call her S in this story), and her and I hit it off pretty well. We have a lot in common and I really enjoy talking to her, so I wanted to invite her out to lunch. No big deal, and I didn't think to ask the other employees in our department, who include an older lady (we'll call her Miss E) and a younger woman. To give a little more backstory, Miss E and I are both temp-to-hires; I started four months ago and Miss E started about five months ago. We did discuss going out to eat together the first month or two I was there, but she didn't have the money at the time. Neither of us brought up going out to lunch again after that.
Anyway, the first time S and I went out to lunch, we received these red envelopes from the restaurant that had coupons inside for free items on the menu, but you had to bring them in within a certain time frame. Well, the deadline was the end of this month, so I asked S out again for lunch. The thought of asking Miss E briefly crossed my mind, but since it was a last minute thing and we had to use the coupons, we just went and I didn't think more of it. Oh boy...
(snip drama)
What do I think? That I'm glad I worked from home for two years, mostly, and didn't walk into our office for fourteen months. Literally.
When I did, I'd gather a posse of whoever was around for lunch. Small office, mostly offsite for client work, and I'd grab who I could. I was always pretty loud about the parties I'd gather, anywhere from zero to three others. I don't remember ever snagging more than that.
And when possible, I'd just bolt at 11:30am and bring something back, or if the weather cooperated somewhere outside on my own. People form cliques and I want no part of it, now or ever, for reason of OP's experience.
Might want to do lunch solo next month or so, then cautiously bring in E. Two's company, threes a crowd, not sure why that is but often happens w/humans, too. Add one or two more usually breaks things up well enough. Otherwise, just "don't."
To be a devil's advocate for Miss E - it's possible that her feelings were hurt at not being asked, and that it came out (inappropriately) as aggression (which happens sometimes).
Perhaps offer Miss E some grace in this instance and think how YOU'D feel if you got left out of a lunch date with other co-workers (and before you say, "I wouldn't care!" think about whether or not you really would not care - a lot of people SAY they don't care, but when comes down to it, they do care).
It is quite possible that she would not have gone to lunch at all - it was the fact that she wasn't invited in the first place that hurt her feelings.
Is she mentally unstable? Of course not. Sensitive about possibly not fitting in or being left out? Maybe.
I think you're on to something when you say that her feelings were very hurt and came out as aggression. I personally don't think Miss E is "crazy," but I do think she is very immature and desperate. What I mean by that is Miss E was working for another company for decades before being laid off recently (she wasn't far off from retirement). I think she's just not use to the new working environment, and expects people to treat her the same as they did at her old job. She always tells me how unfriendly she thinks everyone is at our company, how no one talks to her (I guess I don't count), and how her coworkers were like family at her old company. I think she expects the same "family" treatment from us, and maybe that's why she was so mad at me specifically? I also don't think she's getting it when it comes to our job, so she might be latching onto all the negatives she possibly can to continue assuming our company sucks. She gets literally frantic over making mistakes or not understanding things. I know she's looking at other jobs elsewhere...
As for me personally feeling angry about not getting invited to a hypothetical lunch, I really think it depends on the circumstances. I've worked in multiple companies over the years (I'm in my mid-30s), and I've seen countless coworkers go on lunch breaks together without asking everyone in the department. It's never really bothered me. The only time I've raised an eyebrow was when a supervisor would take out certain people to lunch and not others. I don't think it's professional for a supervisor to do that sort of thing...but two coworkers enjoying lunch breaks together isn't a big deal IMO.
Invited her to lunch. She declined as she didn't have the funds. Now she's carrying on about how you don't invite her to lunch..
It is possible she was throwing out hints that she wanted someone to buy her lunch, when she said she didn't have the funds. That could be what this is really about. Anyway, I agree it's strange but I would say, more immature behavior than strange.
Mrs E was invited to lunch so if this comes up again, I'd remind her of such. No matter what her reasons were for saying no (lack of funds, in a bad mood, feeling ill, etc).
You did invite her but it sounds as if she's acting otherwise. Go to lunch with who you want. Next time, I'd try to be a little more discreet just to avoid history repeating itself again. Sorry this happened to you.
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