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Old 01-01-2011, 08:47 AM
 
6,367 posts, read 16,872,464 times
Reputation: 5934

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Todays lessen

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Old 01-01-2011, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,567 posts, read 84,777,093 times
Reputation: 115083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gimme3steps View Post
Todays lessen

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Funny! Love it. Happy New Year to you.
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Old 01-01-2011, 12:01 PM
 
Location: 112 Ocean Avenue
5,706 posts, read 9,630,158 times
Reputation: 8932
35. Learn to spell grammar correctly.
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Old 01-01-2011, 02:53 PM
 
6,367 posts, read 16,872,464 times
Reputation: 5934
36. Have a sense of humor.
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Old 01-01-2011, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Arizona
214 posts, read 961,625 times
Reputation: 199
Ha ha nice, I like it!
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Old 01-01-2011, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
2,754 posts, read 6,101,006 times
Reputation: 4669
That's the goodest list of writing tips I ever saw!
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:16 AM
 
Location: Florida
7,195 posts, read 5,726,143 times
Reputation: 12342
I love it!
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Old 01-02-2011, 12:43 PM
 
3,562 posts, read 4,395,122 times
Reputation: 6270
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gimme3steps View Post
36. Have a sense of humor.
Seriously!
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:30 PM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,930 posts, read 13,925,363 times
Reputation: 9184
HaHaHa!!!
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:33 PM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,930 posts, read 13,925,363 times
Reputation: 9184
Quote:
Originally Posted by think first View Post
35. Learn to spell grammar correctly.

Lighten up, Francis!


I take it you read the title of the thread, but not the OP.
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