I moved out.....Now what?
Posted 05-29-2012 at 05:00 PM by txtqueen
So I moved out of my mom's house about 6 months ago.
Granted I only had a drawer and some space in the bathroom at TG's apartment, I was STILL not LIVING at home.
Now I have pretty much gotten everything out, left stuff for a "spare bedroom" for them to do with as they please. Have family visiting or whatever.
Everyone told me to do this. Move out of your mom's house if you don't like it, get your own place and make your own rules, become independent and show your mom you're growing up, your mom really loves you blah blah ****ing blah.
I think I mentioned my laptop having some issues, well my mom burned a stolen copy of Windows 7 and told me it was going to fix ALL my problem, but now my laptop is screwed up even more and I can't do anything to fix it. When I installed it, it worked fine, I installed some anti-virus stuff on it and never used it very much. Maybe twice since putting the new OS on. I bring it over to our new place and the other night log in just fine, use it for a little bit, go for a walk and then I come home and try to log in and it doesn't work. Keeps telling me my password is wrong, even though I am POSITIVE I am typing it in right.
I tell my mom and she is of no help, telling me I must have done something wrong, that the virus must have embedded itself deeper than she thought.
I told her I need a LEGIT version of windows, not something stolen. I know, I am positive that it will fix it but she's telling me I don't need it, that *I* did something wrong.
I talked to my grandmother, asked if I could use some of my college fund to fix my laptop up so I can start slowly taking some classes again. My grandmother is 72 years old, she knows HOW to use a computer but knows nothing about computers. She told me to find out some prices and send her the links and she'd take care of it. I went to get a check to the college fund account from my mom (they are my grandmothers checks but my mom holds on to them), my mom lies and says she has none then calls my grandmother, tells my grandmother I don't know what I am talking about and that *I* broke my laptop and that it doesn't need a new OS.
I get a call from my grandmother who tells me, "Well I guess you're just going to send me your laptop info and I'll buy you the parts and your mom is going to fix the OS." My mom never is getting near my laptop again, ALL the computers in her house are having major issues, she doesn't know what she is doing.
But I am 22, she needs to stop stepping in and controlling my life and controlling how I handle things with other people.
When I was 19 and I visited my grandmother, she called my grandmother and told her I wasn't "allowed" to drive my grandmothers car. LMFAO @ allow, I was an adult in another state, allow my ass and it was my grandmothers car.
When I was 21 she didn't want me driving cross country to visit my grandmother, she called up my grandmother and told her that I wasn't an experienced enough driver, that I couldn't handle driving alone for that long, told her I was emotionally ready or mature enough, told her I wasn't allowed to drive there, that she didn't want me doing it.
And now this.
I am 22 years old, turning 23 in just a few months, I make more money than my mom does, because I actually have a job, I am supporting me, TG and feeding the dog until he gets his first check. I live in a nice place, everything is kept very clean and we're so much better off than my mom, my mom sits in her room, does nothing, lets her son run wild, stays up till all hours of the night and does nothing productive.
TG and I spent all day yesterday with his sister and niece. Planting flowers, doing yard work, cleaning up, BBQing out, while my mom was out buying ammo for my brother and his friend D to go shooting, when D is on medications for anger issues and has frequently talked about shooting and killing his parents.
Either way, I am an adult, a real adult now, so why does she think it is ok to step in, lie to grandmother so she can STILL try to control me? I've done all I am supposed to do and yet she still feels like she has any right at all to try and control me still. She seriously isn't a happy person unless she is making someone else miserable.
I am at a loss of what to do except cut off all contact for awhile and not speak to her whatsoever and tell my grandmother to not speak to my mom about me anymore and if my mom calls with her little game playing to hang up and not listen to it.
My mom is a liar, a mooch, a manipulator and she isn't happy unless she is dragging someone else down.
TG pretty much refuses to go over to my mom's house because he hates seeing what she does and how miserable it makes me, he told me he can't stand to see me upset over what she does to me.
I don't know how to handle this at all.
Granted I only had a drawer and some space in the bathroom at TG's apartment, I was STILL not LIVING at home.
Now I have pretty much gotten everything out, left stuff for a "spare bedroom" for them to do with as they please. Have family visiting or whatever.
Everyone told me to do this. Move out of your mom's house if you don't like it, get your own place and make your own rules, become independent and show your mom you're growing up, your mom really loves you blah blah ****ing blah.
I think I mentioned my laptop having some issues, well my mom burned a stolen copy of Windows 7 and told me it was going to fix ALL my problem, but now my laptop is screwed up even more and I can't do anything to fix it. When I installed it, it worked fine, I installed some anti-virus stuff on it and never used it very much. Maybe twice since putting the new OS on. I bring it over to our new place and the other night log in just fine, use it for a little bit, go for a walk and then I come home and try to log in and it doesn't work. Keeps telling me my password is wrong, even though I am POSITIVE I am typing it in right.
I tell my mom and she is of no help, telling me I must have done something wrong, that the virus must have embedded itself deeper than she thought.
I told her I need a LEGIT version of windows, not something stolen. I know, I am positive that it will fix it but she's telling me I don't need it, that *I* did something wrong.
I talked to my grandmother, asked if I could use some of my college fund to fix my laptop up so I can start slowly taking some classes again. My grandmother is 72 years old, she knows HOW to use a computer but knows nothing about computers. She told me to find out some prices and send her the links and she'd take care of it. I went to get a check to the college fund account from my mom (they are my grandmothers checks but my mom holds on to them), my mom lies and says she has none then calls my grandmother, tells my grandmother I don't know what I am talking about and that *I* broke my laptop and that it doesn't need a new OS.
I get a call from my grandmother who tells me, "Well I guess you're just going to send me your laptop info and I'll buy you the parts and your mom is going to fix the OS." My mom never is getting near my laptop again, ALL the computers in her house are having major issues, she doesn't know what she is doing.
But I am 22, she needs to stop stepping in and controlling my life and controlling how I handle things with other people.
When I was 19 and I visited my grandmother, she called my grandmother and told her I wasn't "allowed" to drive my grandmothers car. LMFAO @ allow, I was an adult in another state, allow my ass and it was my grandmothers car.
When I was 21 she didn't want me driving cross country to visit my grandmother, she called up my grandmother and told her that I wasn't an experienced enough driver, that I couldn't handle driving alone for that long, told her I was emotionally ready or mature enough, told her I wasn't allowed to drive there, that she didn't want me doing it.
And now this.
I am 22 years old, turning 23 in just a few months, I make more money than my mom does, because I actually have a job, I am supporting me, TG and feeding the dog until he gets his first check. I live in a nice place, everything is kept very clean and we're so much better off than my mom, my mom sits in her room, does nothing, lets her son run wild, stays up till all hours of the night and does nothing productive.
TG and I spent all day yesterday with his sister and niece. Planting flowers, doing yard work, cleaning up, BBQing out, while my mom was out buying ammo for my brother and his friend D to go shooting, when D is on medications for anger issues and has frequently talked about shooting and killing his parents.
Either way, I am an adult, a real adult now, so why does she think it is ok to step in, lie to grandmother so she can STILL try to control me? I've done all I am supposed to do and yet she still feels like she has any right at all to try and control me still. She seriously isn't a happy person unless she is making someone else miserable.
I am at a loss of what to do except cut off all contact for awhile and not speak to her whatsoever and tell my grandmother to not speak to my mom about me anymore and if my mom calls with her little game playing to hang up and not listen to it.
My mom is a liar, a mooch, a manipulator and she isn't happy unless she is dragging someone else down.
TG pretty much refuses to go over to my mom's house because he hates seeing what she does and how miserable it makes me, he told me he can't stand to see me upset over what she does to me.
I don't know how to handle this at all.
Total Comments 64
Comments
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I'm just going to take some stuff like interpersonal communications and things that I can use in the work place.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
Not buying it. You haven't been in any hurry to take classes for 4 years. So wait until fall when you can afford it. Not that difficult.
Not to mention, how would you know what classes you need if as you've stated, you have no idea how manycredits you have and you haven't been in touch with an advisor to make a plan?
Your grandmother may be gullible. I'm not.
I dont need to talk to an advisor if I am just taking one or two classes.Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:08 PM by txtqueen
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So not planning to work toward anything...just...taking classes. Wait until fall.Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:11 PM by maciesmom
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Someday there will not be a trust fund to fall back on. Then what will you do?
Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:13 PM by Kibbiekat
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I'm with MM. It makes no sense to take a couple random classes when you are almost out of school money, and about 4 years behind anyway. You should figure out exactly what you need to take to finish and transfer or finish an AA, and take only what you need. ETA BTW You can get an AA in medical records or a certificate in Medical Office Technology at ACC. You said you want to work in a doctor's office. Maybe you should be working toward one of those.Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:18 PM by Kibbiekat
Updated 05-29-2012 at 08:27 PM by Kibbiekat -
But if they are not anything you need to accomplish something then it's just a waste of money. Why wouldn't you take the time to find what will actually be beneficial.Quote:Originally Posted by txtqueen
I'm just going to take some stuff like interpersonal communications and things that I can use in the work place.
I dont need to talk to an advisor if I am just taking one or two classes.
Also you don't even know exactly what you're planning to take? "Interpersonal communication or something" does not sound like a person who has seriously looked at classes.Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:28 PM by maciesmom
Updated 05-29-2012 at 09:55 PM by maciesmom -
Wow, txt. You have a blog and I actually clicked on it and read it. :p
If you want to be treated like an adult and receive all of the privileges and respect that go with the title, you have to actually be an adult and take charge of your life and be responsible for yourself when issues arise. Asking your Grandma to fix this for you is not very mature. There are libraries all over the place. Go to one and use a computer until you have the money to fix yours. If it's so cheap you should be able to save up in no time at all.Posted 05-29-2012 at 08:38 PM by Dorthy
Updated 05-29-2012 at 08:42 PM by Dorthy (spelling) -
Intro to Business and Management.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
But if they are not anything you need to accomplish something then it's just a waste of money. Why wouldn't you take the time to find what will actually be beneficial.
Also you don't even know exactly what you're planning to take? "Interpersonal communication or something" does not sound like something a person who has seriously looked at classes.
Sounds great, sounds beneficial.
Both online and both I can do good in.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:06 PM by txtqueen
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You might want to think about Grammar and Composition 101.Quote:Originally Posted by txtqueen
Both online and both I can do good in.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:09 PM by DewDropInn
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Ah....what happened to Interpersonal Communications? You're changing your tune to fit your story.
Meet with an advisor. Make a plan. Start in the fall. Pay as you go. Stick with the program.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:11 PM by maciesmom
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No. It's already been bought, I should have the stuff by the 4th.Quote:Originally Posted by Dorthy
Wow, txt. You have a blog and I actually clicked on it and read it.
If you want to be treated like an adult and receive all of the privileges and respect that go with the title, you have to actually be an adult and take charge of your life and be responsible for yourself when issues arise. Asking your Grandma to fix this for you is not very mature. There are libraries all over the place. Go to one and use a computer until you have the money to fix yours. If it's so cheap you should be able to save up in no time at all.
TG has a laptop but I can't take his laptop to work with me, on tuesday and wednesday he gets home from work at 5 and I am at work till 11, he wouldn't have it at all then and I am at work from 7am-7pm sat and sun, and he is off on the weekends and I would have it all day then too. Which isn't fair to him.I need my own laptop that I can take to work with me everyday and on the weekends, so I am not keeping his from him all the time.
There would only be three days of the week he could actually use his laptop and it would only be after work.
My college fund IS FOR classes, books, supplies and things like fixing my laptop, my college fund was also used on my explorer stuff too.
It's none of my mom's business what I do with my college fund. So for her to be putting her nose in my business trying to step in and control how things are being handled between me and my grandmother is wrong. She needs to back the **** down and learn the new dynamic here. She's the mother, I am the adult child who isn't living at home, therefore means she needs to **** and quit trying to still control me.
Everyone says when you move out you can do what you want and make your own rules and mommy and daddy can't do ****. I am calling bull**** on this, she's STILL trying to call the shots.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:15 PM by txtqueen
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Minor slip.Quote:Originally Posted by DewDropInn
You might want to think about Grammar and Composition 101.
I am usually better with that kind of stuff.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:17 PM by txtqueen
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I said like interpersonal communications or something, reason why I said that class in particular was because I have taken that one already and i want to take a similar class like that that revolves around communicating with people in the work place and working on those skills and learning how to run or manage somewhere. Those classes that help with communicating and managing an office.Quote:Originally Posted by maciesmom
Ah....what happened to Interpersonal Communications? You're changing your tune to fit your story.
Meet with an advisor. Make a plan. Start in the fall. Pay as you go. Stick with the program.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:28 PM by txtqueen
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No...not when you move out...when you support yourself. If you were spending your own money your grandmother or mother wouldn't be involved. The minute you ask them for money, then tney are involved whether or not you like it.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:28 PM by maciesmom
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Maybe we should have been more specific. Moving out doesn't mean squat if you still have to ask your mom or your grandma for financial help. you ***** and complain that your mom lets your grandma support her, but you do the same thing. the first little unexpected expense and you run to grandma. that's not supporting your self. You are already indebted to your grandma for your car. If I were her, I wouldn't give you any money either.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:31 PM by Kibbiekat
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Which means you hadn't even actually looked at tbe catalogue of classes until you wanted to justify your computer expense. You're not that interested in the classes themselves but in the cash you can get out of your grandmother. Which is exactly what I said at the beginning.Quote:Originally Posted by txtqueen
I said like interpersonal communications or something, reason why I said that class in particular was because I have taken that one already and i want to take a similar class like that that revolves around communicating with people in the work place and working on those skills and learning how to run or manage somewhere. Those classes that help with communicating and managing an office.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:31 PM by maciesmom
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I'm serious. You hand in a paper using the grammar you use on line and you won't pass. (If this "online course" is at any type of legitimate school.)
Spend some of Granny's money on a book called "The Elements of Style".
End of free advice because I can guarantee you that you will HATE what I tell you about your tale of woe with Mommie and Grandma.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:32 PM by DewDropInn
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[QUOTE=txtqueen;bt49719]No. It's already been bought, I should have the stuff by the 4th.
TG has a laptop but I can't take his laptop to work with me, on tuesday and wednesday he gets home from work at 5 and I am at work till 11, he wouldn't have it at all then and I am at work from 7am-7pm sat and sun, and he is off on the weekends and I would have it all day then too. Which isn't fair to him.I need my own laptop that I can take to work with me everyday and on the weekends, so I am not keeping his from him all the time.
There would only be three days of the week he could actually use his laptop and it would only be after work.
My college fund IS FOR classes, books, supplies and things like fixing my laptop, my college fund was also used on my explorer stuff too.
It's none of my mom's business what I do with my college fund. So for her to be putting her nose in my business trying to step in and control how things are being handled between me and my grandmother is wrong. She needs to back the **** down and learn the new dynamic here. She's the mother, I am the adult child who isn't living at home, therefore means she needs to **** and quit trying to still control me.
Everyone says when you move out you can do what you want and make your own rules and mommy and daddy can't do ****. I am calling bull**** on this, she's STILL trying to call the shots.[/QUOTE]
It's already been bought? :confused: By who?
I have no idea why you are explaining your and TG's work schedules. If you need something to do at work, bring a book or a magazine. Having to go without a computer for a few hours is not a big deal.
If you're asking people for money to fix things for you then don't be surprised when they get involved in your business and treat you like a child. It is what it is.Posted 05-29-2012 at 09:43 PM by Dorthy
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No, she doesn't have to approve.Quote:Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
You knew your mom had the checks. You knew your mom would pretty much have to approve the request. If you had 2 nickles to rub together you could just get it fixed yourself. That is what being on your own is about. Unexpected expenses come up all the time.
last week our garage door opener quit working. That was $500. Just like that. Do you think we went running to our parents for help?
It's my grandmothers checks and my college fund.
She has no say in the matter, if my grandmother says do it, there is no "approving" for her to do. She has no say.
The only reason she has those checks is because they are linked to my grandmothers account. My grandmother transfers X amount into her account from mine, I write a check for that amount and cash it, then go buy school supplies or books. My grandmother gives my mom a check and tells my mom X amount of money (not my college stuff, my grandmothers money) and my mom goes and uses it for bills or groceries.
I need new tires soon, before winter no ifs and or butts about it, its not something I will be running to anyone for but my laptop is a school expense and another thing I realised I really need to take is spanish, I can't communicate with the cleaning crew here at work and I am very limited with jobs by not being able to speak spanish, I need to learn some spanish this summer, that IS one I need to take.Posted 05-29-2012 at 10:31 PM by txtqueen
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Quote:Originally Posted by Dorthy
It's already been bought? By who?
I have no idea why you are explaining your and TG's work schedules. If you need something to do at work, bring a book or a magazine. Having to go without a computer for a few hours is not a big deal.
If you're asking people for money to fix things for you then don't be surprised when they get involved in your business and treat you like a child. It is what it is.
OMG.
No id be taking it to work to do school classes.
Leaving him with out his computer all day on the weekends and at night during the week, which is now the only time he is home. It wouldn't be fair to him to ALWAYS be without his laptop because I was taking it to do school.
And my grandmother, I told you, my laptop is a school expense. I got dell to send me another copy of windows vista and then it was like $46 to replace the worn out parts, in a week I will have a functioning laptop and can take the conversational spanish class I really need, there is a large population of spanish speaking people here and I can't communicate with them.Posted 05-29-2012 at 10:34 PM by txtqueen
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Oh FFS.
It's only a school expense IF YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL.
You're only going to school in your head, that doesn't count.
Regardless, it is not adult and self sufficient to go running to your Grandma for less than 50 bucks, whatever it's for.
YOU set that in motion, so your mother's reaction was YOUR fault. If you don't want them interfering, then don't ask them for ****.
You need to find a career path and FOCUS. Willy nilly taking Spanish and whatnot is a waste of money and will look flakey to a prospective employer, when you go to do an internship at something. You need to save your money for when you go work for someone for nothing, which is how you start out in a career these days.
You need to not be worrying about camping and Spanish, keep your bed on the floor like every other broke 20 something and FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE.Posted 05-30-2012 at 05:22 AM by FinsterRufus 
