need help for pregnant teen (Homewood: school, subsidized, teachers)

[Calidreemer]

Refrade excuse me for responding to Incognito regarding the DCFS question....

DCFS did respond to the hotline call made by the doctor. This is one of the most difficult cases - minors with adult partners. The DCFS investigator may or may not have filed charges against the BF. They have 90 days to decide whether a case is founded or unfounded.

[refade]

I appreciate your help Calidreemer. Yes, she was only 14 when she got pregnant and like so many of us - when it gets so close to their Birthday we often say they're a year older. DCFC did look into the situation, they came to my house and talked to the entire family, however they could not interview the father. They also contacted the local police, which needed to respond within 48 hours, which they did not - although I did contacted a friend who is a local juvenile police detective and he informed me that if no charges are filed by my family and it was considered consentual, the police would basically tell DCFS no charges are filed and drop it. DCFS found no incidence of abuse and neglect in the initial investigation, and the sex was consentual, and there was less than a five year difference in their ages, DCFS basically dropped everything. And that's what happened. They have sent me a letter stating that all of the records regarding this incident will be distroyed unless I want to keep them on file as a false report.

[refade]

I would also like to add in my own defense and defense of others in this situation, how many times do Freshman and Seniors date in high school, are they suddenly supposed to break up when one turns 18? Even if we talk to them til we can't talk anymore - teenagers have sex. I was nieve in thinking my 14 year old was not having sex - that's a mistake on my part. I understand the age of concent is 17 - but excuse this question if you find it offensive - how many of us, had sex before 17 or 18? What I am glad to witness in this situation, is that this boy didn't run, and it seems he's in this for the duration. He goes to work everyday, he helps out not only at his own home, but here at ours. He sat on my couch and folded laundry yesterday, something I can't get my own kids to do. I can't see condemning them for the same judgement - I used as a kid,- if they are working so hard to make a good situation out of all this. I am also happy and even relieved that in the legal system we have - in this situation, it seemed that the best interest in my daughter and the baby, and even the father was taken into consideration and it was determined to leave well enough alone and let these two kids try to handle this and work to be the best parents they can possibly be.

[katgrl43]

Good luck to your daughter and her baby. With a family like yours behind her, she'll be just fine. God Bless!

[refade]

Thanks katgrl43.
I want to bring you all up to date on the family if that's okay. This past week Courtney and I flew to my mother's in Las Vegas. My mom is 81 years old and was living with my oldest sister until my sister died on Aug. 3, of multiple medical conditions ( heart disease, diabetes etc.). Both my mother and sister were wheelchair bound from complications of diabetes. My brother flew out earlier in the week and made the arrangements for my sister, and then Courtney and I followed by plane. Beginning on Monday, we drove the 1700 miles from Vegas, with my brother, my mother, and 2 dogs and pulling a trailer of my mother's dearest possessions. I am the youngest of six kids, and other than my brother and my second oldest sister who is handicapped herself from a stroke, my other siblings want nothing to do with my mother ( that's a whole other story I'd rather not discuss ) So, as of 4am Thursday morning MOM is living with me. I can't believe the turn of events that have touched my life this year. Trying as they have been. My children would not have had the opportunity to really know their grandmother and now they do, and she'll finally be able to meet her great grandchildren, and even one of mine. Something I never expected.
Courtney handled the long ride quite well. And I think taking some the focus off of her and putting it on my mom has been good for her as well. My mom really won't be able to help much with the baby - but it will be really nice to have her here.

[Anthera]

refade,

Your family is very lucky to have you.

[refade]

Thanks Anthera. I have to say finding this forum has been a wonderful thing. The kindness and support from total strangers is beyond anything I could have imagined. You have no idea how much it means to me.

[refade]

Does anyone know what to do for extreme itching when pregnant? This is not just the normal itchy belly and breast. Courtney itches all over - her palms and her feet, everywhere. She's going to try an oatmeal bath today, but I was wondering if anybody had any other remedies. She'll also ask the doctor at the appointment tomorrow. Thanks for your help.

[samma]

There is a rash called PUPP(sometimes PUPPP) that is horrible itchy and on the belly and can spread, but that is usually much later in pregnancy. You said she is a smal girl, correct? The rest of her is stretching too, more so than most if she is really small so that could add too it. Also it could just be allergies, I know mine are going nuts right now.

[refade]

Well, Courtney had an uneventful doctor visit today. All is well with her and the baby. Her itching stopped after I gave her a benedryl ( approved by her doctor ). Her boyfriend got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. A reality check for him I'm sure. On Saturday we told my husband's family, all went well there, of course they were shocked at the news. They had all met Courtney's boyfriend before, and I think they liked him. But after hearing of his hard work, what we had already investigated, her plans to continue school and her want to become a cosmotologist after high school, everyone seemed okay with the situation. I'm sure they all had a lot to talk about on their drives home, but they were not negative in any way toward us while with us.
Life is settling in with my mother living with us. I'm thinking of starting another thread about how to deal with an elderly parent's diabetes. So if you know of one already running, give me a heads up okay.
Thanks again for all of your support, maybe after the baby is born, we can find a neutral location and meet with all of you.

Always, Refade