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At this point in time, she has no grounds for divorce. Going out with his buddies and getting drunk does not constitute grounds for divorce. However, if she suspects there are other women involved, and a sexual relationship can be proved, she has grounds for divorce as a Christian. She might consider hiring a private investigator. If she doesn't have money, possibly a friend or relative could do this and just get some pictures of it.
However, going out and getting drunk with the guys is plenty enough entertainment for lots of men. They don't need women to have a good time.
Should she be suspicious if he goes bar hopping on weekends w/o his wedding ring and stays out until it's late at night or closing time when he needs to be home with his wife and 3 month old son? Don't know if he goes out every weekend but he goes out enough to where she is concerned about her marriage.
I have no idea if he is cheating or not, I'm sure that has crossed her mind.
At this point, I think Marriage Counseling would be an option and then she can go from there.
My Sister has had some Good times with Ronald and that is why she seems to put up with his nonsense, she is scared, she has a family and she does not want to lose her husband.
She wants those Good Times back.
Most people who get married seem to want to settle down, he apparently does not and has no plan to (That's we've seen) anytime soon.
Love, patience, kindness, goodness.... These are sufficient. Always.
Blessings to you and her and him,
brian
While I usually agree with you Brian...in this case, I absolutely disagree. While she can have all the love, patience, kindness, goodness, etc. towards her spouse and the situation she's in...there is no denying she will be completely miserable (and make her children miserable) as her spouse continues to lie and do God only knows what, while she in not in his presence. It's apparent that the guy doesn't want to be married or tied down in any way so the best possible solution would be to MOVE ON...give him his freedom and in return she will receive hers. There are way too many good men out there, who want a good wife and a family...to waste what little time we are given with a complete LOSER.
This is not to say that he won't come to his senses one day....but, by the time that happens, she may have a new and happy life with someone else by then...and he will be reaping what he sowed.
I guess because she loves him. She is emotionally invested in him, I'd imagine if I was involved with someone for 11 years, I'd be pretty in love too.
This is not love she is feeling (although she may think that)....it sounds more like low self-esteem, desperation and fear of losing something that was never there to begin with...she thinks that she can change him and I'm guaranteeing that she cannot...she just has to come to this realization before she will be able to MOVE ON as she needs to.
While I usually agree with you Brian...in this case, I absolutely disagree. While she can have all the love, patience, kindness, goodness, etc. towards her spouse and the situation she's in...there is no denying she will be completely miserable (and make her children miserable) as her spouse continues to lie and do God only knows what, while she in not in his presence. It's apparent that the guy doesn't want to be married or tied down in any way so the best possible solution would be to MOVE ON...give him his freedom and in return she will receive hers. There are way too many good men out there, who want a good wife and a family...to waste what little time we are given with a complete LOSER.
This is not to say that he won't come to his senses one day....but, by the time that happens, she may have a new and happy life with someone else by then...and he will be reaping what he sowed.
Hi Christy,
I know that America has a strong undercurrent of "do-it-yourself" and "zero-tolerance" in it. But I think that in goodness, kindness, gentleness, humility.. the soul finds God Himself. I think that if she focuses on goodness, she focuses on God, and she will find peace, and then situation will resolve itself. By doing good, we perform worship. By showing love and peace, we are worshipping God. I think God IS these characteristics, and so it's not even possible for her to know God and not do these things.
That's why I wrote that these things (love, goodness, kindness, etc) are sufficient. Sufficient for her and her own personal well-being. Her husband is not in her control, and she acknowledged that in her OP.
Hi Christy,
I know that America has a strong undercurrent of "do-it-yourself" and "zero-tolerance" in it. But I think that in goodness, kindness, gentleness, humility.. the soul finds God Himself. I think that if she focuses on goodness, she focuses on God, and she will find peace, and then situation will resolve itself. By doing good, we perform worship. By showing love and peace, we are worshipping God. I think God IS these characteristics, and so it's not even possible for her to know God and not do these things.
That's why I wrote that these things (love, goodness, kindness, etc) are sufficient. Sufficient for her and her own personal well-being. Her husband is not in her control, and she acknowledged that in her OP.
Blessings,
brian
But God doesn't want anyone to be abused, whether that be emotionally or physically. She's in a bad situation that will only resolve itself when she gains the courage to leave it...and leave it, she must to preserve her own well being.
But God doesn't want anyone to be abused, whether that be emotionally or physically. She's in a bad situation that will only resolve itself when she gains the courage to leave it...and leave it, she must to preserve her own well being.
Of course, if she is being physically abused, she might do well to leave the situation entirely, for her own safety. Of course, it could worsen things, too..
I have to stick with what I posted before. Following good will lead her well, imo..
She's married to an alcoholic, a boor, and a lout.
She needs to document these events, see her pastor, and make peace with leaving him.
He basically went to a Contest where women would be wearing next to nothing. The only reason she found out about it is my brother was at this event as well (He's not a Christian) and had the guts to tell her that he was there.
He's either going to bars because A. He has an alcohol Problem or B. He's messing around on her or it might be a mixture of both. Don't know.
But I think before she decides if she wants to separate (I think this is the next step if marriage counseling will not work out) she needs to go to marriage counseling and see if she can do anything/say anything different that might turn things around.
Choice is up to her on what she wants to do, but I would not be giving him any more chances.
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