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If worse comes to worse, Does she have a Biblical Reason to Divorce him?
(as it stands right now)? (I'll suggest they go to Marriage Counseling first).
She also told me that she has had to tell him a couple of times to quite cussing around their son, His reply was " I can say whatever I want".
There's an old joke that rings very true in a situation like this...
A great flood comes and forces a man onto his roof to avoid being swept away.
A man on a raft floats by and say's "jump on, I'll save you!".
Man on the roof says, that's okay, My Lord and God will save me.
A while later a man in a boat comes by, "jump in my boat, I'll save you!"
Man on the roof says, that's okay, My Lord and God will save me.
Still later, a rescue helicopter flies over, lowers a rescue ladder and the pilot begs the man to go grab hold and come aboard.
Man on the roof says, that's okay, My Lord and God will save me! and motions the helicopter to leave.
Flood waters rise, the whole house goes under. The man on the roof is swept away and drowned
He reaches heaven and when facing God says, My Lord! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME FROM DROWNING?
God shakes his head in amazement at the man's stupidity and simply says,
I sent you a raft, a boat and a helicopter....but you were supposed to do your part and choose to be rescued.
Moral of the story, we have to take personal responsibility for ourselves down here on earth and quit expecting God to do everything for us.
Please relay THAT to your sister and encourage her to take some action to remedy the bad marriage she is in. If it can be repaired and made whole - great. If it can't be, she has an obligation to herself and her child to choose a better life.
I guess because she loves him. She is emotionally invested in him, I'd imagine if I was involved with someone for 11 years, I'd be pretty in love too.
I your OP you mention they have been married for 14 months. Having been "involved" with this guy for 11 years, surely she knew what she was getting into?????
It sounds like a real toxic relationship to me and I really feel for your sister even though she shares a lot of the blame for getting into the situation she is in. I'm not going to offer any advice because I just don't know enough details to be able to. Just know that I pray for her and her family, that things will work out for her and all three of them be blessed by the Lord.
I your OP you mention they have been married for 14 months. Having been "involved" with this guy for 11 years, surely she knew what she was getting into?????
It sounds like a real toxic relationship to me and I really feel for your sister even though she shares a lot of the blame for getting into the situation she is in. I'm not going to offer any advice because I just don't know enough details to be able to. Just know that I pray for her and her family, that things will work out for her and all three of them be blessed by the Lord.
I'm sure she did know some, I don't know if during those 11 years he promised he would change or what. Thank You.
I'm sure she did know some, I don't know if during those 11 years he promised he would change or what.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticPhD
"Promises to change" are the single best predictor of toxic relationships that have little to no chance of successful outcomes.
Getting pregnant and having a child will not change a person, if they do not want to change.
Unfortunately, it sounds like neither of them are very happy.
At this point in time, she has no grounds for divorce. Going out with his buddies and getting drunk does not constitute grounds for divorce. However, if she suspects there are other women involved, and a sexual relationship can be proved, she has grounds for divorce as a Christian. She might consider hiring a private investigator. If she doesn't have money, possibly a friend or relative could do this and just get some pictures of it.
However, going out and getting drunk with the guys is plenty enough entertainment for lots of men. They don't need women to have a good time.
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