[RogerAnthony]

In the district I teach in one of the benchmarks is children know how to write their first name. We take this as they must write it as it is on the birth certificate - not a nickname or a misspelling used by the parents. It's all fine and well to know your nickname, but as they get older they will need to sign their proper name on legal documents.

[seymourct]

Originally Posted by RogerAnthony

In the district I teach in one of the benchmarks is children know how to write their first name. We take this as they must write it as it is on the birth certificate - not a nickname or a misspelling used by the parents. It's all fine and well to know your nickname, but as they get older they will need to sign their proper name on legal documents.

That is unacceptable to benchmark it for weeks and traumatize a child - putting her between her parents and the school!!!!! Without telling me its happening!!! It is my job to teach her name- your job to teach her ABCs and 123s!!!! I had taught her her given name!! She could spell it , write it sing it... But I instructed her to use her diminutive name- as she had for 2 years of preschool . This was NOT the schools job - nor was it their job to disrespect her and I.

Oh. And no kidding she will need to know her legal name ... But not for the stupid school to force it!!!!!!!! Back out of private business!!!!!

I hope you have kids traumatized by by stupid teachers at the age of 5!!! I hope you feel their pain when they are confused and not sleeping at night because writing correctly once was not enough... proving he/she knows it was not enough...embarassing him/her and setting her whole school foundation as adversarial. Forcing her to witness the only way for her sole remaining parent to fix this was to LIE on school forms..... STUPID STUPID STUPID idea to BENCHMARK A BIRTH CERTIFICATE NAME

[Stylo]

Originally Posted by RogerAnthony

It's all fine and well to know your nickname, but as they get older they will need to sign their proper name on legal documents.

Exactly. She's 5.

[JayCT]

I hate to sound unsympathic but I have to side with the school on this one. I have a nickname, My kids do too. But I did and they do have to learn that we also have given names and those are what we use in school. One child actually likes to go by his given name in school rather than his nickname. I realize that this may be hard for a 5 year old to understand but she is growing up and there will be a lot harder things to deal with in her future. Jay

[parentologist]

I had a good friend in college who didn't find out her real name until she went to kgtn, and was taught to write her name - her given name. She thought her nickname (which was unrelated to the given name) was her real name. She is none the worse for the experience.

My daughter has a long, beautiful first name, and a quick, easy nickname. She learned to respond to both, and learned to write the given name in school. None the worse for the experience.

Your child will follow your lead in responding to the school. If you make a federal case out of it, she'll be traumatized. If you say, "Oh, yes, Lucy, your formal name is Lucielle - very beautiful, but a name to grow into. And now you're growing up! You're in kindergarten. You should learn to write your beautiful first name, but your friends can still call you Lucy - you can even ask the teacher to call you Lucy, too, if you like.

Case closed, no trauma, happy kid. It's all in the marketing.

[seymourct]

Originally Posted by JayCT

I hate to sound unsympathic but I have to side with the school on this one. I have a nickname, My kids do too. But I did and they do have to learn that we also have given names and those are what we use in school. One child actually likes to go by his given name in school rather than his nickname. I realize that this may be hard for a 5 year old to understand but she is growing up and there will be a lot harder things to deal with in her future. Jay

Jay - She does not need to go by it in school. She does not need to go by it anywhere except her drivers license, social security card, and marriage license, or when she buys a home or car. All adult things, NOT things for a 5 year old.

And in case you missed it, I've taught her her legal given name, taught her to write it, taught her to spell it, taught her to type it, taught her to sing it, and INSTRUCTED HER NOT TO USE IT at school. I did my job as a parent. It is NOT the school districts job to NAME or parent my child, or tell me what is more proper for my child. Call her what I tell you to call her and teach her the ABCs & 123s.

[seymourct]

Originally Posted by parentologist

You should learn to write your beautiful first name, but your friends can still call you Lucy - you can even ask the teacher to call you Lucy, too, if you like.

Case closed, no trauma, happy kid. It's all in the marketing.

Well, that is what I originally did - TEACH HER HER GIVEN NAME as soon as she recognized words when she was a baby, and taught her to spell it write it sing it and say it at the age of 4, AND told her she did not have to use it, promised her that the teacher would call out loud her what I asked for them to call her, you see it was not just write it, it was say it out loud over and over again, and correct her if she corrected others. Full on disrespect from the school.

[seymourct]

She should never have been told - - NO your are NOT LUCY you are Lucille and Lucille only.

[seymourct]

Originally Posted by JayCT

and there will be a lot harder things to deal with in her future. Jay

She's already had the hardest thing of all...witness her father have 2 attacks, and have him die before she ever had her preschool graduation or 1st dance recital, or get on the bus for the 1st time. She really has been through enough.

[basehead617]

Sorry, but it sounds like you have a lot more going on behind the scenes and you are just taking it out on this teacher.

This kind of overreaction is what causes being a teacher to be a nightmare job a lot of the time. Between stuff like this, imaginary food illnesses and imaginary 'disorders', teachers these days are being asked to be nurses and psychiatrists and to deal with an immense amount of nonsense they shouldn't be required to.

Your child will be fine.. I doubt anyone has ever been traumatized by what name to use.. Confusion about many things is part of growing up.. Overprotection can be just as traumatizing in the long run. Keep in mind she won't have you there forever. It's difficult to raise a child as a single parent, but pick your battles...