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I have narrowed it down to the Orlando area for several reasons. ...
My other option is to accept a friend's offer to live in a month-to-month 1 br apartment ...
Can anyone provide any advice at this point?
Anyway, what do you think of my options?
Nep, obviously you're not me (and vice versa), but several times I have left areas because they started feeling like millstones around my neck. My hot button was freedom of choice, as in making enough to have meaningful choice in my real (e.g., nonwork) life. Your hot button is likely different, nevertheless hot buttons are very hard to ignore, we have that in common.
It seems as if the geography you're in is the problem. Moving to Killingly is not getting you any closer to changing your geography to Orlando, or wherever. Personally, I'd not hunker down in Place A if I had already made up my mind to go to Place B. Seems like a waste of time and energy.
It's your life and you are a rational adult. I can say from experience that every time I upped and left, because I had done my research, I wound up better off by my standards (which are different from yours). It was a PITA, it was draining - but there's something to be said for challenge and response bringing out the best in people.
I didn't know him then, but one of my current colleagues says he wouldn't go to a place unless it had a critical mass of whatever you want to do. If that's work, and you're in finance, then NYC, London and Tokyo are the places to be. If you're in media, the West Coast and London are the places to be. If you're in high tech, you want to be around the Google troika. If you're in manufacturing, you want to be in Guanzhou. Network effects are powerful - if you move somewhere, you want to think about how the h*ll you're going to get out. When you're already in a place with the critical mass of the players in the industry, you have a much easier time landing your next gig. Being anyplace else in a zero growth global economy is being in the provinces. You can be very happy in the provinces once you have an industrywide rep. But you don't get that rep by spending your career there.
When my friend told me this, it was as if somebody had slapped me on the head, it was so obvious - OF COURSE! If you're not feeling the love where you are, you want to go have lunch with the competition across the street. And the company next door. And so forth.
So, wherever you go, you may want to consider the benefit of going to a center of mass for your industry. I understand that Tokyo is quite warm.
In the event THIS center of critical mass starts imploding, I'm driving up to Williston, N.D. and setting up a breakfast/lunch/dinner wagon with killer beef stew at one of the drilling camps. They work 24/7, and it's hungry-making work.
I think you already answered your own question. Orlando will provide you with the best options to meet a potential life partner. In addition, you will be able to lead a better quality of life due to the low cost of living. You've already done the hard part; book your ticket and go.
I've been to Orlando for business a few times (but never for pleasure - no Disneyworld for me) and really didn't like it. Strip mall central, no character, terrible drivers. Felt sprawly, like an east coast LA. Also, too flat. I love good driving roads. Everything is straight and flat. Boring.
If I had to live in a warmer spot it would be Miami, Austin, San Antonio, San Diego. But not Orlando.
In fairness, every time I'm on the road it's a guaranteed 18 hour day. So I never judged the places I went to for work other than by how much of a PITA it was to get from the hotel I was staying in to where I was going and back again. And since I wasn't doing the driving, the traffic didn't even factor.
Unless I made a deliberate and painful attempt to get to know the area, they were all pretty meh. What would you say about CT (or Hartford or Stamford) if all you knew about it is what you observed while you were breezing through for a three day working tour, from the window of a cab? Or from from I-95? Probably not much better than what you're saying about Orlando, lol!
IMHO, Geographic cures work when you exercise intent about why you are going. I'll grant you, it's unusual for competing priorities (career + specific social milieu) to be satisfiable at the same time, and in the same place. Another advantage of being in the center of mass for your industry - the odds are higher in those places because of the network effect. It would be unfortunate to exchange one backwater for another without understanding that you are doing it.
Did you take a look at Miami or FT Lauderdale? Way more fun than Orlando and the beaches are right there. I would imagine there are many opportunities for accountants in a variety of industries as well. If it was me, put me near the water!
Strip mall central, no character, terrible drivers. Felt sprawly, like an east coast LA. Also, too flat. I love good driving roads. Everything is straight and flat. Boring.
It was also disgusting out, humid like a sauna. And it's a haul to get to either coast. What's the point of living in Florida and not being by the beach?
I agree with all of this. I (for the most part) grew up in Connecticut and have had the opportunity to live in several vastly different states due to my work. I took a one year stint in Orlando and got the hell out as soon as I could. However, many people love it so obviously your mileage may vary.
My problems included:
1. The weather. I don't mind hot (I lived in the desert southwest and loved it) but the humidity is gross. May through September pretty much suck in central FL. It feels like you are being smothered by a dirty, hot, wet blanket.
2. Lack of character. There are some areas with charm but they are not the majority. The bulk of the outside of city center Orlando is generic Anytown, USA. The same crappy strip malls, chain restaurants, etc. that you could pick up and plunk down anywhere in the country. These areas exist in every state but are definitely more prevalent in greater Orlando.
3. Tacking on to the crappy chain food...there are some hidden gem places but ethnic food specifically is severely lacking in the area compared to CT.
4. Crime. It is a lot more rampant in what you would think would be quieter suburbs surrounding Orlando.
5. Racist people. There is a definite divide between Spanish speakers and non-Spanish speakers and there are a good portion of the white/non-Spanish speaking population who are very vocal about their displeasure with the Spanish speakers. This is particularly evident around the BVL area.
6. Traffic, zoning, and other logistics not thought out by city planners. It is very obvious Florida grew in a big boom and city planning didn't keep up. Roads weren't designed for the number of cars they get, basic city functions haven't caught up to population in some towns (police, fire, schools, etc.) though this varies widely depending on area.
Just so I am not all negative...I made the most out of my time there. The positives:
1. It is a bit of a haul to get to either coast but it makes for some nice day tripping and weekend excursions.
2. While still humid, December and January in flip flops was pretty awesome (though cold spells can and do happen).
3. Housing is WAY cheaper
4. You will be more hardened to the "cold" and will have the beach to yourself in late summer
Even with the negatives I posted, I think you should go for it. I felt like I should let you know why that area didn't work for me, but it may work out to be just what you needed. If you don't move now, especially with your discontent as of late, you are always going to be "What Iffing" and potentially regret your decision later.
Did you take a look at Miami or FT Lauderdale? Way more fun than Orlando and the beaches are right there. I would imagine there are many opportunities for accountants in a variety of industries as well. If it was me, put me near the water!
I crossed Miami and Ft. Lauderdale off the list because the gay community there is only 20% white. There are more white gays in Orlando than Miami/Ft. Lauderdale. And I'm not interested in men of color. Plus, it's more expensive down there.
I've been to Orlando for business a few times (but never for pleasure - no Disneyworld for me) and really didn't like it. Strip mall central, no character, terrible drivers. Felt sprawly, like an east coast LA. Also, too flat. I love good driving roads. Everything is straight and flat. Boring.
It was also disgusting out, humid like a sauna. And it's a haul to get to either coast. What's the point of living in Florida and not being by the beach?
I will say there were a couple of good restaurants. We ate at 2 that would hold up to restaurants in the tri-state area. Pricey though. I guess they are aimed at special occasion dining for theme park visitors with a little more cash. Their placement would certain suggest that.
Although for every good restaurant, there seems to be 50 lousy ones and every chain in existence.
If I had to live in a warmer spot it would be Miami, Austin, San Antonio, San Diego. But not Orlando.
I have thought about some of those other places. However, I don't want to do San Diego, because it's super far from visiting family in CT, and it's very expensive. I don't want to waste a whole vacation day traveling, switching flights, etc., and never be able to afford a house on my own. I also wrote off Miami because it's overwhelmingly Latino and it's also expensive there. And I would not want to live in Texas because it's a bit too southern cultured for me. At least Florida has a culture similar to that of the Northeast....just a bit more laid back.
Seriously, there is no perfect place. Every place has its fair share of pros and cons. So, I'm willing to accept chain stores, flat land and humidity in exchange for an abundance of gay dating opportunities, affordable housing, warmth and direct flights to CT.
In fairness, every time I'm on the road it's a guaranteed 18 hour day. So I never judged the places I went to for work other than by how much of a PITA it was to get from the hotel I was staying in to where I was going and back again. And since I wasn't doing the driving, the traffic didn't even factor.
Unless I made a deliberate and painful attempt to get to know the area, they were all pretty meh. What would you say about CT (or Hartford or Stamford) if all you knew about it is what you observed while you were breezing through for a three day working tour, from the window of a cab? Or from from I-95? Probably not much better than what you're saying about Orlando, lol!
IMHO, Geographic cures work when you exercise intent about why you are going. I'll grant you, it's unusual for competing priorities (career + specific social milieu) to be satisfiable at the same time, and in the same place. Another advantage of being in the center of mass for your industry - the odds are higher in those places because of the network effect. It would be unfortunate to exchange one backwater for another without understanding that you are doing it.
When I go places for business, it's usually for a 2-3 hour meeting once a day, then I have the whole day and night to explore - which I did. I also have an expense account, so I eat out every meal of the day. I do my research on where to visit, and I just wasn't impressed with Orlando. It seems to exist largely for the theme park tourists. Blah.
I have thought about some of those other places. However, I don't want to do San Diego, because it's super far from visiting family in CT, and it's very expensive. I don't want to waste a whole vacation day traveling, switching flights, etc., and never be able to afford a house on my own. I also wrote off Miami because it's overwhelmingly Latino and it's also expensive there. And I would not want to live in Texas because it's a bit too southern cultured for me. At least Florida has a culture similar to that of the Northeast....just a bit more laid back.
Seriously, there is no perfect place. Every place has its fair share of pros and cons. So, I'm willing to accept chain stores, flat land and humidity in exchange for an abundance of gay dating opportunities, affordable housing, warmth and direct flights to CT.
Isn't Atlanta considered to be "friendly" now? It's a little closer to CT, and far less touristy than Orlando.
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