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Some guys here are just thinking with their dick, but adolescent fantasizes aside - I think it could definitely make a young guy develop a Norman Bates complex - he should be dating HS girls his own age, not sleeping with women nearly old enough to be his mom.
People should be in relationships with whom they wish to be in a relationship with, not who others think they should be.
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Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels
Are you saying that if you've read books on the subject of childhood sexual abuse that you understand it the same way someone who actually experienced it would? Was Mary Kay sexually attracted to a 12 year old boy? Yes, she was. The definition of "pedophile" is, "A person who is sexually attracted to children." She started her sexual liaison with him when he was 12 years old. She is a child molester since she actually acted upon her desires.
If a 12 year old said, "You know, I don't think I belong in school. I'm going to quit. I know what's best for me." people would freak out. A 12 year can't quit school! It's illegal and he needs an education! But a 12 year old "deciding" to have sex with a 30+ year old woman is "okay?" Even though he can't possibly know the long term consequences? There's a reason we have laws in place to protect children. This woman who was supposed to be teaching her students instead used the classroom as a dating opportunity. Now she'd like the public to conveniently forget this since time has passed and they're still together. It does not negate the fact that she preyed upon a child.
Iaskwhy answers all the issues you raise, but here is one of the great dichotomies of all time.
A 12 year old girl who is pregnant can walk into any abortion clinic in California and get an abortion on demand without any consent or involvement of her parents or any other adult.
Does she understand the long term consequences? Where are the laws in place to protect children like this?
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Originally Posted by Iaskwhy
I am saying that your argument is a logical fallacy. Someone who extensively studies the subject can certainly know more about it than someone who has subjectively lived through the experience. Does an oncologist know more about cancer than their cancer patient? I would certainly say so, even if the doctor has not had cancer themselves.
Pedophilia is generally limited to people who are attracted to prepubescent children, as far as I know Vili certainly wasn't prepubescent. He was 13 when the sexual relationship started. That is beyond the cutoff for pedophilia.
Education is completely unrelated from this. Should a 13 year old be allowed to have sex with other people their age legally? If it shouldn't be legal, should it be prosecuted when it does occur? What about 14, 15 or 16? If a 13 year old should be allowed to have sex with someone their own age, why not those who are older? Why is that relevant? If Mary Kay was 18 would this have been okay to you?
The 12 year old who gets an abortion does NOT know the long term consequences. It's unfortunate that the 12 year old doesn't have the luxury of time to ponder the consequences.
A 13 year old having sex with another 13 year old doesn't present the same power imbalance. If Mary Kay had been 18 AND his teacher, no, it's not okay. It's illegal. A thirty something year old teacher has no business, under any circumstances, having "sexual relations" with a twelve year old. (Or 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.) A teacher is there to teach. Anything other than that is a betrayal of trust.
So using your logic, a college professor that has relations with a student or a boss that has sex with an employee should be imprisoned because of the power inbalance? This is all irrelevant because as far as I know, they started their sexual relationship during the summer when she was no longer his teacher.
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Also, having gone through sexual abuse myself, many times, in fact, as opposed to JUST reading about it, I do think I know more about the subject than a person who has simply educated themselves. Not only have I experienced the emotions and the long term effects of sexual abuse, I've taken it upon myself to learn how to help others who experienced similar abuse. I know what I went through and I can empathize with others about what they're going through currently.
I'm sorry you went through sexual abuse. However, not everyone reacts to things the same way, what is abuse to one person simply isn't to another. I maintain that sex with a prepubescent minor is VERY different than sex with a minor that is consenting that is going through puberty or has gone through puberty.
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An oncologist is certainly going to be knowledgeable about cancer. However, that same oncologist could read every book ever written on the subject of childhood sexual abuse and still only be able to *imagine* what it would be like to be betrayed by an adult who is supposed to protect you. That oncologist can know what he or she has read in a book, but it's not the same as having been through it. I can read about climbing Mt. Everest and imagine what it would be like. It's not the same as actually experiencing it.
I am discussing an oncologists understanding of cancer not sexual abuse. It was an analogy. An oncologist knows more about cancer than the vast majority, if not all, of their patients even if they have never had cancer themselves. I wonder with people that feel they have been sexually abused how much of their trauma is due to the reactions of the people around them as opposed to the actions themselves.
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Anyway, I think I've made myself abundantly clear and I really don't have the desire to interact with people who think that adults having sex with children is okay. It is troubling to me and I prefer to not keep trying to explain why it's not okay.
A discussion forum is probably not the place for you if you cannot handle hearing opposing opinions.
I'm not really sure what she even looks like. I don't see how it's relevant.
It's absolutely relevant. Who are we kidding? If some 13-year-old is getting it on with an older woman who looks like a war pig, who among his friends is going to be high-fiving him and saying, "I wish I could have had some of that"?
It's always when the woman is hot that all the guys are saying that they would have done the same, if they'd had the chance.
Although I find it completely unacceptable that she had sex with him underage, now he's own adult perfectly capable of making his own choices. Why are people on here babying him?
No one is babying him. We are saying, from a knowledge of abuse victims, that he probably did not make this decision from a healthy place.
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Originally Posted by ohhwanderlust
As for how sad it is that he's being manipulated and in an unhealthy marriage ....um, story of every other person's life.
It certainly is. From 200000 years ago, the begining of modern humans, until certainly the middle ages if not more recently it would have been the norm for a girl to first get pregnant shortly after they reached menarche.
Is that healthy?
We did many, many, many things for great spans of time that weren't healthy or fair.
Still curious as to what cultures engaged in this kind of thing. The reason Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was so popular, was due, in part, to the ages of the main characters.
But yet in CA 12,000 underaged girls get pregnant every year. That is 12,000 rapes of children "not emotionally mature enough to engage in a healthy sexual relationship", but there are no prosecutions for these rapes. Since there are no prosecutions there are no statutory rape laws de facto.
There should be if those girls are being impregnated by adults.
It's absolutely relevant. Who are we kidding? If some 13-year-old is getting it on with an older woman who looks like a war pig, who among his friends is going to be high-fiving him and saying, "I wish I could have had some of that"?
It's always when the woman is hot that all the guys are saying that they would have done the same, if they'd had the chance.
If my friends hook up with an ugly chick their age I'm not going to be high fiving them either. It doesn't make an ounce of difference whether it should be legal or not.
He's been tied to his abuser for 20 years. He's never had a chance to heal, seek the appropriate therapy. It's completely disgusting and I feel so sorry for him.
I love GMA, but MKL destroyed Vili's life and I hate that this abuse is being glorified as some sort of accomplishment because it's gone on for 20 years. He's an adult now, yes, but he's never been able to get away from his abuser.
This whole thing is pathetic. Barbara Walters is sick.
LeT, stole that boys childhood and all his potential is totally unfulfilled because she is a manipulative sexual deviant degenerate she wolf who is mentally immature to be on the same level as a "real man." Villi was passive child instead of a 31year old man. She stunted his emotional maturity.
As soon as LeT gets menses she is going to shrivel up and there goes her hold on him.
Barbra Walters is the most disgusting reptile with her slobbering, panting, questions of purient interest.
Her controlled voice and controlled demeanor belies a raging lunatic deviant. I can 't watch her for more than 2 minutes. She is one big walking barf/wind bag and a huge eyesore.
I don't think it is more or less heathy than having sex, for reasons other than children, at any age. Do I think it is good for children to have parental responsibilities and do I think they make good parents in this day and age? No, absolutely not, but I also don't think it is good when people are younger than 25 or so either and I also don't think they make good parents. I don't think stupid people make good parents either. However, none of this is my business to legislate. In the case when pregnancy doesn't occur and both participants consented, I see no victim. The only victim would be a potential child but I don't think the child is anymore likely to be a victim of this situation than if the parents were stupid or the parents were 18.
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We did many, many, many things for great spans of time that weren't healthy or fair.
Very true, but you have provide a logical reason as to why this isn't healthy or fair.
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Still curious as to what cultures engaged in this kind of thing. The reason Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was so popular, was due, in part, to the ages of the main characters.
Every single culture that existed until about 1000 years ago, how is that for starters?
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If some 13-year-old is getting it on with an older woman who looks like a war pig, who among his friends is going to be high-fiving him and saying, "I wish I could have had some of that"? 
that says it all.............
