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I agree if you're talking about a busy place like a mall, but I don't think holding a five or six year old child by the hand is always necessary out in public. Say a parent takes a child to a park -- does he/she sit on a bench and watch the kid play, or let the kid have some time bonding with peers, meeting other children, and getting a first taste of safe independence? One of the principle tasks a five year old needs to be learning from a child development perspective is how to be his/her own person. It's a part of developing healthy attachments with the caregiver. Helicopter parenting interferes with that process - and there's a lot of that going around these days. Like I said, you have to know your own children: I was a kid who stayed close to my parents, and if anyone had approached me I would have screamed bloody murder. My stepdaughter was the same at that age. Other kids may need more attention.
Of course. That's sensible and normal. You seem scarred by an overly-protective-parent experience. I wonder if other helicoptered kids feel as you do. It would be a good topic for mental-health-care research. I think the psycho-therapeutic community is just now struggling to get caught up with this phenomenon, and its effects on patients.
I'm still puzzled, as to how this extreme helicoptering came about as a major trend in parenting. Was there a how-to-parent book that came out 30 years ago, that caught some people's attention? The Millennials I know weren't raised that way.
Update:
“After the boy went through a 5-hour MRI —Doctors said they found no brain damage - not even any swelling. ... No spinal damage, no nerve damage...doctors are saying it is truly a miracle." - Cities 97.1
Also noted: the boy had suffered some small internal injuries, including a good amount of broken bones, but none of the injuries were considered to be life-threatening.
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(This is the news that matters right now. Blah, blah, blah to most of the rest of the discussion here. Way too much judging and speculation.)
Of course. That's sensible and normal. You seem scarred by an overly-protective-parent experience. I wonder if other helicoptered kids feel as you do. It would be a good topic for mental-health-care research. I think the psycho-therapeutic community is just now struggling to get caught up with this phenomenon, and its effects on patients.
I'm still puzzled, as to how this extreme helicoptering came about as a major trend in parenting. Was there a how-to-parent book that came out 30 years ago, that caught some people's attention? The Millennials I know weren't raised that way.
In my case, it was my mother's neuroticism and anxiety, not the result of a particular book. The wider phenomenon probably has a number of causes - there was a point at which parents became convinced their kids would "fail" in life if they didn't get in the right preschool (there was one in the upscale suburb I moved from named "Creme de la Creme"). This is ridiculous. I didn't spend all summer in school, we didn't have preschool, and not many kids went to kindergarten back in the 1950s. I entered first grade with an eighth grade reading level, and have multiple Master's degrees - looks like not going to preschool or kindergarten and summers spent playing rather than studying didn't make me a "failure". Yet somehow parents became convinced that their kids needed to be constantly looked after to make sure they succeed. What I got was, "Hey dad, how do I get into college?" "I don't know, go to the library and see if they know".
Of course. That's sensible and normal. You seem scarred by an overly-protective-parent experience. I wonder if other helicoptered kids feel as you do. It would be a good topic for mental-health-care research. I think the psycho-therapeutic community is just now struggling to get caught up with this phenomenon, and its effects on patients.
I'm still puzzled, as to how this extreme helicoptering came about as a major trend in parenting. Was there a how-to-parent book that came out 30 years ago, that caught some people's attention? The Millennials I know weren't raised that way.
The disappearance and murder of Adam Walsh from a Florida mall is one high-profile marker along the way to "Stranger Danger" that grew in the '80s and into the '90s:
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Originally Posted by WoodburyWoody
The disappearance and murder of Adam Walsh from a Florida mall is one high-profile marker along the way to "Stranger Danger" that grew in the '80s and into the '90s:
After that, there were books, made-for-TV movies, TV series, the Missing Children and Missing Children’s Assistance Acts of 1982 and 1984, etc.
There were a lot of businesses that were spawned on convincing the American public that a stranger snatching their child was a significant risk.
The milk carton ads, various agencies who created identity kits for children if they were snatched (I guess DNA and fingerprints, etc.), for-pay classes you can take about stranger danger, and as you say, lots of media.
The statistic I can find on the internet (slightly different from the Klass stat) says about 65 kids are snatched by strangers a year in the US.
Not a stat that should make us walk around in public holding on to our children at all times. (Unless they're the fairly rare kind of child who purposely darts off to escape the parent).
I'm still curious how all these hand holders in public, 100% of the time, do this taking their kids to the playground, pool, school... you name it. How? The second you let go somebody might grab your kid and there is nothing you can do about it. ...but wait...you never let go....right?
But this goes back to how I was raised and when. I grew up in the 80's. I know those of you , mostly Gen X ers know what I'm talking about. The things we did...
My son is 12 and has walked to school by himself for the last 2.5 years.
Figures some people blame the mother. I guess people feel that children should be held tightly every single second of their lives to prevent a murder from doing something nuts. Throwing a kid off a balcony is insanely rare. I think I would let my kid have a little freedom instead of preparing for a lightning strike. There is no blame on the mother here. The blame is on the murderer, or in this case the man that tried to kill a little kid.
I'm still curious how all these hand holders in public, 100% of the time, do this taking their kids to the playground, pool, school... you name it. How? The second you let go somebody might grab your kid and there is nothing you can do about it. ...but wait...you never let go....right?
But this goes back to how I was raised and when. I grew up in the 80's. I know those of you , mostly Gen X ers know what I'm talking about. The things we did...
My son is 12 and has walked to school by himself for the last 2.5 years.
I was talking specifically about crowded places -- malls, stadiums, Times Square, etc.
I was talking specifically about crowded places -- malls, stadiums, Times Square, etc.
Did you know that most malls have children's play area where parents sit and watch there kids play while they talk to friends, play with their phones, working on their lap tops...you name it. They are not gated or secured or anything. Dad might have to attend to the younger sibling and turn their head/back for a minute, and some crazy person might run in to the play area and grab his other kid.
In a football stadium you might be standing in line to get a hot dog and while dad is pulling up his wallet to take his credit card out, somebody might see that as an opportunity to grab his kid. Or maybe, some kid see a cool looking toy in the grocery store and let go of moms hand, run over there and mom is trying her best to catch up but...it might be too late.
My point is....NOBODY will be able to monitor their kids every move, hold their hands at all times. And in certain areas, like outside a kids friendly restaurant, in a shopping mall full of families...these places are suppose to be "safe" areas for families with small children. Of course you should keep an eye on your child, but again, you can never predict when somebody is out to kill your family just because they feel like it. That can happen anywhere no matter how hard you hold their hand.
I think one of the places where I hold my daughters hand without letting go, is when I ride the subway, or when we are standing on the platform waiting for the subway to arrive. Or when we are walking on a narrow sidewalk next to busy traffic for instance.
Did you know that most malls have children's play area where parents sit and watch there kids play while they talk to friends, play with their phones, working on their lap tops...you name it. They are not gated or secured or anything. Dad might have to attend to the younger sibling and turn their head/back for a minute, and some crazy person might run in to the play area and grab his other kid.
In a football stadium you might be standing in line to get a hot dog and while dad is pulling up his wallet to take his credit card out, somebody might see that as an opportunity to grab his kid. Or maybe, some kid see a cool looking toy in the grocery store and let go of moms hand, run over there and mom is trying her best to catch up but...it might be too late.
My point is....NOBODY will be able to monitor their kids every move, hold their hands at all times. And in certain areas, like outside a kids friendly restaurant, in a shopping mall full of families...these places are suppose to be "safe" areas for families with small children. Of course you should keep an eye on your child, but again, you can never predict when somebody is out to kill your family just because they feel like it. That can happen anywhere no matter how hard you hold their hand.
I think one of the places where I hold my daughters hand without letting go, is when I ride the subway, or when we are standing on the platform waiting for the subway to arrive. Or when we are walking on a narrow sidewalk next to busy traffic for instance.
I understand this.
Again, my post was in response to some who said specifically that kindergarten-aged kids do not need to have their hands held in public, and that the idea of holding their hands in the mall is almost ridiculous.
I replied that I prefer to hold their hands when walking in crowded places.
If anything, it's more to keep us from getting separated/lost in the crowds.
I am NOT placing ANY blame whatsoever on the mother, as I do not think she did anything wrong at all.
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Blah, blah, blah to most of the rest of the discussion here. Way too much judging and speculation.)
