Delaware: How does it compare to other states? (cabinets, living in)

[doctorjef]

I don't want to get into a debate about it, but ISTM that the sordid Bradley affair had to do with a local professional culture that protected its own and turned a blind eye - passively colluding in ongoing abuse much in the way that some mothers passively collude in the sexual abuse of their children - rather than with political culture per se. There are a couple of disturbing things about the Bradley matter, apart from the grotesque damage done to the victims themselves. One is the apparent backwardness of a medical culture anywhere in this state that seemed to be behaving according to standards that have been archaic many other places for the last thirty or forty years. The other is the particular locus of this atrocity in small town Delaware, a place where other persons arguably violated mandatory reporting laws because they didn't want to rock the boat in respect to a local pediatrician who represented a unique local "resource" (grotesque to put it that way, I know, but I'm not being ironic or sarcastic -- it's important to understand that this is the way Bradley was apparently seen, hence accounting for the degree of protection afforded him). Note: I say that others arguably violated mandatory reporting laws, because we can't be absolutely sure about who suspected or knew what, but from the accounts I've read, such mandatory reporting laws were almost surely violated by some members of the professional healthcare community. In the end, I'm afraid this is part of a particular type of small town culture, rather than something intrinsic to Delaware. In that sense, I guess we might say that Delaware in parts is no different to demographically similar areas elsewhere in America.

[nuts2uiam]

I did post earlier regarding our move and the permit issues, but I must say there are many things I do enjoy about NY. I love our beaches, and despite trying, I can't get used to turning away from the water watching the waves lap the sand and facing into the sun "backwards". I guess being a Long Islander I take facing the water and the sun for granted. We enjoy easy access to 3 airports all within 25 miles of our home, and easy commute into NYC. So while it is far from all bad, we have agreed that De. is where we want to be - I love the change of season and I could never be a Florida resident all year round. Way too hot in the summer - the endless summer, if you ask me. It depends upon where in Florida, but as I said , I love all 4 seasons. Some how Christmas at 55 degrees and not even a chill is depressing for me. That said, we are all different and that is why life is always filled with mew friends and challenges. De. here we come...counting the days til we put the house up in the spring. (Provided , of course I get the permits with our bankrupting us.)

[jtees4]

Originally Posted by Charley

Thanks so much. Good luck with yours as well. I'm also ready today - but my wife has one more year of work to complete before she can retire.

We know exactly where we're going ---> to Magnolia in 404 days ... assuming I find a buyer that fits into my very well-researched, carefully considered and very detailed plans ... lol. (Obviously, there's lot's of room for flexibility, but right now, the perfect plan has us moving 404 days from now, not that I'm counting, you understand. )

I don't think I will end up that far south...but I can't say for sure yet. I have looked from Newark to Middletown. Going back in a few weeks. It's possible I will even buy this year and move next year the way prices are right now, if the right deal were to come along. I want to be closer to the North because we will still be making plenty of trips to NY, and also DC (where my son is).

[doctorjef]

OK, here's another way DE is different from most other states and maybe from all other states. DE is both so small in territory and in population that huge numbers of people know one another and have known one another since childhood. My partner and I like to compare Delaware with Lithuania, where this is also true to some extent (less so, because LT has 3 mil people and is about the size of South Carolina, but it's still a strong cultural factor there, where everyone seems to be connected by someone else within two degrees of separation). Seems like everyone you meet in DE - at least natives or long-term transplants at least know someone that knows someone that you know -- that sort of thing. It's like a small town or smallish city, but operating on the level of an entire state. It may be, of course, that this is an over-generalisation and that close association is somewhat more regionally defined in DE than what I've described above. Still, it's quite striking in comparison to other places I've lived, even in smaller cities in Colorado and Texas.

[DelawareLiz]

Agree with doctorjef's post above. It's certainly true. I have found that I am literally related to half this state by blood on my father's side; I quit counting "by marriage" kin because that's not a blood relation (obviously). O.k., so half the state may be an exaggeration, but it seems that every day I find a new relative. If I hear somebody's family is from Wilmington, Smyrna, Milford, or Lewes, then the "Hey, do you know...." questions begin.

I just found out a co-worker and I share the same great-grandparents. Luckily, I have NOT found common kinfolk between my husband and I--whew!!

[James420]

Originally Posted by beachliz

Agree with doctorjef's post above. It's certainly true. I have found that I am literally related to half this state by blood on my father's side; I quit counting "by marriage" kin because that's not a blood relation (obviously). O.k., so half the state may be an exaggeration, but it seems that every day I find a new relative. If I hear somebody's family is from Wilmington, Smyrna, Milford, or Lewes, then the "Hey, do you know...." questions begin.

I just found out a co-worker and I share the same great-grandparents. Luckily, I have NOT found common kinfolk between my husband and I--whew!!

So what if he's yer cousin. Lower Delaware's close enough to the south for me. Not to start that debate again. Hahahahh.

Sorry girl, it was my laugh at your expense.

I rescued mine from Claymont, you rescued yours from Seaford. Heck they're probably related.

BTW, does he still represent Seaford if someone talks bad about it? My wife snaps when people rip Claymont.

[rdlr]

Our criteria, was 1st....we must marry somebody from HERE (anyplace in Delaware would be fine). Didn't want any problems with a foreigner and their "strange" ways.

So true, DrJ - Everybody knows everybody. And, everybody I know, knows who's NOT from here.

[doctorjef]

Were you not allowed to marry Eastern Shore Marylanders?

[rdlr]

Originally Posted by doctorjef

Were you not allowed to marry Eastern Shore Marylanders?

Oh, gosh, no.
There were a a couple of girls in high school who sneaked out with some Galena boys, but they were hard as nails. Everybody we're friends with married somebody from John Bassett Moore High School (Smyrna), except 2 who married Dover High School guys. And....except 1, who went "all the way up to Middletown" and fell in love! I will say, the 6 kids who went to other states to college (from my class) we never heard from again. They all died before they were 30. We still all get together at local dances, and it's never planned. We just mostly all show up because we enjoy the same places, bands and people. That would be the high school classes of 1957, 1958, 1959, and 1960.

[DelawareLiz]

James--LOL!! Nah, he doesn't get upset if somebody rags on Seaford; he hated the place, even calls it "the hood". He's much happier here in Ocean View . However, he was basically ostracized by his family when he left, as nobody in his family EVER left Seaford. Most of his family was actually from Blades, which is VERY, very backwoodsy. They don't care for me either; I'm the one who "stole him from Seaford"--HA!!

Nope, I doubt we're related because we both have different heritage--thank goodness!! He's Native American and Irish and I'm Welsh/French and Italian.

rdlr--my first husband was from northeastern Pennsylvania. He lives here at the beach and has for many years though. He was PA Dutch so he wasn't "city" at all, but I broke the rule by marrying an outsider. No wonder he's an ex, huh? LOL!! Just joking around. And I LOVE the PA Dutch and Amish culture both here and in PA. Love their food as well!