Non diabetics lack of understanding (diet, eat, sugar, work)
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I found myself in a situation where I have had to move in with family for awhile. I lost my pension quite suddenly and without any warning, so I have moved in with my Sister and Brother-In-Law. It has been a huge adjustment to accept having to do this. I'm sure it is for them also, and I try to stay out of their way as much as I can. Though I love them dearly I hesitated doing this, but I had no choice.
They have been wonderful and very kind but there is a problem when it comes to meals. I really only eat an evening meal with them. They work full time and I'm out looking for a part time job, since Social Security only allows me to earn so much now. So the problem is I rather prepare my own meals since I can't eat like they do. I don't think they want people cooking at different times in the evening. There is a lot of evening ice cream and sweets and just plain junk. They seem hurt if I don't eat with them, and they have some good meals but not always. I might add thru the years I have noticed both of them, seem to have no real sympathy for a Diabetic and food. I finally told my brother-in-law yesterday when he wanted me to come and eat pasta, texas toast, fried potatoes, heavy meat sauce. I said I can't I ate pasta yesterday and its just to many carbs for me. He seemed hurt and told my sister so. I certainly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I can't eat like they do. My brother-in-law is very overweight and under a doctors care for it. My sister was the same with my parents who were both Diabetics. Always bringing ice cream and cookies to them. I honestly wonder how people so wonderful can come across as so lacking in caring for a person that is under strick diet control.
It is wonderful being able to stay here for awhile until I can find affordable housing, but I don't know how to live with Non Diabetics that just don't seem to understand. I'm certainly not trying to change their meal routine. Again Id rather just eat my own meals but its not my kitchen. So what to do without hurting their feelings and stay on my routine I have had for decades.
I found myself in a situation where I have had to move in with family for awhile. I lost my pension quite suddenly and without any warning, so I have moved in with my Sister and Brother-In-Law. It has been a huge adjustment to accept having to do this. I'm sure it is for them also, and I try to stay out of their way as much as I can. Though I love them dearly I hesitated doing this, but I had no choice.
They have been wonderful and very kind but there is a problem when it comes to meals. I really only eat an evening meal with them. They work full time and I'm out looking for a part time job, since Social Security only allows me to earn so much now. So the problem is I rather prepare my own meals since I can't eat like they do. I don't think they want people cooking at different times in the evening. There is a lot of evening ice cream and sweets and just plain junk. They seem hurt if I don't eat with them, and they have some good meals but not always. I might add thru the years I have noticed both of them, seem to have no real sympathy for a Diabetic and food. I finally told my brother-in-law yesterday when he wanted me to come and eat pasta, texas toast, fried potatoes, heavy meat sauce. I said I can't I ate pasta yesterday and its just to many carbs for me. He seemed hurt and told my sister so. I certainly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I can't eat like they do. My brother-in-law is very overweight and under a doctors care for it. My sister was the same with my parents who were both Diabetics. Always bringing ice cream and cookies to them. I honestly wonder how people so wonderful can come across as so lacking in caring for a person that is under strick diet control.
It is wonderful being able to stay here for awhile until I can find affordable housing, but I don't know how to live with Non Diabetics that just don't seem to understand. I'm certainly not trying to change their meal routine. Again Id rather just eat my own meals but its not my kitchen. So what to do without hurting their feelings and stay on my routine I have had for decades.
That's a tough situation, JimRob, I feel for you. As a diabetic myself, I don't like to eat with people other than my husband. People don't understand or really care, even one's own family. My husband's family is full of diabetics, obese people, and all sorts of health problems, but they eat total junk. They live out of state, and recently my husband (who eats healthy because of me) went for just a 5 day trip back "home" to see them. He came back completely bloated and had gained like 10 POUNDS from consuming crap....
You just have to do the best you can do, like you are doing. Don't let them make you feel "guilty" - you will just have to keep repeating that you are diabetic, and are restricted as to what you can eat, so you prefer to make your own meals. Hopefully you can get some extra money soon so you can have your own place again.
That's a tough situation, JimRob, I feel for you. As a diabetic myself, I don't like to eat with people other than my husband. People don't understand or really care, even one's own family. My husband's family is full of diabetics, obese people, and all sorts of health problems, but they eat total junk. They live out of state, and recently my husband (who eats healthy because of me) went for just a 5 day trip back "home" to see them. He came back completely bloated and had gained like 10 POUNDS from consuming crap....
You just have to do the best you can do, like you are doing. Don't let them make you feel "guilty" - you will just have to keep repeating that you are diabetic, and are restricted as to what you can eat, so you prefer to make your own meals. Hopefully you can get some extra money soon so you can have your own place again.
Good luck to you!
Thanks Gypsychic. Yes your right. Just do the best I can. I feel the same way. I don't really like to eat with people that are not Diabetics. Especially if they are into eating a lot of junk all the time.
Can you eat your most substantial meal during the day while they are working so that you can 'coast through' the evening meal they cook, perhaps eating just small amounts of the best choices?
Obviously, you have to simply politely refuse the snacks.
Do you think if you gave them some piece of literature, just a folder or small pamphlet, that explained why diabetics cannot eat certain foods, etc. that they would accept it and read it without being offended? Obviously, given your situation, you do not want to make things more difficult.
I had a friend whose husband was a diabetic, and I was amazed to learn that even though both her kids were in their late teens, she had never instructed them on what to do if their father went into shock...or even why he might. And then, of course, one night the SHTF and the 18-year-son was clueless as to what it was all about. Fortunately, his mother was home and asleep and he ran and woke her up. Otherwise....?
The short-sightedness and the wilful lack of interest/awareness of people never fails to amaze me.
Nothing in your post, and I read it 3 times, said you sat down with them and explained your illness and what steps you have to do to control it. Factually.
It was all about their being overweight, junk food, not wanting to eat with them, etc. A lot of judgment on your part too. It is their house, kitchen, refrigerator, dining room table, and their decision on what they eat for themselves. I am almost positive they are just trying to be good hosts to someone who unexpectedly is living with them. Food is an important part of this for many people. If it is hard for you to eat with them because you don't want to be around a lot of food, let them know it is not their company but the presence of food and maybe you can have a cup of tea or coffee after dinner and talk about the day or something to make them feel better.
Since they are caring people, give them a lesson (brochure good too) about what diabetes means to you and your current and future health and what you need to eat/exercise to be stable. Leave their weight and their eating out of it. That is their responsibility. Don't expect them to change their lifestyle just because you are a lodger.
Can you eat your most substantial meal during the day while they are working so that you can 'coast through' the evening meal they cook, perhaps eating just small amounts of the best choices?
Obviously, you have to simply politely refuse the snacks.
Actually this is what I ended up doing almost immediately. Thanks
Do you think if you gave them some piece of literature, just a folder or small pamphlet, that explained why diabetics cannot eat certain foods, etc. that they would accept it and read it without being offended? Obviously, given your situation, you do not want to make things more difficult.
I had a friend whose husband was a diabetic, and I was amazed to learn that even though both her kids were in their late teens, she had never instructed them on what to do if their father went into shock...or even why he might. And then, of course, one night the SHTF and the 18-year-son was clueless as to what it was all about. Fortunately, his mother was home and asleep and he ran and woke her up. Otherwise....?
The short-sightedness and the wilful lack of interest/awareness of people never fails to amaze me.
Good luck to you on all fronts, by the way.
I've explained it to them the best I can. It just seems to go over them most of the time Especially my Brother-in-Law. Now and then my sister will offer something sugar free.
Nothing in your post, and I read it 3 times, said you sat down with them and explained your illness and what steps you have to do to control it. Factually.
It was all about their being overweight, junk food, not wanting to eat with them, etc. A lot of judgment on your part too. It is their house, kitchen, refrigerator, dining room table, and their decision on what they eat for themselves. I am almost positive they are just trying to be good hosts to someone who unexpectedly is living with them. Food is an important part of this for many people. If it is hard for you to eat with them because you don't want to be around a lot of food, let them know it is not their company but the presence of food and maybe you can have a cup of tea or coffee after dinner and talk about the day or something to make them feel better.
Since they are caring people, give them a lesson (brochure good too) about what diabetes means to you and your current and future health and what you need to eat/exercise to be stable. Leave their weight and their eating out of it. That is their responsibility. Don't expect them to change their lifestyle just because you are a lodger.
I've been a Diabetic most of my life as were my parents. So my sister who is a Healthcare professional for some 27 years now, has definitely been exposed to Diabetics and what life is for them. I noticed when we were young there didn't seem to be any comprehension. That life was different for my parents and myself on this issue. Now that we are older adults it's still is the same way. Just no real thought process that the Diabetic has to live life differently. I had to tell her several times when my parents were getting sick before they died. That I did not want her to bring cake and pastries to them. It fell on deaf ears and I could not understand, because she is so caring and in healthcare.
I don't believe it is a lack of knowledge. I believe it is a lack of empathy concerning family members and Diabetes. I don't know how to explain that, I just noticed she has always offered a lot of sweets to the Diabetics in my immediate family. She seems bored and turned off if I mentioned I have to count carbs each day. It's part of why I hesitated staying here until I got an apt
. It may make me sound ungrateful, but I'm not. I'm being realistic and I certainly don't avoid them. I just can't eat a diet as they do, and there is nothing ungrateful about that. I am on a waiting list for senior housing and evidently I'm told it will be some time. So I make the most of it. I worry about my health and I certainly don't tell them about their own health. Although I'm well aware because my sister has told me. That the doctor is concerned that my brother-in-law takes no interest in his diet and or exercise. He had to be put on diet pills which he has decided not to take.
Thanks for your comments.
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