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Location: Back in Melbourne.....home of road rage and aggression
402 posts, read 1,159,984 times
Reputation: 526
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
Reading the comments won't help.
Have you seen some of these horrible,nasty comments?
Well......that's exactly right jerseygal4u.
The thing about people that hate fat people, is that no matter what fat people do, the haters will just keep hating.....because fat people can do nothing right. They can not win. D@mned if they do, d@mned if they don't. Nothing is ever good enough......the haters can not be made happy.
And people wonder why fat people will buy into every hopeful gimic--because they're desperate to be allowed to just exist without having to defend every breath, justify every second in society, and who knows, this crazya$$ thing might just be the thing that works. I know that's how I felt. You don't have to accept somebody to just let them be.
But I'll tell you what--if fat people actually started doing things (because most of the time they're very non-confrontational) like sitting on or rolling over the people that make fun, shout names, shovel out abuse (because isn't that always the great fear? that the fat person will squash them?) there'd maybe be a lot less of it. Sort of like, an armed society is a polite society. Start doing all the things the haters are soooooo scared of and maybe they'll all **** for a change.
ladyklo i have to agree with you, i was at my highest at 200 and i felt ugly and nasty so i decided to eat healthier and started going to the gym, now that i lost the weight i feel better than i have ever felt. but i have to agree the food cost is alittle more expensive and i see my self going to the store more for veggies and fruits. but its well worth spent than going to the drive thru for hamburgers and fries...
It's out of fashion to be fat pretty much the world over. Get on a good diet thar will.help you to slim down to your ideal weight, whatever that is. One that I have been reading about lately is called Dukan diet. A book should hit stores mid April.
...and apparently visually assaulting non-fat people because they're out there being fat at them.
Why is it perfectly acceptable to make baseless assumptions about fat people, but not about thin people?
That was one of the greatest posts I have read in a while. I enjoyed every line of it.
Now...where I am coming from is perfectly OK to make baseless assumptions about both fat people and skinny people.
It's a culture of judging!
Both my mother and my father have some sort of inherent revulsion towards skinny blondes usually of anglo-saxon origins - particularly when they are 40+, with a dried-up, skinny face and flaunting their 21 yo anorexic bodies.
She doesn't live in an anglo country so that makes things less problematic for her. But when she comes here they simply can't help showing her dislike/disdain/revulsion towards that type of female. I have had to tell my mom to take it down a notch because she really looks ugly at those women and others might actually notice.
It is certainly not envy because she is still considered a beautiful woman at her age; but in my culture, beautiful women are ...well...like Monica Bellucci. Not dried-up, blonde, bony, skinny and living at the gym .
They need to look like they're having a life and like they're enjoying every moment of it. Brunette, hot, voluptuous, all around desirable.
Not tortured by self-imposed restrictions and Puritanical uptightness.
Full to downright fat can be perfectly gorgeous after 40, especially if the face is beautiful.
I told my mom that science says that "skinny" is generally healthier and that skinny people live longer, on average, but she doesn't care.
She still hates that prototype and when she sees one, she starts out with the assumption that it is an obnoxious person...and why are they so "dried up" and why do they look so vacuous anyway?
Just to show you, if that's any consolation, that prejudice and resentment comes in many shapes and forms.
No doubt, of course time, gravity and other things will take their toll on EVERYTHING. For everybody. Yes, even thin people.
On the face, it takes more of a toll on skinny people. Sooner.
All skinny people of a certain age I know show wrinkles and skin folds on the face much more than fuller people of the same age or even much older.
That being said, such cosmetic considerations are no reason for staying full/fat. I'd rather keep some nice bio-markers late in life than have fewer wrinkles and folds.
On the other hand, fat makes most people look more mature, matronly, if wrinkle-less.
How tall is the original poster? Weighing over 200 doesn't mean you are obese or even overweight, but if you are 5'6" and 230 then I am fairly certain you would be medically classified as such.
People get sensitive about weight- some people get righteous, catty, defensive, mean...you name it. I believe you can be overweight and healthy. You may be a few pounds over what would be considered "normal," or have your BMI classify you as overweight and still be perfectly healthy until you die at a ripe old age.
If you are in the obese range, I would say there is not a chance you are healthy. Your joints aren't meant to support that kind of weight. Every small issue you may have will compound as you age. Per the CDC, the more you get into the "obese" territory, the higher your risk is for heart disease, diabetes, cancer, stroke, liver/gallbladder diseases, and the list goes on and on. That is a gamble I am not willing to take.
You may use the justification of "my grandmothers lived forever and they were obese" but I don't think it is serving you well. My grandmothers both smoked cigarettes like chimneys and lived very long lives. Doesn't mean I am going to assume I will dodge lung cancer, emphysema, etc if I pick up the habit.
I am sure you look great and I am happy you are confident with how you look. I do fear that you are justifying your weight problem via ancestry rather than looking at widely accepted facts about being overweight.
Now...where I am coming from is perfectly OK to make baseless assumptions about both fat people and skinny people. It's a culture of judging!
Both my mother and my father have some sort of inherent revulsion towards skinny blondes usually of anglo-saxon origins - particularly when they are 40+, with a dried-up, skinny face and flaunting their 21 yo anorexic bodies.
She doesn't live in an anglo country so that makes things less problematic for her. But when she comes here they simply can't help showing her dislike/disdain/revulsion towards that type of female. I have had to tell my mom to take it down a notch because she really looks ugly at those women and others might actually notice.
It is certainly not envy because she is still considered a beautiful woman at her age; but in my culture, beautiful women are ...well...like Monica Bellucci. Not dried-up, blonde, bony, skinny and living at the gym .
They need to look like they're having a life and like they're enjoying every moment of it. Brunette, hot, voluptuous, all around desirable.
Not tortured by self-imposed restrictions and Puritanical uptightness.
Full to downright fat can be perfectly gorgeous after 40, especially if the face is beautiful.
I told my mom that science says that "skinny" is generally healthier and that skinny people live longer, on average, but she doesn't care.
She still hates that prototype and when she sees one, she starts out with the assumption that it is an obnoxious person...and why are they so "dried up" and why do they look so vacuous anyway?
Just to show you, if that's any consolation, that prejudice and resentment comes in many shapes and forms.
Very interesting post. I would suggest that envy is indeed part of your mother's attitude; otherwise how do you explain the depth and intensity of her feelings? It is one thing to have a negative reaction to certain types of people, but it is something else when the reaction is that extreme. In addition to possible envy, I suppose there are certain personality types that need a target for their anger and resentment, and of course the target does not have to be rationally and logically justified. I had an uncle, now deceased, who just hated blacks and Jews; his life seemed to be consumed by this hatred. It was not a pretty sight.
Hatred of fat people (making cruel remarks, etc.) would fall under this irrationality, of course, and is unjustified. But there is at least a factual basis for some resentment; fat people are one cause of high health care costs (for which we all pay) and they crowd us out if we have to sit next to them in an airline or theater seat. By contrast, the resentment of thin people has no explantion other than jealousy. If you take away jealousy as a cause, then it is almost completely mysterious.
Go ahead, who is stopping you? And what does posting a picture have to do with my post?
You can "whatever" all you want but you started the thread asking for commentary. The facts are the facts: the odds are against you. If you don't mind those odds, live your life as you see fit. I will sleep well regardless. We all will.
Very interesting post. I would suggest that envy is indeed part of your mother's attitude; otherwise how do you explain the depth and intensity of her feelings? It is one thing to have a negative reaction to certain types of people, but it is something else when the reaction is that extreme. In addition to possible envy, I suppose there are certain personality types that need a target for their anger and resentment, and of course the target does not have to be rationally and logically justified. I had an uncle, now deceased, who just hated blacks and Jews; his life seemed to be consumed by this hatred. It was not a pretty sight.
Hatred of fat people (making cruel remarks, etc.) would fall under this irrationality, of course, and is unjustified. But there is at least a factual basis for some resentment; fat people are one cause of high health care costs (for which we all pay) and they crowd us out if we have to sit next to them in an airline or theater seat. By contrast, the resentment of thin people has no explantion other than jealousy. If you take away jealousy as a cause, then it is almost completely mysterious.
My mom is far from "consumed" by hatred - in the way your uncle was. I can guarantee you that. She certainly doesn't spend her day hating "skinny blondes". She simply doesn't like the "prototype". To be a bit fair to her though, the people of that sort she typically notices usually walk around with a very uptight, stand-off-ish, self-absorbed, cold attitude which, in and of itself, is indeed obnoxious no matter how you try to wrap it around.
She is certainly capable of recognizing a plump brunette walking around with that kind of attitude but ...I hate to say it, she seems to be right most of the times: it's typically skinny blondes over 35 who fit this bill.
In my culture warmth and openness to others (as well as lack thereof) are easily picked up with an inborn radar - and people are rarely, rarely wrong about their "first impression".
I am much more indifferent to this prototype than my mom is but I would lie if I said I can't see at all what she is talking about. There are just too many skinny blondes walking around with that kind of attitude and it's visible.
As for how the fat are worthy of disdain because they inconvenience us with the space issue whereas skinny blondes are not...because they don't inconvenience us with the space issue (are you sure???????) ...let's not get there, OK?
My mom is far from "consumed" by hatred - in the way your uncle was. I can guarantee you that. She certainly doesn't spend her day hating "skinny blondes". She simply doesn't like the "prototype". To be a bit fair to her though, the people of that sort she typically notices usually walk around with a very uptight, stand-off-ish, self-absorbed, cold attitude which, in and of itself, is indeed obnoxious no matter how you try to wrap it around.
She is certainly capable of recognizing a plump brunette walking around with that kind of attitude but ...I hate to say it, she seems to be right most of the times: it's typically skinny blondes over 35 who fit this bill.
In my culture warmth and openness to others (as well as lack thereof) are easily picked up with an inborn radar - and people are rarely, rarely wrong about their "first impression".
I am much more indifferent to this prototype than my mom is but I would lie if I said I can't see at all what she is talking about. There are just too many skinny blondes walking around with that kind of attitude and it's visible.
As for how the fat are worthy of disdain because they inconvenience us with the space issue whereas skinny blondes are not...because they don't inconvenience us with the space issue (are you sure???????) ...let's not get there, OK?
I did not mean to imply that your mom is as bad as my uncle was; I was just casting about for examples in a rather generalized way. However I think your basic thesis is impossible to justify or take seriously. That thesis seems to be that "skinny blondes over 35" are "uptight, stand-offish, self-absorbed" and have a "cold attitude" which is "obnoxious". I am 66 and have lived in St. Louis, Missouri; Baton Rouge, Louisiana; Freiburg, Germany; and Los Angeles, California and I have never noticed such a thing as a generality. Maybe skinny blondes over 35 are that way in your mother's country, which you do not specify. I would have no way to know because I have never lived in that country (assuming it's not Germany). But applied to the United States in general I would have to say that your thesis itself is an obnoxious form of prejudice.
It's certainly O.K. if you do not want to discuss or comment on the space issue. But then I am left wondering why you ask if I am sure that skinny blonds do not inconvenience us with the space issue. Of course I am sure. How could a skinny person cause a space issue? By the way "worthy of disdain" are your words, not mine. Mine were not that stong, because my opinion on the matter is not that strong. You can go back and read my words if you care to.
And as a disclosure of possible prejudice on my part, I am a male, not blond, of approximately normal weight, certainly not skinny, with a slight bulge of flab around the middle which is not noticeable if I have a shirt on. So I have no reason to bristle personally on this subject, which is about females anyway. I wonder what a similar disclosure on your part would reveal?
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The mystery of hatred and resentment
