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Your insistence that we dole out the facts for you instead of looking them up yourself may be reflective of the whole 'poor me, I am not to blame and can't help myself' attitude you have towards weight.
No one is trying to purposely be mean. I think it's more of a tough love environment.
I am one of these linky people. Can you provide a link to back up anything you say?
I just gave you two links btw. They were defined in a certain way. Now, you are free to provide links that you choose to define in your way.
haha
My personal weight and measurements chart is proof! Since your such a "linky" person I will give you one and feel free to google some more yourself.
"Body measurements can be a useful way to track your progress. Many times you'll see a loss of inches even if the scale isn't moving." How to Take Body Measurements
I've continously given you stuff to back up what I say. So your statement is debunked.
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Originally Posted by mistygrl092
No, I'm just really growing tired of self-righteousness and lack of data.
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and also this quote "But this is really getting off topic, but in and of itsef a real example of the discrimination that DOES exist with all the holier than thou, self-righteous and judgmental posts thoughout."
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Originally Posted by mistygrl092
And to whom are you addressing this? I am not your sweetheart EITHER. Did I effing ask you to google anything?
If there is ONE thing I've learned today, and for some reason especially today, mean people suck and there are plenty of them on the Net. I am out of here.
You all have yourselves a lovely time attacking and belittling each other. I'm done.
Sorry mistygrl, not everything is roses and sunshine. If your going to question every.single.thing. anyone post be ready for the responses. It doesnt matter if you like them or not.
I guess I thought wrong that we could have left our differences in the other thread, but then you drug it over here. Then again, its close to a full moon out. .
Just to let you know, in the south "sweetheart" or "sweetie" is used quite often. I guess you can say its a courtesy even. Its very normal to be in a check out and the customer turn to the cashier and tell them "Thank ya sweetie" or "Have a good one sweetheart".
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Your insistence that we dole out the facts for you instead of looking them up yourself may be reflective of the whole 'poor me, I am not to blame and can't help myself' attitude you have towards weight.
No one is trying to purposely be mean. I think it's more of a tough love environment.
Location: Back in Melbourne.....home of road rage and aggression
402 posts, read 1,160,995 times
Reputation: 526
Ho-leeeeee sheeeeet, has this one gotten waaaay off topic. It went from 'is there size/weight discrimination' to 'the how's and how not's of losing weight' and whether or not the OP is making excuses--totally irrelevant to the original question.
But I digress.
As someone who has now been on both sides of the weight fence, I can say with a lot of authority, that size and weight discrimination do definately exist.
I have not changed my personality, my credentials or my work ethic, but by God the more weight I lost the more people started to like me, to compliment me, and praise me, as if I had somehow just gotten great overnight.
I notice it most with work and my superiors. Even though my performance hasn't improve (I still get the same stellar results I always have) and I haven't acquired any further skills, all of a sudden I am just aces! I am the go to girl! I am just this whizbang fantastic we-could-not-live-without-you person.
And aside from losing weight I can not for the life of me work out what else I have done to earn such praise. Where was all this when I was fat? Non-existant is where.
I also see it in my personal life. Suddenly I am on every invite list for every party in town. All of a sudden I am so much more fun to be around, so witty and hilarious. Mind you, I'm no less shy and introverted than I ever was; I never go to any of these parties or get togethers. I still have issues with social situations. I dont' enjoy these outings any more as a thin person than I did as a fat person. And no, it's not that i'm more confident and my self esteem is better. Ask my therapist! She'll tell you those are still in the toilet.
Going to the doctor isnt the drama it used to be. Now I walk in to get a prescription renewed and they are all ears, just ready to work with me on anything I think might be a problem. When I was fat, anything I went to see them about was because I was fat. Recurrent headaches? Too fat. Allergies acting up to the extreme for no reason I could find? Too fat. Sinusitis? Too fat.
I can buy whatever I want at the shops, and I don't get the look that silently says, You're too fat, you should be ashamed to be buying that, you don't need that, that is the last thing someone you're size should be buying. Oh yes, I did definately cop those looks. Anyone who says those looks aren't thrown around at fat people are usually the ones who are throwing them!
Before i could have a whole trolley full of produce and one Snickers bar (that may or may not have been for my husband), and I'd get the looks that could kill--you know, because clearly I was solely responsible for their medical insurance premiums. The poster child for the Obesity Epidemic.
Now? I could buy a bucket of lard and a serving spoon and nobody would think anything of it. I'd just be a skinny girl buying lard and a spoon.
Speaking of shops, it's amazing the difference a thin person is treated in boutique store. As a fat person, I have gone into shops to buy something for someone else, the shop would be empty of other customers, but I'd be invisible until I approached the clerk.
Now, same situation, and they're all over me like a bad rash. I'm not used to this, so I find it aggravating, and just...............pandering to the thin. You know?
It's disgusting, the amount of prejudice, discrimination and overall grief that fat people cop in just everyday life, without anyone knowing the background story. So before you go telling the OP that it's just her self esteem and self confidence that are damaged and that their thread should go the the mental health forum because they called you out over your psych eval of them ( I mean, seriously, WTF, L??)(and also those of you who go dispensing unsolicited advice on how exactly one should be able to lose weight WTF does that have to do with the existance of size/weight discrimination???), try to consider that it might be something you know nothing of because you're not living it. Not trying to be a b**ch or highjack the thread of course. It just gets my dander up, because I'm not that far removed from it.
Last edited by tigerlillydownunder; 09-11-2011 at 10:22 AM..
I find discussions about weight to be very interesting, because overweight people KNOW that they are discriminated against, they acknowledge it. We can accept it. Society is not going to change about this issue.
So, knowing that this discrimination exists, why persist in maintaining a weight that is not healthy, and has no social benefits? It is like talking to a smoker who defends smoking.
Life is all about choices. Choose to live with this disability, or choose to make a change. At least wieght is one thing that you can change...I don't buy the fact that people can't lose wieght, it is that they choose not to, with lifestyle choices...even people on medication that causes weight gain, can make healthier food choices.
As someone who has now been on both sides of the weight fence, I can say with a lot of authority, that size and weight discrimination do definately exist.
There's nothing I can add to what you've written in this post. Your experiences mirror mine as I dropped weight, not with friends and acquaintances, but most notably in encounters with strangers, and especially if those strangers were engaged in customer service. Apparently the cash I carried then was not as valuable as the cash I carry now, with 140 fewer pounds on my body.
My point was instead of focusing on changing the discriminator's mind (impossible), focus on what you can control (your weight). I may have to re-read, but I don't remember anyone saying that weight discrimination doesn't exist.
Location: Back in Melbourne.....home of road rage and aggression
402 posts, read 1,160,995 times
Reputation: 526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81
There's nothing I can add to what you've written in this post. Your experiences mirror mine as I dropped weight, not with friends and acquaintances, but most notably in encounters with strangers, and especially if those strangers were engaged in customer service. Apparently the cash I carried then was not as valuable as the cash I carry now, with 140 fewer pounds on my body.
I know! It's astonishing really, how much more I am worth now that I am less, in a manner of speaking. To me it really emphasises who your true friends are. They're the ones who liked you when you were fat and they like you now that you're not. Because they don't care either way (they care about you, not your size or the number on the scale); size was never a criteria in whether or not their time and company was worthy to be spent on you.
The strangers (such as customer service and sales people) I can deal with behaving in a completely different way than I've encountered over the years. After all, I don't know them personally, so I don't take it on board as much (I do a little, always did, but not as much as someone I know beyond 'May I help you?'). It's the people I've known for years who all of a sudden seem to have this desperate need to befriend me. I want nothing to do with them. If I wasn't good enough for them when I weighed 130kgs, then they're not good enough for me now that I'm 79kgs. In saying that, I newly appreciate the people who didn't want to know me then, and still don't want to know me, because at least they're being true to themselves and me--they probably just do not like me, fat or otherwise. That's fine. We don't all have to like each other.
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Originally Posted by mochamajesty
I may have to re-read, but I don't remember anyone saying that weight discrimination doesn't exist.
Oh I'm sorry, but yes, they did. I can't quote everyone but one that stands out to me (probably because this poster is incredibly vocal and unyielding in the belief that they are a health guru/god) is a very early responder in this thread, who suggested that this thread really belonged in the Mental Health section, that the OP is essentially crazy and/or delusional (because isn't that what mental health is predominantly known for? Crazies and nut jobs? well.....it doesn't have to be, but........whatever), that OP is imaging these things due to poor self image and low or non-existant self esteem and confidence. Although not specifically worded that size/weight discrimination doesn't exist, it is heavily implied that it is a mere figment of OPs imagination. THAT kind of thing invaldiates the OPs question and personal experiences, and devalues their observations of what's happening around and to them, essentially saying that it doesnt exist. It's the same with other responders who point a finger and call liar by insisting that the OP is just making excuses. From there the thread just went completely off course, thus all the posts about taking personal responsibility, using discipline, doing this, doing that, DON'T do this OR that..........the OP wasn't interested in getting nutritional advice and weight loss tips, nor were they interested in having a pyschiatric evaluation conducted by someone they've never seen or met.
Oh, I know, I know--"but...but....but"---
But nothing. Responses like some of those here are nothing more than thinly veiled denials that size/weight discrimination exists. It can be spun any way you want (not you specifically, just you in a collective sense), but at the end of the day it's there, it's practiced, it's honed like an acquired skill........and that is just a simple fact. Nobody denies that race and religious discrimination takes place, so why is it so unfathomable that size and weight discrinimation are alive and well and triving in this blame and shame society? Even more to the point, why is it so acceptable when other discrinimations are not? It's so wrong to hate on people of other races and ethnicities, right? It's so wrong to hate on people of other religions that others dont understand. It's so wrong to hate on others because they're a different nationality. But fat hate? Fat hate is the last acceptable prejudice, which I find appalling considering all the other things there are to worry about in society today. Although the fatties, they've got it coming, right? Fat people: the cause of all that is wrong in the world today.
I'm glad that I'm not fat anymore. I pray to God I have the will and the means to stay this way. I never want to go back. However, that doesn't mean that I'm comfortable living as a thin person either. It's not exactly the end all be all that I thought it would be, that I was convinced it would be. The only thing that has really changd in my life is that I now benefit from Thin Privaledge, which is nothing more than effortless access to things, people, places, and experiences I didn't have access to when I was fat. Which is sad, since I'm still the same exact person I was, only I weigh less and I take up less space now, and for that I'm rewarded.
I think if people who feel discriminated against due to being overweight, want to discuss this discrimination with other people who -might- want to engage in a reasonable discussion about it, they'd find more suitable posters in the beauty/fashion, or politics, or great debates forum.
Coming to a forum which exists primarily for people who are trying to get thinner, or in better fitness condition, to whine about how fat people are discriminated against, isn't really going over all that well.
This is the "diet and weight loss" forum, not the "why we shouldn't have to diet or lose weight" forum. That forum - is perhaps in Beauty forum. Go on over there and see how that works for ya.
Nobody denies that race and religious discrimination takes place, so why is it so unfathomable that size and weight discrinimation are alive and well and triving in this blame and shame society? Even more to the point, why is it so acceptable when other discrinimations are not? It's so wrong to hate on people of other races and ethnicities, right? It's so wrong to hate on people of other religions that others dont understand. It's so wrong to hate on others because they're a different nationality. But fat hate? Fat hate is the last acceptable prejudice, which I find appalling considering all the other things there are to worry about in society today. Although the fatties, they've got it coming, right? Fat people: the cause of all that is wrong in the world today.
I see that you ignored the part of my post that addressed this. Fat discrimination is preventable, period. Why complain about something that you can change? You cannot change people's minds, so focus on what you can change. You actually don't see the absurdity in complaining about fat discrimination (which changes nothing) and putting that energy into losing the weight?
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