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I know of a woman who put her perfectly healthy dog down because it was relentlessly escaping despite her best efforts - even when she was monitoring the dog in person, it would just climb the fence right in front of her and take off. It was a very high-energy working dog, and she owns an actual farm that is her livelihood. I think she would have been able to rehome it, but I understand why she did what she did. And I'm told that she was heartbroken about it.
But in the case of your friend... well, it was a pet, a companion animal. You just keep it inside. I have two very high-energy working-breed dogs. They are NEVER unsupervised in the yard for more than five minutes or so. We have a perfectly good fence that they would never jump, but I just don't leave them alone because I've seen how dogs can get into trouble and I also know there are lots of people who would have no problem stealing them. We go on walks and hikes, visit dog parks, compete in dog sports and just generally do things that keep them active and happy. There is no reason to leave them unsupervised in an uncontrolled environment.
To me, in a situation like this, context is everything. I would consider certain things - Was this a cultural issue? Does your friend have mental health issues? Were there any warning signs or previous incidents that are sort of in keeping with her drastic decision?
Then I would also consider issues like how much this friend contributes to your happiness and what the foundations of the relationship actually are.
I don't think this is necessarily a friendship breaker, but I also wouldn't blame you if you felt you could no longer continue the friendship. This is really about what you can and can't accept and move past. And that's really a question only you can answer.
I did offer to take the dog when I talked to her about rehoming. She objected because I already have four animals. I offered for my brother to take her as well since he too does rescue. She objected.
How very, very selfish of her. Let me guess, she didn't want people to think badly of her for giving up her dog to you or was it a matter of "I don't her but no one else can have her". I would have to walk away from the friendship.
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How very, very selfish of her. Let me guess, she didn't want people to think badly of her for giving up her dog to you or was it a matter of "I don't her but no one else can have her". I would have to walk away from the friendship.
Kinda of Harsh since you no clue about this OP. Might be a very good reason she wouldn't want this person to have her dog! I had a friend that offered to take my cat when we had to move from my sons home into an apt! No WAY ion Earth I give her a stray cat much less my best bud! Did I tell her why Nope never! cause I thought she was my friend & I didn't want to hurt her. Maybe I was wrong cause I still lost the friendship. On the last day of the move another friend took me & the cat to the vet I held the cat til she was gone she died in my arms for lack of a good home
Why wasn't my friend offer good for my cat well I tell you Her Home STUNK! You walk in the front door & the litter box her 3 cats used were upstairs in the bathroom at the other end of a huge home! The odor would bring tears to my eyes! The rest of the hose was a pig sty! cluttered clean & dirty clothes all over! They lived there 3 yrs at that time still had not unpacked everything! Dirty dishes mold & crusty all over. Commode so black I went to a gas station to pee!!
A longtime acquaintance of mine lost her dog a couple of weeks ago; he was 12 years old. She had spent a lot of money when he had cancer several years ago, and he had been cured. I saw that the dog was having some trouble walking recently. Anyway, I saw my friend today and she looked half-dead and in shock herself; she had euthanized her dog, taken him to the vet and stayed with him as he passed away because he was suffering; and she was very saddened by his loss. So I have very little sympathy for someone who euthanized a healthy and friendly dog out of convenience; especially if the person doesn't even have the decency to hold the dog as he died.
I think the OP has handled the situation pretty well - staying away from the friend was probably the best thing. I would have done the same thing; because I would not have trusted myself not to scream my rage at the person. I would find it very difficult to resume a friendship with the person.
Kinda of Harsh since you no clue about this OP. Might be a very good reason she wouldn't want this person to have her dog! I had a friend that offered to take my cat when we had to move from my sons home into an apt! No WAY ion Earth I give her a stray cat much less my best bud! Did I tell her why Nope never! cause I thought she was my friend & I didn't want to hurt her. Maybe I was wrong cause I still lost the friendship. On the last day of the move another friend took me & the cat to the vet I held the cat til she was gone she died in my arms for lack of a good home
Why wasn't my friend offer good for my cat well I tell you Her Home STUNK! You walk in the front door & the litter box her 3 cats used were upstairs in the bathroom at the other end of a huge home! The odor would bring tears to my eyes! The rest of the hose was a pig sty! cluttered clean & dirty clothes all over! They lived there 3 yrs at that time still had not unpacked everything! Dirty dishes mold & crusty all over. Commode so black I went to a gas station to pee!!
Don't judge unless you know Both sides!
If someone said to me you can live in a stinky, cluttered, dirty pig sty of a house or we can go to the hospital and I'll hold your hand while they give you a shot to kill you, I would get over the stink and filth very quickly, especially if I knew they would feed me and not hurt me.
Again, I would walk away from a friendship where I offered their animal a home and they decided putting the animal down was a better option, regardless of their reason why. Let's pretend I am not appalled for the animal's sake, there still remains the fact that anyone who would think death would be preferable to life in my home must think I am a truly horrible person. Why would I want to be friends with someone who feels that way about me?
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When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
If someone said to me you can live in a stinky, cluttered, dirty pig sty of a house or we can go to the hospital and I'll hold your hand while they give you a shot to kill you, I would get over the stink and filth very quickly, especially if I knew they would feed me and not hurt me.
Again, I would walk away from a friendship where I offered their animal a home and they decided putting the animal down was a better option, regardless of their reason why. Let's pretend I am not appalled for the animal's sake, there still remains the fact that anyone who would think death would be preferable to life in my home must think I am a truly horrible person. Why would I want to be friends with someone who feels that way about me?
Fine by me I NEVER let my animals live in Filth! Nor with Horders! What part of Not Safe do YOU Not understand!
I rescued my cat fro a Horrible Life she had 10 yrs with us, No Way I was putting her back thru that again!
OP, sometimes things happen that make friendships dissolve. It happens. My best friend and I argued over some stupid stuff too...and we haven't talked in over 10 years. Many days I miss her. And others, well...my husband is my new best friend now.
The thing is, as in all relationships, there are lines we draw. If someone does something that so obviously goes against the very fiber of your being (as in this case), it's a deal breaker and we choose to move on. My suggestion is to let things cool off and maybe have a final conversation with this person. Let them know why you feel the need to move on.
Her choice is something "she" will have to live with.
Some people show no remorse at the death or loss of a pet.
She could have rehomed the dog as you stated.
For me, trying to keep my beloved Sheltie alive through his cancer, what your friend did seems to be a selfish gesture. I value my pets more than anyone can ever imagine. Always suffer guilt feelings thinking I could have done more.
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