Struggling with my best friend's decision (science, rescues, adopting, cats)
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Fine by me I NEVER let my animals live in Filth! Nor with Horders! What part of Not Safe do YOU Not understand!
I rescued my cat fro a Horrible Life she had 10 yrs with us, No Way I was putting her back thru that again!
The part that does not, and will not ever, understand how death would be preferable to living in filth or with a hoarder who feeds them. Certainly living in a perfect home would be better but I bet if an animal could talk they would say avoiding a dirty home where they would become the 4th or 5th pet of a hoarder, as long as they are fed and not physically abused, isn't worth dying for. I will never get the rationale that no home is better than a less than desirable home. This way of thinking is the same crap some "rescues" engage in and it's all about making the people feel better, not doing what's best for the animal.
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This is as civil as that monster warrants: She's filth. Be "friends" with someTHING like that if you want to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TecWmn
I am struggling and I am seeking thoughtful, constructive advice. You may have a strong reaction to my behavior or my friends, but I ask that we please keep the dialogue civil or refrain from responding if you cannot.
My best friend of almost 30 years just did a convenience euthanasia on her dog of 8 years. I loved this dog. No health issues and no aggression issues. The dog would escape from the yard on occasion, but cause no harm. She had expressed her frustration with this in the past and I talked to her about retraining or rehoming the dog; she opted to put up a new fence.
I will openly admit that I am a huge animal lover, do a lot of rescue, and have hard line on people who abuse or dispose of animals. Everyone knows this about me as I am very vocal and it is my number one passion in life.
My friend texted me heartbroken that she "had" to put her dog down. I assumed the dog had been hit or sick or something and called her immediately to see if she was alright. When I asked her what happened she said nothing that the dog had gotten out again and she was worried about what could happen. I then asked her if she was with the dog when they euthanized her and she was not. Out of shock I said 'so you deserted her when she needed you most'. Being that my friend needed someone to support her in that moment, I told her that I was going to go, she agreed that was best and we ended the conversation. In order not to subject my friend to my very strong and angry reaction, I decided to give it space for a while.
The very next day she started texting me her justifications and how 'lots of people' think she did the right thing, that she did what she thought was best for the dog, she was heartbroken that she 'lost' her best friend (talking about her dog), and that bottom line it was her decision that she had to live with.
Unfortunately, her pushing me at that moment resulted in me telling her my opinion that convenience euthanasia is a violation of the human-animal bond and that her dog deserved better. I said she didn't have the courage to honor that bond by being there at the end. That she should not delude herself that she did what was best for the dog, she did what was best for her. I told her to seek support from those people that agree with her decision because I cannot support her through this. She said I was being selfish. I told her it was better for me to be selfish than subject her to my strong feelings about the situation. I asked that we each go find the support we need, grieve the loss, and give it some space.
I agree that not being there for her when she is hurting is selfish, but I just cannot. The thoughts that run through my head are strong and detrimental to her. I too am mourning the loss and I see her as the direct cause - she killed her dog. I think things like at least my selfishness didn't result in the death of a perfectly healthy and loyal animal. I am completely repulsed, disgusted, and shocked by my friend's decision. When she said was 'heartbroken and suffering' my thought was good, you deserve be, you created that, and you are a coward (so you can see why I am not the best person to support her right now).
I am struggling with if and how to continue to be her friend. It seems that 30 years of friendship deserves an effort to work through this. I just don't know if I can or how I would.
Please keep your responses civil and if you have constructive advice that you are willing to share I would appreciate that very much.
Our four dogs have homes with us for life..........but, if something unforeseen happened........I would put them down rather than rehome them.
Even if the would go to an excellent home.........I would lose control of their well being after that.
All due respect, but that's kind of crazy. And a little narcissistic. "No one will ever be able to provide as good and secure a home for my pets" is a very unrealistic assumption.
I am struggling and I am seeking thoughtful, constructive advice. You may have a strong reaction to my behavior or my friends, but I ask that we please keep the dialogue civil or refrain from responding if you cannot.
My best friend of almost 30 years just did a convenience euthanasia on her dog of 8 years
I am struggling with if and how to continue to be her friend. It seems that 30 years of friendship deserves an effort to work through this. I just don't know if I can or how I would.
Please keep your responses civil and if you have constructive advice that you are willing to share I would appreciate that very much.
I would dump this person. She's an insensitive, selfish assclown of the highest order. If she can do that to a dog, you should walk away from her.
Convenience killing is something I'd have trouble with too.
What I don't understand is what freaking vet would perform a euthanasia on an 8yo healthy dog??!! Every vet I've ever had rehomed pets when their patients need them to.
All due respect, but that's kind of crazy. And a little narcissistic. "No one will ever be able to provide as good and secure a home for my pets" is a very unrealistic assumption.
That is the way I feel about it.......crazy or, not.
We have hunting hounds...........no one I have met has taken care of their hounds like I would yet.
What I don't understand is what freaking vet would perform a euthanasia on an 8yo healthy dog??!! Every vet I've ever had rehomed pets when their patients need them to.
Sometimes vets are under a lot of pressure from "corporate forces" to just make the customer happy. My best friend is getting out of the veterinary business partly because she found herself in too many situations in which she was expected to do something unethical, and her boss supported the customer.
Kinda of Harsh since you no clue about this OP. Might be a very good reason she wouldn't want this person to have her dog! I had a friend that offered to take my cat when we had to move from my sons home into an apt! No WAY ion Earth I give her a stray cat much less my best bud! Did I tell her why Nope never! cause I thought she was my friend & I didn't want to hurt her. Maybe I was wrong cause I still lost the friendship. On the last day of the move another friend took me & the cat to the vet I held the cat til she was gone she died in my arms for lack of a good home
Why wasn't my friend offer good for my cat well I tell you Her Home STUNK! You walk in the front door & the litter box her 3 cats used were upstairs in the bathroom at the other end of a huge home! The odor would bring tears to my eyes! The rest of the hose was a pig sty! cluttered clean & dirty clothes all over! They lived there 3 yrs at that time still had not unpacked everything! Dirty dishes mold & crusty all over. Commode so black I went to a gas station to pee!!
Don't judge unless you know Both sides!
It had to do with distance and her reluctance to give up her dog in the first place. I live in California, she lives in the Midwest, and my brother lives in North Carolina. Even if she didn't want me to have her dog, I gave her plenty of resources - some people are just too lazy to put in the effort.
You killed a healthy cat because your friend's house was dirty? Did you consider working with a rescue group that works with cats? You are in the same category as my friend - I don't understand this mentality that animals are disposable.
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