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The truth is we don't know about him and neither did the rescue. They haven't been around him much. We adopted him because quite frankly at his age he wasn't going anywhere and we really wanted to give him the love of being a family pet instead of his previous life. I know, I know, people have such noble intentions when they adopt. Maybe he doesn't really do well with children under 10. Now we know. Unfortunately we are in a delicate situation - because our daughter is also distraught because she thinks we're going to give up the dog.
I'm sure you are terrified right now and don't know which way to turn. I would be too.
One night, my teen-age son was nuzzling his Westie - rubbing his face in Ringo's fur and Ringo snapped at him. Ringo was about 7 years old and this had never happened before. I was stunned but MANY times when my son was little - I had to remind him about 'no face in face' with the dog. Even when Ringo was a puppy I constantly warned him about this.
In my former job, I worked with a number of people who were injured by dog bites. I learned, you just never know. Often there is a provoking event - but sometimes there isn't.
Kids who have never been around dogs - don't realize not to get in their face; not to bother them when eating, etc.
OTOH - you are worried that it can happen again and I understand that.
Is there a way you can keep them separated unless you are present? Easier said than done, I know.
Bottom line, this can never happen again because it could be much worse.
Here is how I would explain this to your daughter when you return the dog.
Alot of good people do dog rescue. They take into their homes several dogs per year to assess the personality to make sure the dog goes to the appropriate home. This time period usually lasts a couple of weeks to a couple of months. Using this knowledge they can find the best possible home for the dog.
It is not cruel to use this knowledge to find the dog the right home. It is kind to the dog to find the dog the right home. This dog is not comfortable or happy around children. This dog should be in an all adult home, perhaps one with another canine companion that he can follow to make himself feel more comfortable. (This is actually key to alot of dogs who haven't had a home life. They can communicate easier with another canine companion and they can read the cues from another dog of what is safe and what is a danger alot easier than they can read human body language or verbal language. )
By spending 5 weeks in your home the dog was effectively fostered by you. The rescue can now use this information to find the dog an appropriate home where he will be comfortable and happy.
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Note to OP. On occasion, very rarely, I have seen a dog who literally sparkles in the eyes when she saw children. Maybe it is because in rescue we see the dogs who people have allowed to be abused by their kids until the dog snaps. If you look hard enough you will find a dog like this. When you evaluate dogs, watch carefully their body language when they meet your kids. Read https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Terms...alming+signals
Many dogs will be ignoring kids, turning from them, licking their lips, sniffing the ground etc. All trying to calm the kids. These are dogs that likely will not be very comfortable around kids.
----------------------
If I were placing this dog, based on what you said about his background and your experience, I would look for an all adult home with one or more calm confident dogs. I would not expect him to be able to assess anything in his surroundings on his own. He needs another dog to show him the ropes in how to navigate the confusing and often scary world of humans.
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Edit to add: OP, this is absolutely the best time to return the dog. The rescue already knows it is a bad fit and they are in a better position to rehome the dog now than they will be if you keep the dog a year or more and the dog gets very comfortable there and then something more serious happens. Sometimes it is really obvious a mistake was made and it is very hard for them to say, give the dog back. We made a mistake.
Also wanted to say there is absolutely no reason for you or your daughter to feel bad at all. Foster homes often have dogs for much longer than 5 weeks before they are placed. Just look at it as you were fostering a dog for 5 weeks and now he will continue on in the search for a perfect home. Do think of it as if you decide to keep the dog then you are denying the dog the opportunity to find a home that will be comfortable for him. You are also denying some other family dog who loves kids the perfect home for them with you.
I've chronicled our five weeks with the rescue senior dog. Up until this point, things couldn't be better. I'm telling the truth with that. He seemed like he was getting along with the kids well enough and seemed to enjoy the six year old's presence. Then this happened. We made the mistake of leaving the children alone with him for a moment (I was in the bedroom and my husband had stepped outside). So we were not there when the incident happened. That's totally our fault. My daughter came into my room screaming and crying and she had two scrapes on her face (not deep puncture wounds though), one above her lip and the other on her chin. there was bleeding but it wasn't gushing. that's why i think it was more of a nip than an actual bite because bite would mean way more damage. she told me that he jumped up onto the couch beside her, which he does often. She was petting him on the head in "soft strokes". Then, in a sequence of I guess moments, he bared his teeth, growled and got her in the face. When she was screaming and crying she said he didn't give a warning but once she calmed down, on her own and without prompting, she says that he bared his teeth and gave a quick growl. So he did warn but then soon followed with an action.
This caught us totally by surprise as there hasn't been no real signs that I know of. He seemed to get along with the kids. Everything really seemed great and we were commenting on how he's made great strides. We are his first family, he was a vet clinic dog for years before coming to us. We are faced with a difficult decision, one that I don't want to take lightly. I love him very much and don't want to return him but at the same time I have to consider my child's well being. She's never been around dogs before and now she's terrified. She doesn't want us to give him back, but she says that she can't trust him any longer. Regardless, this incidence does change things in our household.
Can anyone please weigh in. Our previous dog never growled or bit so we have no reference. this is all new to us. We try to educate our kids on dog etiquette but obviously something irritated him. The frustrating thing is that WE JUST DON'T KNOW what could have instigated this.
Sorry if I am not coming across clearly, I'm just shocked right now.
You actually have to take time to consider whether the dog is more important than your child?
People, please give the OP a break. She was a very kind person to take this poor dog in. I don't think there were lines of people waiting to take him and there won't be now. Give her time to breathe and process. She knows it's a serious situation, she has voiced that over and over.
Totally agree, thank you bookspage and thank you OP for your compassion for your old dog while of course not wanting to put your children at further risk. I respect your desire to get some feedback from experienced dog owners. You might also think about consulting with a board-certified animal behaviorist (DVM) who can help you consider all the relevant factors before making your decision.
Here is how I would explain this to your daughter when you return the dog.
Alot of good people do dog rescue. They take into their homes several dogs per year to assess the personality to make sure the dog goes to the appropriate home. This time period usually lasts a couple of weeks to a couple of months. Using this knowledge they can find the best possible home for the dog.
It is not cruel to use this knowledge to find the dog the right home. It is kind to the dog to find the dog the right home. This dog is not comfortable or happy around children. This dog should be in an all adult home, perhaps one with another canine companion that he can follow to make himself feel more comfortable. (This is actually key to alot of dogs who haven't had a home life. They can communicate easier with another canine companion and they can read the cues from another dog of what is safe and what is a danger alot easier than they can read human body language or verbal language. )
By spending 5 weeks in your home the dog was effectively fostered by you. The rescue can now use this information to find the dog an appropriate home where he will be comfortable and happy.
----------------------
Note to OP. On occasion, very rarely, I have seen a dog who literally sparkles in the eyes when she saw children. Maybe it is because in rescue we see the dogs who people have allowed to be abused by their kids until the dog snaps. If you look hard enough you will find a dog like this. When you evaluate dogs, watch carefully their body language when they meet your kids. Read https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Terms...alming+signals
Many dogs will be ignoring kids, turning from them, licking their lips, sniffing the ground etc. All trying to calm the kids. These are dogs that likely will not be very comfortable around kids.
----------------------
If I were placing this dog, based on what you said about his background and your experience, I would look for an all adult home with one or more calm confident dogs. I would not expect him to be able to assess anything in his surroundings on his own. He needs another dog to show him the ropes in how to navigate the confusing and often scary world of humans.
----------------------
Edit to add: OP, this is absolutely the best time to return the dog. The rescue already knows it is a bad fit and they are in a better position to rehome the dog now than they will be if you keep the dog a year or more and the dog gets very comfortable there and then something more serious happens. Sometimes it is really obvious a mistake was made and it is very hard for them to say, give the dog back. We made a mistake.
Also wanted to say there is absolutely no reason for you or your daughter to feel bad at all. Foster homes often have dogs for much longer than 5 weeks before they are placed. Just look at it as you were fostering a dog for 5 weeks and now he will continue on in the search for a perfect home. Do think of it as if you decide to keep the dog then you are denying the dog the opportunity to find a home that will be comfortable for him. You are also denying some other family dog who loves kids the perfect home for them with you.
I am not going g to tell you what to do as that is your decision.Growing up we had 2 dogs one was a grumpy older dog who was not that fond of kids.My parents had him first and he found & himself with 4 kids before he died .I think we all got bitten by him at least once, not attacked but where he would suddenly turn and bite usually due to something we did.I snuck up on him and he turned and bit my knee.I am 59 and still have the scar.This was back in the 60's and my mom never got mad at the dog but did use the bites to teach us how to behave around dogs. Despite being bitten we all grew up to be lifelong g dog owners.
One of my good friends had a border collie when her 2 daughters were small.The dog was around d a group of kids when one startled her and she turned and nipped him.The kids parents as well as my friend realized it was the child's fault and my friend kept the dog away from groups of young kids after that. The dog also bit her younger daughter once.Someone had come to the door and the dog and child went to the door and the daughter grabbed the dogs collar and got bit.She did not tell her parents as she was afraid they would get rid of the dog but her sister found her washing the bite in the bathroom and told her mom. They did not get rid of the dog and while her daughter was a bit afraid at first she got over it and is now a veterinarian. The dog lived to be 15.My friend was just more careful about the dog being around kids.
I have another friend who's 8 yr old son stuck his face in their old english sheepdog's bowl while she was eating and got bit.That friend had the dog put down and her poor son always felt guilty about it as he had been told not to bother the dog when it was eating and he had loved that big old dog.
So while some seem to think there is only one thing to do in such a case, it is never that black and white. I think my friends son suffered more then me , my siblings or my friends daughter as he knew he was at fault and cost his buddy her life
Here is how I would explain this to your daughter when you return the dog.
Alot of good people do dog rescue. They take into their homes several dogs per year to assess the personality to make sure the dog goes to the appropriate home. This time period usually lasts a couple of weeks to a couple of months. Using this knowledge they can find the best possible home for the dog.
It is not cruel to use this knowledge to find the dog the right home. It is kind to the dog to find the dog the right home. This dog is not comfortable or happy around children. This dog should be in an all adult home, perhaps one with another canine companion that he can follow to make himself feel more comfortable. (This is actually key to alot of dogs who haven't had a home life. They can communicate easier with another canine companion and they can read the cues from another dog of what is safe and what is a danger alot easier than they can read human body language or verbal language. )
By spending 5 weeks in your home the dog was effectively fostered by you. The rescue can now use this information to find the dog an appropriate home where he will be comfortable and happy.
----------------------
Note to OP. On occasion, very rarely, I have seen a dog who literally sparkles in the eyes when she saw children. Maybe it is because in rescue we see the dogs who people have allowed to be abused by their kids until the dog snaps. If you look hard enough you will find a dog like this. When you evaluate dogs, watch carefully their body language when they meet your kids. Read https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Terms...alming+signals
Many dogs will be ignoring kids, turning from them, licking their lips, sniffing the ground etc. All trying to calm the kids. These are dogs that likely will not be very comfortable around kids.
----------------------
If I were placing this dog, based on what you said about his background and your experience, I would look for an all adult home with one or more calm confident dogs. I would not expect him to be able to assess anything in his surroundings on his own. He needs another dog to show him the ropes in how to navigate the confusing and often scary world of humans.
----------------------
Edit to add: OP, this is absolutely the best time to return the dog. The rescue already knows it is a bad fit and they are in a better position to rehome the dog now than they will be if you keep the dog a year or more and the dog gets very comfortable there and then something more serious happens. Sometimes it is really obvious a mistake was made and it is very hard for them to say, give the dog back. We made a mistake.
Also wanted to say there is absolutely no reason for you or your daughter to feel bad at all. Foster homes often have dogs for much longer than 5 weeks before they are placed. Just look at it as you were fostering a dog for 5 weeks and now he will continue on in the search for a perfect home. Do think of it as if you decide to keep the dog then you are denying the dog the opportunity to find a home that will be comfortable for him. You are also denying some other family dog who loves kids the perfect home for them with you.
I wouldn't keep a dog in the house that nipped/bit/growled at anyone in the house. Do you really want a dog that the family has to tip-toe around? If I had to worry about a dog biting if I stepped away for 2 minutes forget it, it's gone. That is one issue with rescues and obtaining adult dogs, you don't really know their history. Return the dog and make sure you tell them what happened.
I wouldn't keep a dog in the house that nipped/bit/growled at anyone in the house. Do you really want a dog that the family has to tip-toe around? If I had to worry about a dog biting if I stepped away for 2 minutes forget it, it's gone. That is one issue with rescues and obtaining adult dogs, you don't really know their history. Return the dog and make sure you tell them what happened.
Please don't paint this as an issue with rescues. I don't know what happened here, if this was a fluke, if the dog was adequately tested before placement, if the rescue dropped the ball. Things happen. But I do know that getting a puppy is certainly no guarantee of anything. Dogs don't even show their true adult temperaments until 18 months or so. You can get an anxious/fearful dog from the best breeder in the world. If anything, you know more of what you are getting with an adult rescue.
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