Put dog down and keep contemplating if there was more we could have done

[cleosmom]

You went with your gut and your heart, nothing wrong there!

Two years ago we had to put a 6 year old dog down. All of a sudden she began having seizures, we treated her with anti-seizure meds to no avail. Over the course of the longest ten days of my life I realized I had a shell of a dog. She could no longer contain her bodily fluids.... we could have taken her for a 3 hour drive to diagnose what I was thinking of, brain tumor but she deserved better than a long car ride and testing.

Thank you for giving your Boxer a wonderful life!!

[bassetluv]

Originally Posted by jencam

OP is not struggling with natural death vs PTS. OP is struggling with could they have done more? Were they wrong not to do the MRI? I say no they were not wrong. It's extremely unlikely the MRI (which would have cost 3-4K) would have led to an effective treatment for a dog of this age.

It's always extra super painful when money comes into the equation. We feel like crap for taking that into account, but it's reality for people who are not wealthy.

My cat would NOT have been able to get an MRI had I not had pet insurance. No way. I simply couldn't swing it. I think it wouldn't have made much of a difference. The Vet would have made an educated guess it was FIP and given the standard treatment, steroids, which in her case worked for as long as they could.

The MRI gave me PEACE OF MIND. To know for a FACT we were doing exactly right. It saved me and the Vet from trying this and that to hope it was anything except FIP that had a better prognosis, so it was worth it from that standpoint, but I would have had to live with some doubt lacking pet insurance.

And the pet insurance raised it's rates too high for me, so I will face this again probably, and we will do the best we can with what I have.

I tried to give a 'rate this post positively' but...you know, forum rules say you can't within a certain amount of ratings, time, etc. so I'll just acknowledge it here instead.

I've struggled with the 'should I have done more' too, along with the 'did I decide too soon?' 'did I decide too late?'...all of the agonizing decisions that a pet owner ultimately faces. And that is what makes loving an animal so difficult. We love them as much (sometimes more than) our human family members and friends, but with humans, we usually don't have to decide when to end the person's life. With animals, we do, and it's painfully difficult, esp. when the vet - as they are obliged to do - gives options...more pain meds, more tests, more of whatever. When it becomes too expensive, or when there is a good chance that the expensive tests involved may wind up revealing a suspected non-treatable condition, and the animal won't live much longer no matter what we do, the decision on what route to travel now becomes exponentially more difficult. No matter how old our pets live to be, and no matter what they may be suffering from, there is almost always some form of guilt or 'should I have's' that will inevitably follow. Add to the mix a limited source of funds when treatments and tests are excruciatingly high, and we wind beating ourselves up relentlessly over feelings of guilt, a feeling of having betrayed our best friend.

As with pretty much everyone here, I've been down both roads. I had a dog who had an aggressive tumour on her leg...the tests alone (invasive surgery) to see if she would have qualified for treatment would have bankrupted me, and my heart broke to have to say goodbye to her. My only solace in her case was that she was elderly, and had lived a good long life...but it took me a very long time to get over the 'I should have done this...', even though I felt that the decision was the right one, at the right time.

I also had a rabbit - a gorgeous English lop with crippling arthritis and luxating patellas - who I cared for palliatively for several months. It was extremely difficult to give him proper care - having to bathe his lower half every other day, massaging his muscles and joints, giving him extra attention, cleaning both his ears (which he could no longer do on his own) and his lower end to keep him from developing sores. I had people who said he should be put to sleep because he could no longer walk...and I wrestled with that for quite a while. Yet he was still his enthusiastic, stubborn self, showing interest in life, interacting with the other animals in the household, and displaying huge interest in every meal (he had an epic appetite!) so I went the extra mile, so to speak, to keep him comfortable, able to interact with those around him, and happy despite his disabilities. It was only when his pain meds appeared to no longer be blocking the pain, and his appetite began to wane a bit, that I made the decision to let go. The vet had suggested that his pain meds could be upped, but I felt that he'd had enough...and giving him stronger medicine would only make him groggy, not really existing as he had. Was my initial decision to keep him going when he was first diagnosed, based upon what I felt were his indicators that he still was interested in living, wrong? Did I wait too long? There is no easy answer to this, and I will always run into those who will say it was cruel to not euthanize at the first sign of mobility issues. But every moment of every day, I asked myself if I was doing it for myself, or for him. And I do believe that he was able to enjoy his life until I made that decision.

Either way, decisions when it comes to our pets are highly personal, based upon what we observe from them, upon what our vets tell us when they assess them, and from what we believe in our hearts. I can only hope that for all of the animals who have lived with me, they were able to enjoy their lives, and did not wind up with either a life cut short, or a life drawn out.

[CatTX]

Originally Posted by Joanna4k

Our boy was 10 1/2. I know that’s old for a Boxer but I’m sad we didn’t get another year or 2 with him. And even though I know deep down we did the right thing it still bothers me because we never knew for sure what was wrong. They said we could do and MRI but he was buckling his front paws and falling over...he would yelp when we you touched his head or neck a certain way. He was trembling on and off and he withdrew from us the last week. No pain meds we’re working. Steroids seemed to help him relax more and not pace in circles but that was it. They suspected a brain tumor or his spine (X-rays last year showed it was infused). But I wish we knew but I didn’t want to put him through anymore suffering nor spend the money just to find out what was already inevitable. But I just keep thinking....what if it was something that could have been fixed with a different med or surgery and we didn’t try it. Last year he has issues with trembling and pain and pain meds and an antibiotic worked....he never withdrew from us though. This time nothing worked and he wouldn’t come near us when we called him. He was still eating though although had trouble....the vet said though that sometimes a brain tumor makes them eat more. When we got him into the emergency he just sort of collapsed on the floor (still conscious). Kind of like he know he could finally show he was sick....and they took him on a stretcher but the dr said once he got back to a room he tried to run away but then collapsed again. It just seemed all weekend he would seem a little better and then really bad again. It’s hard to deal with.

I really feel for you, I think most people with pets can relate. It sounds like his quality of life was gone and he was miserable. And making him go through the trauma of yet another medical procedure would have not been in his best interest. I have no doubt you did the right thing.