Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The child is in a grade higher than mine and while they are on the same baseball team, the other child's parents are rarely there, so I didnt see them and had no way to contact them. I did not have any phone numbers as our school does not give out phone numbers.
Seemingly this child has a history in his class of making things up and the parents do nothing about it.
If your child did something that upset another parent, would you want that parent confronting your child and making demands? I understand where you're coming from, but that's not the way to handle things.
What if, after your confrontation with the child, he told his parents that you hit him?
You know the boy lies about even more serious issues than that, so he could easily lie to get you in trouble too. It would be your word against his. While you would probably not be convicted, you would end up arrested. It is never safe for an adult to confront a child on their own. Considering the gym teacher is asking you to apologize, it may be that the boy did tell his parents that you threatened him or worse, and the gym teacher is trying to save you before the parents press charges against you.
My, I now see why children's behavior have gotten worse. There was a time when all parents in the neighborhood played a part in a child's disipline and the child's parents were thankful that others were watching out for their child's behavior. Made most children more honest and well behaved. My neighbors were very happy when I personally stopped some boys (either pre or teen age) from throwing rocks at their homes. Yes, I confronted them directly and they've not been seen in our neighborhood ever again. The PE Coach and principal were absolutely wrong, especially the PE coach. Most PE coaches I've known as a student were the worst bullies in school and I hated every one of them.
If my son did something that upset a parent, I would of course expect that parent to say something to my son. Its called repsect for your elders and discipline. I have no problem when a parent corrects my child if it is warranted.
My son was told to behave himself at a basketball game once by a parent. I was absolutely fine with it. He is the type of child that respects adults and does what they say.
The last two nights I have received phone calls from the gym teacher at my sons middle school. He is in 7th grade. The reason ; I was at a baseball game and spoke to a boy who lied about my son and asked the boy to apologize to my son. He lied again and denied lieing about my son. It was just the boy and myself ; noone else. But the boy went to his parents and I guess the parents went to the principal who went to the gym teacher who is also the head of sports.
The boy had told the gym teacher that my son had a knife in his pocket. My son was asked and told the gym teacher 5 times he didnt, then he was marched to the principal who asked him to empty his pockets. He had 2 pens and a $2 bill. When I was told about it, I asked the principal and gym teacher if the boy could apologize to my son and it was not done. This happened about 4 weeks ago. So I felt I had given it enough time and asked at least twice if it could be done before asking the boy at the game. My son was horrified and thought he was going to be suspended even though he was the innocent victim. The teacher has not denied that it was this particular boy who made the story up.
So now the gym teacher calls me about the incident at baseball. Again, i asked for an apology and it is not coming at all. However, he asked if I could apologize to the boy.
I know it sounds silly, but in this day of bullying, I would think that a bully having to apologize to the victim would be a good thing?? Instead the parent of the victim is scolded?? If people knew they had to apologize, maybe it would make them think twice. So now in a catholic school we are promoting lying??Wonderful. Just 4 weeks left before we leave the school.
What you did was completely out of line.
How do you even know it was this child that told on your son? Additionally you have no idea the circumstances. It is entirely possible that someone else told this child about the supposed knife. If the child told the administration in good faith, even if he was wrong, he does not owe your son anything.
In this day and age of children bringing guns and weapons to school, we encourage kids to tell administrators even if they have only heard a rumor. Your son was not wronged in anyway, certainly not by this child.
Now you are harassing this child. If I were the parent of that child, and you continued to harass my child, I would be calling the police.
So basically the child who lied is unapproachable but yet the innocent child gets to carry it around with him. What is this telling bullies ; go ahead, do what you want and there is no repurcusions. Its also telling the victim that its ok for people to lie about you.
people are so afraid to approach bullies and that is why they get away with it. A simple apology would be fine.
Honesty is not the best policy ; that is what I am learning.
Your child was not bullied.
Bulling is systematic, repeated harassment and humiliation by someone with more power (socially or otherwise) than your child. That is not what happened here, at least based on your posts.
The child likely didnt LIE, they were just wrong.
Labeling a student who goes to administrators with their suspicions regarding weapons as BULLIES will just make it easier for kids who actually bring weapons to school. Kids had heard "rumors" about other school shootings in the past and didn't tell because they were worried they might be wrong. Your son was not harmed. Your actions are the ones that are turning him into a victim. If you had just told him, the other kid made a mistake, lets move on from here. It would have been the end of the story. Now if you end up with a restraining order against you it would completely be your fault.
Actually I have not spoken to my son about it since the day of the incident. I have spoken to this child once ; how is that harrassment?
The child lied ; he denied telling on my son. If it was the wrong child, surely the PE teacher and the principal would have informed me but they did not. If it was the wrong child ; then I am truely sorry, but it was not the wrong child. Maybe my child was not bullied, but he was a child that was accused of having something he did not have and then humiliated by the PE teacher as he was not believed, only to be marched to the principals office where he was terrified he would be suspended. It was prooven that he was innocent.
If it was the wrong child, surely the PE teacher and the principal would have informed me but they did not.
No, they would not have. That falls under FERPA and they could get in a heck of a lot of trouble for that. School administrators are barred from confirming or denying punishment of a child to anyone by that child's parents or guardians.
What if, after your confrontation with the child, he told his parents that you hit him?
You know the boy lies about even more serious issues than that, so he could easily lie to get you in trouble too. It would be your word against his. While you would probably not be convicted, you would end up arrested. It is never safe for an adult to confront a child on their own. Considering the gym teacher is asking you to apologize, it may be that the boy did tell his parents that you threatened him or worse, and the gym teacher is trying to save you before the parents press charges against you.
Excellent point. I have seen things like this happen.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
