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Some college students are 17 if they have a fall birthday and if they started kindergarten in a district that had a cutoff date later than their birthday.
Yes, but only a couple of months. I was not over 18 my entire college career either, I just wasn't interested in listing every exception. So regardless, once they hit 18 no one cares what the parents thinks, feels, or wants unless the child is disabled.
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I have met, spoken with, "worked with", thousands of parents over the last 15 years. Based on YOUR reasoning I am therefore an expert on raising children. Based on that, I can tell who is a bad and good parent. So you are therefore ready for me to delivery a litany of what you are doing wrong with your children correct?
I have met, spoken with, "worked with", thousands of parents over the last 15 years. Based on YOUR reasoning I am therefore an expert on raising children. Based on that, I can tell who is a bad and good parent. So you are therefore ready for me to delivery a litany of what you are doing wrong with your children correct?
Good point.
Can I join you? Taught about 2,625 students over 13 years, meaning 5,250 parents. Then an administrator to 9,000 students over 20 years, meaning about 18,000 parents.
You're right...we need to be telling the OP what he's doing wrong since we have more experience working with parents than he does.
Can I join you? Taught about 2,625 students over 13 years, meaning 5,250 parents. Then an administrator to 9,000 students over 20 years, meaning about 18,000 parents.
You're right...we need to be telling the OP what he's doing wrong since we have more experience working with parents than he does.
And really in this day an age of blended families far more than that.
Parents are the enemy. Teachers answer to the school, not the parents. Parents forget that, I think.
Yep. Whatever good parents do by meddling in education is outdone by the cumulative damage to education by having to placate the screamiest parents. And I say that as a one-time victim of significant educational physical abuse. There's no way I would ever teach, because I'd simply have no patience for being told how to do my job by buttinskies. Perhaps a good percentage of the parents are respectful, and a minority are buttinskies, but that minority would have me headed for a job that paid better and didn't involve helicopter parenting.
I think the OP has a great idea, and I think all judges and officers of the court should accept unpaid appointments from anyone who has an interest to come in and spend an hour telling them better ways to do their job. And law schools should have courses on how judges/attorneys should learn to adopt the advice of random people.
Teachers are salaried and if they care at all, they spend a great deal of time beyond the 40 hour standard workweek.
It would annoy me if someone made an appointment for a conference about their child and then gave me a lecture on teaching methodologies. Or for that matter if they came in and started talking about anything other than their child.
I would love to read an email expressing their ideas and advice that I can peruse and contemplate at leisure. But to come to my classroom to browbeat me in person to adopt your ideas? No thanks.
If you just want to talk about your child specifically, then we're all there for you.
OTOH, the teachers that the OP spoke to were rude and had bad manners.
Those teachers were wrong in several ways, and the OP did not deserve such treatment.
I worry about how those teachers treat their students.
So I've been thinking about how a college level teachers course would implement a "how to listen to parents to adopt their suggestions on how to teach".
What would be in that course?
1) How to identify a parent that is only trying to get some favor for their kid. (That would be just about all of them)
2) How to pretend to be amazed to hear about a methodology that goes in and out of fashion every 5 years
3) How to get the parent to agree to be recorded so their insights can be shared, later, in the teacher's lounge.
4) How to react when you hear something that actually sounds good that you want to try, but you have a state-mandated calendar and your submitted lesson plans to go through this year.
5) How to never, ever say "so where did you get your teacher's degree". Because you will eventually say that to someone who has a Ed Master's or doctorate degree, or even worse a PhD in the field you're teaching. Double points if that person was a professor that taught you, but you failed to recognize because you were usually drunk that semester.
6) How to ask the mom (or dad) to meet at someplace more private for further discussion.
Parents are the enemy. Teachers answer to the school, not the parents. Parents forget that, I think.
Parents are only the enemy if they are destructive forces--encourage students to be above the rules, don't establish limits and or expect students to abide by them, don't have expectations for their children to do well in school...parents who expect their children to be self-supporting at 16, work 30 hrs a week--and I have had parents like that and had their children fall asleep in class or miss class to sleep...
Have had many parents who were deliberately destructive to the education process because they considered they were the "experts" and the only experts about what their children needed to succeed...
And as a retired secondary teacher and parent of two children who went through public schools, got education degrees and one who is currently an elementary teacher--
Way too many administrators are afraid of parents--kowtow to them and their expectations vs defending their teachers...so I don't agree that teachers "answer" to the school--often times the schools defer too much to parents who have no clue what the appropriate action is...
I am not saying that every teacher is a great teacher -- my kids had bad ones during their public school and college experiences---and there were times when I probably wasn't the best teacher for a specific student--
But I worked hard to be prepared and was available for extra help before and after school--
If a student was willing to put in the time, s/he had no excuse to fail...
But there were teachers that I taught with that IMO were bad teachers and drew almost no negative feedback from parents because they gave easy grades...never challenged students, let them get away with goofing off in class so had no discipline issues---
Parents never complained about those teachers...
Some college students are 17 if they have a fall birthday and if they started kindergarten in a district that had a cutoff date later than their birthday.
Actually, since 1974, there's been a FEDERAL law called the Family Education Rights And Privacy Law (FERPA for short).
Under FERPA, any student attending a post-secondary institution (i.e. college, beyond high school) has the right to privacy of their post-secondary records, regardless of their age.
Students can opt to sign a form with their college giving their parents access to information about their records in college.
But unless a post-secondary student has signed that form, colleges MUST protect the privacy of all records for students, even if parents ask for them.
The age of a student is not an issue. It's the enrollment in a post-secondary institution that determines when FERPA applies.
FERPA states: "FERPA gives parents certain rights with respect to their children's education records. These rights transfer to the student when he or she reaches the age of 18 or attends a school beyond the high school level. "
So, even if your kid is 15 and enrolls in college, they are protected by FERPA and parents can't have access to their records, unless the student has signed the waiver granting their parents access.
Granted, it is a crazy misnomer to call it the "Family" education rights act when it actually cuts parents off from access. And, yes, when a parent is paying the tuition, one would think you would continue to have control.
But, if you want to maintain access to your child's records once they enroll in a post-high school institution (i.e. college), you need to make sure that your child sign the FERPA waiver with the college. Usually, colleges make this available at freshmen orientation, but students can also ask for it at any time during their enrollment.
Parents, however, cannot ask for the form themselves or force their kids to sign it. You can only suggest.
Even though we may not like it, that's part of the parenting process called "letting go."
Yes--colleges DON'T want to listen to parents--
They are very happy to take their money but they want NOTHING from parents but just that
Funding...
Colleges have found a way to cut off helicopter parents at the knees with this law and use it as much as they can
Students are not encouraged to sign that form--and most students when they get to college are glad to discover they can block their parents out of their business
Many parents find out way too late that a child is flunking out of school after they have funded two semesters of do nothing but play time...
Yes--colleges DON'T want to listen to parents--
They are very happy to take their money but they want NOTHING from parents but just that
Funding...
Colleges have found a way to cut off helicopter parents at the knees with this law and use it as much as they can
Students are not encouraged to sign that form--and most students when they get to college are glad to discover they can block their parents out of their business
Many parents find out way too late that a child is flunking out of school after they have funded two semesters of do nothing but play time...
Great example of blaming the school,except you just made the point for the other side. If my kid is flunking out of college and I don't know about it,that is between the two of us ,not the schools fault.Maybe as a parent I didn't do enough to prepare my kid for college and the responsibility of being an adult student.
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