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While I think the stereotypes of men in the United States as well as those in Europe are generalizations, most stereotypes have an element of truth. It is certainly true that some American men have intimacy and masculinity issues, but I have observed this to be the case mostly among men who are of lower socio-economic status and have less education. While not exclusively so, these men tend to be white, southern, conservative, and have either a high school education or some college, but not a four-year Bachelor degree. It is also common for them to belong to a conservative protestant Christian denomination, but again, that is not always the case.
Many American men who are raised in the above-mentioned type of atmosphere appear to have issues with men who they perceive to be "different" than themselves in some way. They sometimes make judgments about other men who dress or act in a way that these men do not consider macho or masculine. When they see men who wear fashionable clothes (whatever the cutting edge style happens to be at the time), or men who act in what these men consider an effeminate manner, it is not uncommon for these men to presume that the other men are gay.
To offer a couple of examples: in certain rural or ex-urban areas of the United States, men would make negative judgments about a man they might observe wearing capris. In most other countries in the world, no one would even care about this. But in some parts of the United States, a guy wearing capris or designer tight jeans and a tight t-shirt would be presumed gay. By the same token, if two guys are observed embracing each other in public (not just a back-slapping macho-style quick hug), in some areas of the United States, they would be considered to be gay. This is not the case in western Europe; no one would think there was anything strange about it.
Much of this macho insecurity complex in American men who come from this background have deep-seated issues that have been instilled in them from an early age. When people hate other people, they hate something that they perceive in the other person that is part of themselves. What isn't part of themselves doesn't disturb them.
I consider myself to be a studious observor of people, which I've done on many of my world travels. Images that come to mind:
Three men, with their arms interlinked, at a zoo exhibit in China. Have never seen that in my country.
In Greece, at night, observing some very masculine men with their arms around each other's shoulders, walking the streets in central Athens. American men? Heavens forbid!
In Italy, never seen this before, two men facing each other on a sidewalk, with fingers linked together, having a conversation. Is this something unique to Italy?
In Tijuana, Mexico. Have seen some extremely macho-looking men, sitting alone in a corner of a bar, crying their eyes out over some song that came on the jukebox. Have never seen that in my own country, and what a refreshing sight to the eyes! And? It never even raised the eyebrow of anyone else in the bar, except me! Totally ignored, unnoticed, as if this happens all the time!
I've lived with a Mexican for 12 years now, and what a great refreshment of your typical American male behavior that's been! He's straight as an arrow, yet he does nothing to repress any of his feminine traits. I've had other Mexicans rent from me, over the years, and they've all been refreshing to have around. One night, one of my Mexican roomer startled me to no end, held me in the tighest embrace, and said: I love you! Yes, he had been drinking, but still!!! With a wife and 3 kids, straight as an arrow!
I think the newer generation of American men are more mature and enlightened, hopefully more in touch with their feminine sides then their elders.
Yin and Yang, we're all 50-50, so let it show!
Last edited by tijlover; 11-23-2010 at 11:38 PM..
Reason: Edit
I can't speak for Europe, becuase I've never been, but I will say that Americans generally like their macho/swag. Whites have the redneck thing and the AA's have the thug thing.
Also, women have to share some of the responsiblity for this. American women from most all backgrounds tend to gravitiate to the meatheads. It does seem Euro women are a little bit more forgiving. Asian women, the most (Again, just my observations)
Well, you are in Germany, so I would imagine that 99% of the Americans you see are enlisted soldiers.
Soldier life is its own unique little world. If you meet other soldiers from other nations, you'll see the exact same kind of people. It comes with training how to fight, kill, survive, etc.
Generally speaking, in the United States. White Americans are generally NOT macho at all. Especially the 'educated' ones. We've had 50 years of feminism, and most educated American women hate machoism, so men can't adequately display it - in educated circles. It is also very politically correct in the States, and being macho is not popular. However, in the military it is completely different. Another place its different is among our Latino population. You'll see plenty of what educated white 'feminist-leaning' women would call 'insecure' men acting macho. However, in those communities, it seems that latina women like the macho guys. I've also noticed it among Korean men - a macho element. Gang-culture would certainly have elements of it.
My guess is that you are in Germany, and you have a college education, and you hang around educated German men. Then you are hitting American military bars or hangouts like that, and judging all Americans to be like the military guys. But honestly speaking, if you went to a German armed forces type of place, you'd see the exact same kind of people who are Germans as well.
I grew up and lived in Chicago for 30 years, then lived in Germany (non-military) for 19, then moved back to Chicago for 6 more years. Now I live I in Louisville, KY.
By comparing American and German society (excluding the fringe skinheads) I noticed quite a difference in the behavior of men. True, American GIs are usually easy to spot in a mixed crowd in Europe. Many German men do seem similar to Americans in their macho style, but not as much as in America.
To offer a couple of examples: in certain rural or ex-urban areas of the United States, men would make negative judgments about a man they might observe wearing capris. In most other countries in the world, no one would even care about this. But in some parts of the United States, a guy wearing capris or designer tight jeans and a tight t-shirt would be presumed gay.
I'm European and I would make a point of shouting abuse at any man wearing capris.
I'm European and I would make a point of shouting abuse at any man wearing capris.
Nothing cutting-edge about them, either.
I saw quite a few of them wearing capris when I was last there in 2004. They are still considered cutting-edge in many areas of the States. Everyone knows that we are at least five to ten years behind Asia and western Europe when it comes to fashion, depending on what area of the United States one is referring to.
I actually managed to spent roughly 20 years in Germany and 20 years in the US. The picture you drew sounded like it could be right - but only if the US you are referring to is a rather smallish part of the actual country. These folks do exist, but there is also a large percentage of males who do not fall within your description - and I would argue that this percentage is far greater... Certainly, any urban area would quickly cause you to throw your assumptions out of the window. There is a reason why the term "Metrosexual" was popular a few years ago...
You also need to differentiate between various Europeans. In my experience, German men are some of the least "macho" you can find anywhere on the planet. In part, I think one could find an explanation in the very strong Feminism movement in Germany in the 60's and 70's. Alas, if you look at Italians, for example, you will quickly find that even the younger generations still display a whole lot of macho behavior.
Also, as an American, I have NEVER had any of those looks or accessories...ever. I seldom see them, but this is an AMERICAN's perspectice when he does OCCASSIONALLY see the things you describe:
buzz cut - U.S. Military.
shaved head - black guy, skinhead guy, or balding white guy shaving the rest off
sleeves ripped off - meathead (slang for 'guy trying to look tough'), or gym addict
struts - ghetto or yuppie (who attended George Bush Walking School)
horsepower cars - mechanically-inclined kids not on a college track
motorcyles - freedom
boots - gay, or biker
leather - gay, or biker, or rocker
moutstaches - gay, or policeman, military
head scarves - biker, or guitar player, or muscle-head (goes with sleeves ripped off)
If you ever meet anyone who has a combination of these looks, KNOW that you are looking at a former member of the Village People!
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