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Another angle is a cop or dominant male will address the perceived threat in a situation, which would typically be the male regardless of race.
You establish authority in challenging like this.
This reminds me of a weird situation that happened to my husband and me a few years ago - in Texas. I found it weird because it was so unusual, not typical. In fact, I complained about it to the county afterwards.
We were sound asleep, alone in our house. About 3 am there was a knock on the door, and when my very sleepy husband and I woke up and stumbled to the door, we found a police officer standing there. Of course this scared us half to death - my son was serving in Iraq at the time, and we have five grown kids between us. We were both expecting the police officer to deliver bad news to us.
Instead, he said that they had received a 9-1-1 call from this address. Well, that couldn't have been true, since no one else was even in the house and we had been fast asleep. My husband was standing in the doorway, and I was behind him in the hall, sort of behind the door. I don't think the police officer ever even saw me, and I never said anything. My husband said, "We didn't make any 9-1-1 call," and the officer said, "Who is in the house?" My husband said, "My wife and me." The police officer said, "So no 9-1-1 call was made from this house?" My husband said, "Nope." and the police officer just LEFT! He never even asked to speak to me!
What on earth! I mean, my husband is not a serial killer and hadn't abducted anyone, and he wasn't beating me and hadn't tied me up in the basement - but how did the police officer know that? My gosh, he thought a 9-1-1 call had been made from our house! And that was the extent of his "checking up on it?" Wow.
I was an abused wife in my first marriage, and actually did have to call 9-1-1. Thankfully the officer they sent out that time wasn't so lackadaisical. Like I said, I believe this attitude is an exception, not a rule, because I've always been treated very respectfully and deferentially by law enforcement - other than this one incident. I literally couldn't believe it.
It was like "he took the man's word for it." I don't appreciate that.
I can see why the OP thought the scenario was weird - regardless of race or gender. I would think that a good police officer would ask BOTH people what was up.
I agree,it doesn't even look like a race issue,the cop by respect talked to the man.
Usually,women are victim of abuse and in most cases,men are the cause of abuse,so i don't see anything wrong with cop asking the guy questions.
Because in domestic violence cases, the police always used to ask the guy, and he would ALWAYS say everything was fine, or "just a little disagreement" (wink wink), and that used to be OK, even if the neighbors had reported screaming. (Domestic violence wasn't even a crime in the US until the 1980's sometime. Men were free to bludgeon their wives or rape them.) Nowadays that approach doesn't fly at all, and police are required to talk to the woman as well as the man in such cases.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 02-02-2014 at 12:19 PM..
I do think that Germans in general are more macho and have a more traditional mindset when it comes to gender roles - especially Germans over, say, age 45.
I don't agree at all! German women are known to be very strong willed, straight forward and usually wear the pants in a relationship. The "typical US American guy" is way more macho than 85% of the German men. I would even go that far to call them soft.
The most macho man I've ever met is my husband. And he's from Texas.
I've often noticed a double-standard in this regard - that it's alright for a women to be dominant in a relationship, but not a man, because it's too macho or old-fashioned.
Police intercede with whom they perceive as the aggressor or potential danger. In most domestic abuse, this is the man. The police will speak with the man first in many if not most cases.
Given the spare description of the event, the way I infer the situation is that as soon as the cop spoke with whom he thought was the aggressor -an implicitly sexist judgement- he realized this was a husband/wife spat, and moved on. Nothing to see -or discuss ad nauseum- here.
The poster is Canadian. Ok but since the issue of race was raised I'm curious to know what kind of interacial couple this is. What are we dealing with here-black guy, Asian woman, black guy white woman?
When I stayed in Europe before Switzerland signed the Schengen agreement, I crossed the Swiss-German border by train countless times. Since I'm Asian, I've had the border guards come through the train and ignore everyone except for me. And I show them my US passport plus temporary residency permit and they waltz off in less than 1 minute.
This reminds me of a weird situation that happened to my husband and me a few years ago - in Texas. I found it weird because it was so unusual, not typical. In fact, I complained about it to the county afterwards.
We were sound asleep, alone in our house. About 3 am there was a knock on the door, and when my very sleepy husband and I woke up and stumbled to the door, we found a police officer standing there. Of course this scared us half to death - my son was serving in Iraq at the time, and we have five grown kids between us. We were both expecting the police officer to deliver bad news to us.
Instead, he said that they had received a 9-1-1 call from this address. Well, that couldn't have been true, since no one else was even in the house and we had been fast asleep. My husband was standing in the doorway, and I was behind him in the hall, sort of behind the door. I don't think the police officer ever even saw me, and I never said anything. My husband said, "We didn't make any 9-1-1 call," and the officer said, "Who is in the house?" My husband said, "My wife and me." The police officer said, "So no 9-1-1 call was made from this house?" My husband said, "Nope." and the police officer just LEFT! He never even asked to speak to me!
What on earth! I mean, my husband is not a serial killer and hadn't abducted anyone, and he wasn't beating me and hadn't tied me up in the basement - but how did the police officer know that? My gosh, he thought a 9-1-1 call had been made from our house! And that was the extent of his "checking up on it?" Wow.
I was an abused wife in my first marriage, and actually did have to call 9-1-1. Thankfully the officer they sent out that time wasn't so lackadaisical. Like I said, I believe this attitude is an exception, not a rule, because I've always been treated very respectfully and deferentially by law enforcement - other than this one incident. I literally couldn't believe it.
It was like "he took the man's word for it." I don't appreciate that.
I can see why the OP thought the scenario was weird - regardless of race or gender. I would think that a good police officer would ask BOTH people what was up.
This story to me confirms underlying racial nuances. From what I know about your font, you had several kids with a black guy & from this story I assume that was your first marriage. If I'm getting this right cops come to the house, see a black guy & ask YOU if you are okay. Years later, you are with a white guy, they don't ask you if you are okay. Does that not say the cops trusted you in the hands of the white guy & not in the hands of the black guy? If both men were the same race then I apologize, my theory does not hold. If not, come on people!
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German women are known to be very strong willed, straight forward and usually wear the pants in a relationship. The "typical US American guy" is way more macho than 85% of the German men. I would even go that far to call them soft. 
