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So the basic theme of this thread is: "since I don't find so and so people attractive, I don't need to accept them." (And it is is perfectly reasonable to make assumptions about what they are like.)
*SMH*
Hopefully, perceived attractiveness and expected politeness aren't mutually exclusive.
Exactly. It's 'because I don't want to bang you, I should be able to treat you as less of a person'.
Just because I don't find someone attractive doesn't mean I'm going to be mean to them or treat them badly.
And I think I've mentioned it in this thread (and others, I'm sure), but once I started feeling better about myself and more confident in myself regardless of my size, I started putting MORE effort into working out and losing weight. The worse people treated me, the more I wanted to hide and not go to the gym and not go running/jogging and the more weight I gained as a result. The guy who moo'd at me while walking didn't motivate me to lose weight, it made me feel horrible and like I should hide because my mere presence was obviously offending people.
most people don't respond to sarcasm by insulting one's intelligence unless they don't get the sarcasm to begin with. i'm not going to argue semantics with you.
why so serious?
is putting down the fork not an option for you? have you considered taking up smoking, or meth?
I didn't repond to sarcasm by insulting anyone's intelligence. That notion implies the presence of intelligence to begin with, whereas in the case we are discussing none was displayed. No, I responded to sarcasm with sarcasm and the result was you getting your delicate feelings trampled upon.
I love how the fat haters want to be able to say whatever they want to say but can't handle it when someone makes them look foolish. Some of us are trying to have a meaningful discussion about something that matters to us. If you are going to interject sarcasm and distasteful comments then you should be ready to have your intelligence (or whatever passes as "intelligence" in your mind) insulted when people respond inlike form to you.
Seriously, did you honestly expect someone to say, "Put down the fork! Great idea! Why didn't I think of that?"
Exactly. It's 'because I don't want to bang you, I should be able to treat you as less of a person'.
Just because I don't find someone attractive doesn't mean I'm going to be mean to them or treat them badly.
And I think I've mentioned it in this thread (and others, I'm sure), but once I started feeling better about myself and more confident in myself regardless of my size, I started putting MORE effort into working out and losing weight. The worse people treated me, the more I wanted to hide and not go to the gym and not go running/jogging and the more weight I gained as a result. The guy who moo'd at me while walking didn't motivate me to lose weight, it made me feel horrible and like I should hide because my mere presence was obviously offending people.
I've argued the same thing on numerous threads. Not from firsthand experience but because it just makes sense. Shaming may well work with a select few. Some people respond to that positively. But my guess is most do not. Most people wish to be treated decently and not have to put up with the constant humiliation, being the punchline of a joke, or the object of a group of drunk guys' bet. With a healthy sense of self worth comes a fighting spirit that I believe motivates people to succeed, or at least try harder than before.
Thank you for adding firsthand perspective to something I've long believed to be true. I'm glad you are proving wrong a lot of people who never believed in you.
I don't think this is an either/or proposition. I'm overweight, and have lost about 40 lbs in the last couple years (I've recently plateaued and have more to lose, so I'm regrouping and doubling down). My wife is working on similar goals.
One can acknowledge that being overweight is unhealthy, while still being willing to date someone who is, being respectful of them, etc. We all have different definitions of what is attractive. You also have a right to choose not to, after all, we really don't have any control over who we're attracted to.
I'm married, but to me, when I was dating, a woman who was TOO obsessed with weight/fitness was a turn off, too. Maybe it was due to feeling I could never "measure up", maybe it was because I felt she'd never want to just cut loose and party, maybe it was due to the idea that she might never be satisfied and that could roll over into other areas of life.
However, I see some people that basically say "well her normal weight is 118 to 132. She weighs 140, so she's a huge beast".
THAT is also a very poor, and UNHEALTHY (especially mentally) attitude.
Can't we balance ANYTHING in our society? We're so "all or nothing". I've actually known people who turned down a weekend trip because they would miss a workout. Seriously? Sorry. You have issues if you're that obsessed.
The guy who moo'd at me while walking didn't motivate me to lose weight, it made me feel horrible and like I should hide because my mere presence was obviously offending people.
I didn't repond to sarcasm by insulting anyone's intelligence. That notion implies the presence of intelligence to begin with, whereas in the case we are discussing none was displayed. No, I responded to sarcasm with sarcasm and the result was you getting your delicate feelings trampled upon.
somebody didnt have their twinkie this morning. i wasn't aware that i contractually obligated to contribute a strictly intelligent solution 100% of the time. it seems that you were more butthurt about my comment, not the other way around. pot, meet kettle
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I love how the fat haters want to be able to say whatever they want to say but can't handle it when someone makes them look foolish.
sounds like a hypothetical scenario considering you didnt make me look foolish. you certainly seem overconfident for a person with a weight problem eh?
"fat haters". LOL. maybe they don't hate you because you're fat per se. many underlying personality issues need to exist in order for me to hate a fat person(you're a perfect example). i've had fat friends, so that is proof that i am not going to hate a fat person just because they're fat. i am not that superficial. it's like a snowball effect, once you find a few reasons to hate a person, it doesn't hurt to add one more thing as a catalyst.
Quote:
Some of us are trying to have a meaningful discussion about something that matters to us.
queue the violins
Quote:
If you are going to interject sarcasm and distasteful comments then you should be ready to have your intelligence (or whatever passes as "intelligence" in your mind) insulted when people respond inlike form to you.
ouch condescending remarks to boot. color me impressed at how serious you are in an internet forum
Quote:
Seriously, did you honestly expect someone to say, "Put down the fork! Great idea! Why didn't I think of that?"
even though i coated it with a heavy dose of sarcasm, i thought it was a legitimate solution. that's what i did. would you prefer, "put down the coke bottle?" "put down the twinkie" "stop eating your weight in food everyday"
what did you want me to offer as a viable solution? this has already been beaten to death in this forum with loads of dietary advice. ffs, there are whole sub-forums on this site devoted to weight loss.
Exactly. It's 'because I don't want to bang you, I should be able to treat you as less of a person'.
Just because I don't find someone attractive doesn't mean I'm going to be mean to them or treat them badly.
And I think I've mentioned it in this thread (and others, I'm sure), but once I started feeling better about myself and more confident in myself regardless of my size, I started putting MORE effort into working out and losing weight. The worse people treated me, the more I wanted to hide and not go to the gym and not go running/jogging and the more weight I gained as a result. The guy who moo'd at me while walking didn't motivate me to lose weight, it made me feel horrible and like I should hide because my mere presence was obviously offending people.
I don't know why, by virtue of someone not thinking someone is attractive, means it is OK to offer them "Advice" on how to fix themselves etc..
All of this is irrelevant. Be nice to people until they show they deserve otherwise.
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I can't say I've ever seen anyone doing that, regardless of their size.
