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I sent matches to a large chunk of people that I could identify through shared trees. I may have gotten messages back from 3 of the 20 I messaged. I've sent messages to people in the US, Norway, Sweden, and just yesterday the Czech Republic. I google translated and then double checked the reverse translation on all of the non-English speakers. Haven't heard back from any of them. AncestryDNA is a novelty, not something people take seriously. I just spent all last night adding a good 100 people from some research I dug up (I admit to taking people's trees...but always check to see if the stuff I'm lifting is consistent from tree to tree). If I take a large chunk I usual message the person to check in. Again, no response.
There are a lot of people on AncestryDNA who only take it for the ethnicity and once they see that, they never come back to the site. But there's also a lot of serious genealogists who take the DNA test. I recently sent out about 5 or 6 message messages to people on my husband's DNA match list at AncestryDNA, and I've already heard back from 3 of them. Granted, most of them were people with large private trees, and these are more likely to be the genealogists. The one person who had no tree at all hasn't responded and probably never will, which is frustrating because he's my husband's second closest match. But one of the people who responded, I had a lengthy conversation with about our research and DNA matches. AncestryDNA is a novelty to some, but not everyone.
Be careful taking stuff from trees, even if it's consistent from tree to tree - I have periodically done it too for the sake of simply figuring out DNA matches (when you're trying to figure out how a DNA match relates, you don't want preliminary research to take forever, you just want to see if you're on the right path), but just because data is repeated across several trees doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate, it may just mean several people copied the same error. I look instead for trees which have reliable sources added. Once I've established how we relate, I go back and verify and add the necessary records myself to confirm it.
I was pretty much a skeptic when it came to those matches of "cousins" by DNA matches, until my 2nd Cousin came up on my matches. While he did not submit a family tree, I grew up with him and KNOW he is my cousin. His Mom and my Grandma were Sisters. Don't need a Family Tree, or DNA, to know that.
My second closest match was a "very strong possibility" 3rd/4th Cousin who contacted me from reading my tree, which our common ancestor goes back over a hundred years.
On another note without DNA testing, purely by submitting my tree on Ancestry, I found a woman who had my Great-Grandpa and ME on her tree. Messaged her. I knew that Great-Grandpa had an out-of-wedlock Son, but never knew he had an out-of-wedlock Daughter as well. That is how we are related. She did not come up with "cousin" matches but maybe she never had her DNA done?
I suppose you probably need multiple sources to confirm your "cousin" matches.
I agree to be skeptical in using trees just because of consistency. One of the reasons I finally did a DNA test was to confirm a biological relationship with someone I was communicating with on ancestry who my 4th great grandmother was their 3rd great grandmother. Our connection was confirmed as they are listed as a 6th-8th cousin but I initially contacted them because they had a particular maiden name for my 4th great grandmother that I'd never seen before.
Newfound cousin informed me that she had pulled that name from someone else's tree. I inquired with the user th at she indicated she got the name from and they also said that they got it from someone else's tree. I inquired with that user (lol this went on for a few weeks BTW) and that person told me that their grandmother told them that that was my 4th great grandmother's maiden name. They had no proof that it was her maiden name.
Mind you, one of my 5th great aunts (4th great grandmother's oldest daughter) indicated on her sister's death certificate that their mother's maiden name was a totally different name than what these people had on their trees. The initial cousin who I confirmed a relationship to, she realized that she had copied over some unverifiable, probably false name. All of these people, who are more than likely they are also cousins but they don't have DNA tests, they all have the wrong maiden name for our common ancestor AND they even found someone who was from the state of PA, where my 4th great grandmother was from, and they attached her profile to some census records from 1850 and even have some parents for her. None of these people have been verified to be related to us and I don't believe that the person on the 1850 census is my 4th great grandmother. I think the first erroneous entry just put someone who had that false maiden name, attached a family and now 9 of my relatives have this false information.
I've gotten messages about it and I've let them know that that information has not been verified and is more than likely erroneous. I'm still searching for my 4th great grandmother's parents and have narrowed down some leads, but I believe that her daughter actually did know her maiden name. Her other children, the informants on their death certificates were their spouses, so I'm more apt to believe a daughter knew her mother's maiden name versus a son-in-law or a daughter in law.
So be careful about trees. I rarely ever use trees as a source.
ETA: About 5 of the people I contacted out of 9 still have the wrong maiden name of my 4th great grandmother on their tree.
I was pretty much a skeptic when it came to those matches of "cousins" by DNA matches, until my 2nd Cousin came up on my matches. While he did not submit a family tree, I grew up with him and KNOW he is my cousin. His Mom and my Grandma were Sisters. Don't need a Family Tree, or DNA, to know that.
My second closest match was a "very strong possibility" 3rd/4th Cousin who contacted me from reading my tree, which our common ancestor goes back over a hundred years.
On another note without DNA testing, purely by submitting my tree on Ancestry, I found a woman who had my Great-Grandpa and ME on her tree. Messaged her. I knew that Great-Grandpa had an out-of-wedlock Son, but never knew he had an out-of-wedlock Daughter as well. That is how we are related. She did not come up with "cousin" matches but maybe she never had her DNA done?
I suppose you probably need multiple sources to confirm your "cousin" matches.
On this, I usually need at least 2 sources - the actual DNA match (DNA doesn't lie) and the tree listing someone that I know is a relative.
If someone looked at your tree and recognized the relative and you are a DNA match to them, then you are related.
It really isn't hard unless people don't have a well developed tree or there was some shenanigans going on to where someone's dad/mom really wasn't their dad/mom and you don't know who they are.
I have many 4th-8th cousins because they have 1000+ people on their tree and 5-8 generations on their trees, I was easily able to tell how we were related.
Due to me labeling my "shared matches" as being of a particular surname group/common ancestral couple or individual family - I can also tell those who don't have a tree but who match those shared cousins, how we are related.
I usually send a message to people who are related to me on certain lines. A lot of them have never heard of that particular family and they usually have a female distant aunt of mine labeled with a "married" name instead of her "maiden" name and I tell them what her maiden name was, invite them to review my public tree and give them some history on that family. Those who respond are usually grateful and excited since I do primarily do this for the lines that I know a lot about and those I know a lot about had very interesting histories.
There are a lot of people on AncestryDNA who only take it for the ethnicity and once they see that, they never come back to the site. But there's also a lot of serious genealogists who take the DNA test. I recently sent out about 5 or 6 message messages to people on my husband's DNA match list at AncestryDNA, and I've already heard back from 3 of them. Granted, most of them were people with large private trees, and these are more likely to be the genealogists. The one person who had no tree at all hasn't responded and probably never will, which is frustrating because he's my husband's second closest match. But one of the people who responded, I had a lengthy conversation with about our research and DNA matches. AncestryDNA is a novelty to some, but not everyone.
Be careful taking stuff from trees, even if it's consistent from tree to tree - I have periodically done it too for the sake of simply figuring out DNA matches (when you're trying to figure out how a DNA match relates, you don't want preliminary research to take forever, you just want to see if you're on the right path), but just because data is repeated across several trees doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate, it may just mean several people copied the same error. I look instead for trees which have reliable sources added. Once I've established how we relate, I go back and verify and add the necessary records myself to confirm it.
Agreed 100%. It's a novelty thing at the worst and at the best it connects people who are really interested to each other. Fwiw, I lifted some things from a 3rd-4th cousin a while back and have found evidence for several other pieces. He initially had very different things. I sent him a second message yesterday after my first message did not get a response. If he responds good, but if not then no worries. My biggest issue is that this guy logs in frequently. if he hadn't logged in in months it would be a different story, but deliberately ignoring messages is just plain rude. My mother taught me to be nice to family members. Lol.
i had one that claimed, in 1540 the whole family dies in cape horn south Africa. my tree has never been in south Africa, no where close, they was pheasant farmer in Scotland
Part of me wanted to do my DNA test to see what my ancestry composition was but I also wanted to see who my matches were (and hopefully see a picture and see where they are living) and to just share info. However it seems that others aren't interested like I am.
What has been your experience when reaching out to a match? Did others contact you at all? If so did you at least get back with them or just ignore them?
It seems to be about 50/50, you message your matches and about half respond the others never do, you have to wonder why those who don't even bother doing the tests if they don't bother responding!!
One of my high matches named Valerie didnt respond at all so I messaged her thru facebook as I found she had a page there, she was a real snobby jerk and couldn't be bothered, and then BLOCKED further messages from me on facebook!
Others sent me book length responses, one offered to translate Italian documents he had for me so I could read them, another gave me a long family history.
One thing to keep in mind on Ancestry is the FREE accounts apparently have no member to member contact method, and since the full benefits including that have a monthly fee, some never pay it, some get it a while then cancel and revert to free, some keep paying, so if your matches are using free accts or cancel, they will never get your messages and cant write back...
My biggest issue is that this guy logs in frequently. if he hadn't logged in in months it would be a different story, but deliberately ignoring messages is just plain rude.
One thing I noticed, mom filled me in, she had an acct but not a DNA test, I tested and couldnt figure out how my matches related to me, but I contacted a cousin (Brooke) , she couldnt figure it out either, but Brooke had messaged the woman who turned out to be my mom- because mom had a tree up that came up in a search, so Brooke messaged her, mom got it and told me later she saw it and thought "I dont know anyone named Brooke ____ in my family" and deleted it, then my search angel Nancy messaged mom and mom almost deleted that one for the same reason, the ONLY reason she didnt was because Nancy included her PHONE NUMBER and asked her to call her, so, curiosity got the better of her and she called Nancy who told her she had someone in the other window in a chat that she thinks is her son she gave up for adoption, well that's how we connected!
Mom said she got a LOT of messages from people thru the system and became suspicious, I guess a lot of people find scammers and more contacting them so they stop responding.
Agreed 100%. It's a novelty thing at the worst and at the best it connects people who are really interested to each other. Fwiw, I lifted some things from a 3rd-4th cousin a while back and have found evidence for several other pieces. He initially had very different things. I sent him a second message yesterday after my first message did not get a response. If he responds good, but if not then no worries. My biggest issue is that this guy logs in frequently. if he hadn't logged in in months it would be a different story, but deliberately ignoring messages is just plain rude. My mother taught me to be nice to family members. Lol.
They may not see it, especially if using an app.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sculptor
It seems to be about 50/50, you message your matches and about half respond the others never do, you have to wonder why those who don't even bother doing the tests if they don't bother responding!!
One of my high matches named Valerie didnt respond at all so I messaged her thru facebook as I found she had a page there, she was a real snobby jerk and couldn't be bothered, and then BLOCKED further messages from me on facebook!
Others sent me book length responses, one offered to translate Italian documents he had for me so I could read them, another gave me a long family history. One thing to keep in mind on Ancestry is the FREE accounts apparently have no member to member contact method, and since the full benefits including that have a monthly fee, some never pay it, some get it a while then cancel and revert to free, some keep paying, so if your matches are using free accts or cancel, they will never get your messages and cant write back...
I'm on a free account, I've never used my free trial. I'm not able to contact people not on any of my matches but people can contact me and I can reply.
One thing I noticed, mom filled me in, she had an acct but not a DNA test, I tested and couldnt figure out how my matches related to me, but I contacted a cousin (Brooke) , she couldnt figure it out either, but Brooke had messaged the woman who turned out to be my mom- because mom had a tree up that came up in a search, so Brooke messaged her, mom got it and told me later she saw it and thought "I dont know anyone named Brooke ____ in my family" and deleted it, then my search angel Nancy messaged mom and mom almost deleted that one for the same reason, the ONLY reason she didnt was because Nancy included her PHONE NUMBER and asked her to call her, so, curiosity got the better of her and she called Nancy who told her she had someone in the other window in a chat that she thinks is her son she gave up for adoption, well that's how we connected!
Mom said she got a LOT of messages from people thru the system and became suspicious, I guess a lot of people find scammers and more contacting them so they stop responding.
I guess I'm of a different generation that I think the best of people before deleting messages. I'm in my mid thirties so technology doesn't bother me, but I understand the hesitation of it all since most avid Ancestry/genealogists are retired and spend a lot of their free time doing things. Maybe Ancestry should add something that says "Responds to messages regularly" or something like that. Even though the may log in and add things they don't respond. Kind of like on facebook pages where they say "This person responds in a few minutes, or a week, or a month." or whatever. But also, that is a great story. It sounds like it was a happy ending.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
They may not see it, especially if using an app.
True. I haven't quite just jumped onto the App. I use the website. But I believe a notification pops up if you get a message.
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