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Don't judge someone by how they treat those they feel are their equal or superior, you judge them by how they treat those they feel are beneath them. I've encountered many northerners (mostly from big city areas) who carried an attitude of superiority over people from the south. These are usually people who refer the central and southern states as "fly-over" country.
No kidding. As a transplant myself, if I've seen one of those, I've seen a million.
The absolute worst? The ones who move to the South because of economic opportunity that simply didn't exist in their home states, and then start complaining the minute the moving van is unpacked.
They complain about the heat and the humidity. Then they complain that there aren't really cold winters.
They complain about kids saying 'Sir' and 'Ma'am.'
They complain about how Southerners interact with one another.
They complain about how many churches there are.
They, get this, complain about cashiers at the grocery store actually being friendly and helpful.
They complain about how Southerners do everything. And they do it with Southerners standing there, never realizing how insulting they are.
In that sense, I'll tell you how Southerners are markedly superior. Southerners almost to a person have far, far better people skills. They have better manners, seem to be better attuned to others, are more patient with others, and are generally a heck of a lot more considerate. Oh, to be sure, there's the occasional rude Southerner and polite Northerner. But on the whole, having lived here quite a while now, I've begun to wonder if people north of the Ohio River and the Mason Dixon Line were collectively raised by wolves.
It's really embarrassing if you think about it. And yet lots of Northerners like to look down on Southerners. Go figure.
I think after 5 years if you are still miserable you should go back to where you feel is "home." Most people feel "at home" after 2-3 years. If you are still that homesick it's not worth it. What is keeping you in FL anyway? Afraid to leave your parents? Why can't you plan to visit every few months. You gave it a try, it didn't work, so move back.
I got a job in East Tennessee right out of grad school and lived there for two years. The mountains were nice for motorcycle riding, and I did like the mild winters, but I would never want to live there permanently. I think my biggest issues with the Knoxville area were the prevailing hatred of bicyclists, the boring architecture, the lack of non-chain restaurants in my area, and the obsession with watching (not playing) sports. I found most people to be very friendly, and I learned quickly not to mention religion or lack thereof.
If I had kids I would be worried about the quality of education, but that was not an issue for me at the time. Overall I found Tennessee to have much better race relations than Chicago, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, or Columbus.
I know my wife would move to the south in a second because she hates being cold more than anything else, and her idea of cold is anything below 70 degrees. On the other hand, her politics are very much at odds with the majority in the southeast, so if we move south someday it will probably be to the west coast.
Don't judge someone by how they treat those they feel are their equal or superior, you judge them by how they treat those they feel are beneath them. I've encountered many northerners (mostly from big city areas) who carried an attitude of superiority over people from the south. These are usually people who refer the central and southern states as "fly-over" country.
I guess I fail your test of goodness, then.
If I have a lot of choices of places and want to move, I tend to look for areas that I'll be most accepted in, so I can make friends. How would one ever know how they are treating those whom they believe are beneath them before moving, anyway?
I also think that people of any sort have, in general, a much easier time assimilating in a big city.
In that sense, I'll tell you how Southerners are markedly superior. Southerners almost to a person have far, far better people skills. They have better manners, seem to be better attuned to others, are more patient with others, and are generally a heck of a lot more considerate.
I can understand your feeling that way, but can you understand that, to a northerner, those southern people skills can be mistranslated as overtures to friendship, and when they are shocked when they realize they are not accepted as friends at all?
This, to a northerner, whittles down to a superficial charm, a duplicity, a suspicion that people smile to your face, but behind your back feel another way.
When social skills convey a message opposite of the truth it is tantamount to a lie.
Something like the woman who teaches Sunday School and tells her husband she dearly loves him, yet sees nothing wrong with having the occasional lover on the side.
met alot of religious hypocrites here in the south(georgia). nothin worse than working in a restaurant on a sunday! lived here for over 20 years. moved from jersey and miss it every day. people are pretty much the same no matter where one goes. theres a certain "vibe" and old comfy feeling about the north. hard to understand and describe the feeling. kinda miss the blunt honesty i experience when i visit.
I can understand your feeling that way, but can you understand that, to a northerner, those southern people skills can be mistranslated as overtures to friendship, and when they are shocked when they realize they are not accepted as friends at all?
This, to a northerner, whittles down to a superficial charm, a duplicity, a suspicion that people smile to your face, but behind your back feel another way.
When social skills convey a message opposite of the truth it is tantamount to a lie.
Something like the woman who teaches Sunday School and tells her husband she dearly loves him, yet sees nothing wrong with having the occasional lover on the side.
I'm sorry. But you just made a ridiculous argument. What you just essentially said is that because a person is inherently nice to others, that person should be blamed for not being your best friend for life?
To me, that's not the fault of the Southerner, but rather a lack of basic social skills on your part. I guess it's because we Northerners are so starved for civility or hospitality that we take any kind words as an overture. Look, if Southerners want to be your friends, they'll tell you or accept your invitation to dinner. If they don't, they'll still be polite. How this is their fault is beyond me.
My wife. As much for the weather as it is because her girls are still in Michigan. My wife hates the extended summers (huh?) the lack of snow in December (why?)
snow is beautiful and peaceful and makes everything just seem like all is right in the world. keep the beauty of it seperate from the shoveling of it. and yes too much heat can become oppressive. throw in humidity and you have a recipe for short tempers and failing a/c units. here it gets so bad you actually cant breathe the air its so heavy.
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