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Well, I left my small home town in the country about 12 years ago too. I couldn't wait to get out and see what else was out there. We've moved about 3 times since then. Once to Tucson (loved it), Irvine (also loved it), and now in Palm Springs area (hate it). I wouldn't trade the experience for anything, but like you I long to go home. It's funny when I go back there I realize I never went farther than 10 mile radius from my hometown. There are so many things I love to do there that I never did while I was there before because I was so focused on "getting out". I've also had 2 Uncles, an Aunt, and a cousin I grew up with die in the last 6 months. I'm starting to realize what I was always telling myself about going back home someday because it will all still be there is not always the case
Only you can make the decision if being around family is worth is to you. I agree that leaving a job you love is hard, but other than that why not do it, and if you don't like it, go somewhere else? You're not stuck with the decision for the rest of your life. It's a hard one to make though. Best of luck to you.
I moved out of south florida then a few years later moved back. Remembered why it was that I left in the first place and hauled ass out of there again and never looked back
I ran away for a year only so I could find work. I found a job back home and returned so I could hang out with old highschool and college friends. Had a lot of fun the last 5 years. But now all my friends have moved away or gotten married. I'm still single and am bored on weekends. I think it's time to check out that big city called Chicago
Well, I've been back in a state I left for a few years just long enough to remember why I wanted to leave it in the first place. But I've decided, due to my advancing years, I better just stay here and try to "bloom where I'm planted". I'm going to try, anyway. Unless the bottom completely falls out (job loss, neighborhood turns too rough, etc.). I won't hesitate to try somwhere else if I have too. I refuse to be miserable.
I too left what was then a very small town of Columbia, IL 23 yrs ago. I have been on the fence about moving 'back home' for the past 5 yrs. My life has taken big changes in the past few yrs. I adopted my first foster child--wan't planning to adopt- but God had another plan.
I am now moving back to Kirkwood, MO by the end of the summer. When I left at age 22 I was too busy with my self absorbed partying to appreciate the many activities available right across the river!! Also it was a different time, St. Louis seemed far away, but was not really. My son will go to an excellent public school with many services available if he needs them and there are many activities for me--but I have to be willing to go out and look for them!!
I would suggest you make a pro/con list to staying put/ moving back. Also do think carefully about being close but not too close to home. I almost went back to Columbia-which is a great small city-- but thankfully remembered that I have been separated from my family by several states for more years than not--now I will be within 1/2 hr from everyone and not closer than 20 min from anyone!!
My son has also helped me remember that home is where and what we make of it. I can't expect to sit in my house and excitement will just come to me. I have to be willing to extend myself to cultivate the life I want for us.
Life is short, and time goes on regardless of my activity or inactivity.
I read your post, then I went to New England for a week. I was born in NY but I moved to New England to try and set down roots. I found the weather seriously cold for me and I started believing an aunt who lives here in Florida that Florida would be good for my family and we should move down here. She promised a job with the school system and a community feeling and lots of nature and quiet around. It has been anything but what she said. I feel duped. So, I went back up to NH as part of business and it was like a twilight zone feeling. I felt like I still lived there, like I should just move back into my old life again. While sitting in a restaurant, I kept thinking about going back to my old apt complex and fixing things up or going online, when I haven't lived there in 5 years. I thought about this forum and this post and wondered what what going on in my head.
I don't feel like this about NY and that's where I was born and raised. When I go back there, I feel a definite separation from NY and that my home is not there.
I feel like it was the right thing to move out of the city we lived in while in NH but probably NOT out of NH itself. I feel it was the wrong decision to move down to FL and I haven't been happy in 5 yrs since I've been here. I kind of long to move back to the mountains of NH and try and take the winters. Perhaps that is what is happening to you? It was right to leave your hometown but maybe you are still not in the right place for you now?
My husband is from The Netherlands. He feels America is his home and "plants his flag" here despite his whole side of his family still living in Europe and despite me never being happy in one place and having to follow me around like a gypsy. He will stay in America though(if he knows what's good for him) ;-)
My sister lives in Munich, Germany. She goes through a whole lot of strange feelings when returning to America but she's going to stay in Germany.
As for me, I guess when I find a place I am content with, well, maybe I won't think too much about going back. I am not staying put though. Next month I am renting an RV and going to travel back north again, perhaps upstate NY and see if anything is to my liking up there. It's has to be easier to make a living elsewhere then in Florida.
I gladly moved out of Belgium in 1985 but now I'm back since 2006. After trying to go back to the US last year and ending up on the street and being forced to come back here, it's.... a long story. This is not the place I want to spend the rest of my life but for now I am here till something better comes up. It seems if you really don't feel at home someplace, chances are you never will. maybe there are exceptions but for most it's true.
I think you're just going through some natural phases of life. Most/many people become self-abosrbed/selfish/ego centric when in their early 20's. This is part of the maturing cycle. Otherwise they would never leave the nest. Its almost something you have to go through to become fully independent. Otherwise, if you clung to the family, home, roots, etc, well, 30-40 years later you'd still be there.
Now, at age 28 or thereabouts, you're confident of your own identity, now its time to 'come home' as a fully formed adult. Just as you followed your gut and left at 18, perhaps now its time to follow your gut again and come back 'home'.
I never wanted to leave, but circumstances made it necessary. I was gone for several years and didn't like the place I was in but wasn't ready to go home. So I moved to another state, which I hated and eventually went home.
My family had all died off while I was gone so I am haunted by ghosts from the past. I find myself going by places where I lived with them and remembering certain things. This leaves me sad and lonely but I still feel very familiar with everything here and there is security in that. I grew up among the people here and even though I haven't connected with any old friends, I still know how to relate here.
One of the other states I lived in was more open and accepting of differences and the other state was very oppressive. Home is somewhere in the middle and quite comfortable to me. I'm glad I had the experiences I did living elsewhere because it helped me grow and gain independence but I think I made the right decision to come home.
Ran away over a decade ago, go back to visit and see the sites but thats all.
Actually reading a book on my old hometown, about 150 years ago to present day and it makes me long for home, BUT that's when we need to plan a visit, go up, and see how much has changed/stayed the same.
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