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Good description in the bolded. Listen, I grew up in NJ, thirty miles northwest of Manhattan. My parents rarely went to New York, and the only time I was ever there as a kid was on school trips to places like the UN. (We never did go to the Statue of Liberty, which I finally visited for the first time at age 31 when someone from Wisconsin wanted to see it.) When I started to work in the city and became enthralled with Manhattan at the age of 20, I bought my parents tickets to a Broadway play, thinking it was something they'd just never gotten a chance to do. They later said that they would have walked out because the language was so foul except that they knew how much I had paid for their ticket. The parking was expensive. The traffic was awful. Blah blah blah. Didn't do that again.
Anyway, my point is that you don't even have to go as far as New Hampshire to find the people to whom the city is outside their "zone of safety". When my daughter started school, I moved back to that same hometown to raise her in a place with family nearby and good schools, and again I realized how provincial these people were despite the fact that you can see Manhattan's skyline from the center of town. Most of the moms in my town were SAHMs to begin with, and most could not fathom that I commuted to the city every day. "You take the TRAIN? Every DAY? I could NEVER!"
For some people, that zone of safety is pretty limited. Yet, I've had coworkers who, for example, grew up on a farm in Indiana and decided after college that she wanted to work in Manhattan and packed up and moved all alone to NJ to give the city a shot. That's courage!
You are correct to say that there are people in New Jersey that see NYC as being outside their "zone of safety." A relative of mine for years used to think the city was an awful place, before that individual was shown many different parts of the city. So, yes, you do not have to travel that far to see that sort of mentality. On the other hand, if you were to spend a lot of time in rural New England, the Southeast or Midwest, you will notice that the feeling for "small town security" is more prevalent. I am not saying it is absent in New jersey, just that I noticed more of it in rural New Hampshire and rural Florida.
I have lived in New York and other places around the country. I have long noticed that most people seem to have a negative opinion of Northeasterners, but especially New Yorkers. I have always thought it was just mere stereotyping, but after reading a lot of these threads, I am wondering this: is there an actual dislike of people from the NYC area or is it really just a stereotype? I am not justifying stereotyping either. I don't hold negative views of New Yorkers or any other group, and I ask that only respectful and thoughtful replies be made. This is NOT meant to be a troll thread or to start an argument.
I go to New York City often and I have never felt any disdain towards New York City or New Yorkers. It's an interesting, diverse and fast-paced megacity where there's a lot going on 24/7/365. That's how I've viewed it all along.
I've got the double whammy going. I'm a native new yorker living in California. Conservative, Middle America seems to hate, and at the same time, envy both states
Yeah, ok
Nobody in Texas envies NY state for sure
Many don't envy California either.... sorry to burst your unfounded arrogance bubble
Most here don't even mention NY much less show distain for it
As a non-NYer who has lived in the 6th bourgough (Miami/Ft. Lauderdale), I would like to chime in.
NYers are generally disliked because they are:
generally loud/obnoxious compared to others
arrogant
Always talk about NYC ("YOU haven't been to NYC?!?!")
aggressive/scammer types
bad attitude
rude (a large presence of them in a city can make the city feel more rude)
most aggressive drivers even when not necessary
even uneducated NYers think they are smarter or more refined than people with same education outside of NY.
Into superficial flashy things (BMW and cosmetic surgery means you have arrived instead of education, home ownership, etc.)
This is only NYCers. People from upstate are some of the nicest people I have ever met. The remind me more of quite New England people (Not Boston).
As a non-NYer who has lived in the 6th bourgough (Miami/Ft. Lauderdale), I would like to chime in.
NYers are generally disliked because they are:
generally loud/obnoxious compared to others
arrogant
Always talk about NYC ("YOU haven't been to NYC?!?!")
aggressive/scammer types
bad attitude
rude (a large presence of them in a city can make the city feel more rude)
most aggressive drivers even when not necessary
even uneducated NYers think they are smarter or more refined than people with same education outside of NY.
Into superficial flashy things (BMW and cosmetic surgery means you have arrived instead of education, home ownership, etc.)
This is only NYCers. People from upstate are some of the nicest people I have ever met. The remind me more of quite New England people (Not Boston).
Exactly! A lot of others tried to avoid saying this, or tried to write it all off as being misunderstood because they are "rushed". My experience there was that they do truly think their area is the center of the universe, and the arrogance/rudeness/bad attitudes are what I witnessed a lot, and are what a lot of people I know who have been there come back reporting as well. Of course not everyone there is like that, but this is the type of behavior that "bubbles to the top" so to speak giving people the impression that all NYers are that way.
I was born and raised in NYC and never really understood why some people hated NYC and New Yorkers so much. As far as I was concerned I knew a lot of cool people growing up so I thought people were just being jealous or were misinformed.
Then I moved. LOL
My whole family and all the inlaws omn my side were born and raised in NYC. Since I got married we have moved around to several cities, some of them small college towns. Every time one of my relatives/friends from home comes to visit, the following happens:
1. They complain about how there is nothing to do.
2. They wonder aloud why anyone would want to live there.
3. They constantly compare the place to NYC and talk about how "slow" it is, how it's not a "real city".
This has happened whether it was a small town or a major city. When I was in Boston, my sister told me my neighborhood was "backwards" because the streets were narrow and some of the roads were wind-y. I said its like that in parts of Queens too. She said "not in the good parts".
Once when we lived in a semi-suburban college town, I complained to my other sister that I had to wait 2 weeks to get an appointment with my GYN and she told me "well what do you expect, they only have 1 backwoods doctor in that cow town of yours". I told her there were way more doctors here than that and that I had to wait that long in Brooklyn too, and she told me I was lying trying to cover up just how boring my town was. In another convo, I told her our town had a sizeable tourist-based economy and she rolled her eyes and said "No it doesn't, what the hell would anyone spend money there for?" (it was in the Fingerlakes region). It was like talking to a wall. LOL
I would throw rock at them but I realize I probably sounded like that before I left too. SMH.
Exactly! A lot of others tried to avoid saying this, or tried to write it all off as being misunderstood because they are "rushed". My experience there was that they do truly think their area is the center of the universe, and the arrogance/rudeness/bad attitudes are what I witnessed a lot, and are what a lot of people I know who have been there come back reporting as well. Of course not everyone there is like that, but this is the type of behavior that "bubbles to the top" so to speak giving people the impression that all NYers are that way.
In my experiences people actually from New York are genuine, honest and down to earth albeit aggressive, direct and yes, loud.
Very similar to Philly in some ways.
IMO, it's the transplants (not all) that move to New York that think they instantly have to morph into this narcissistic, emotionless rat racer.
These are the people that give true New Yorkers a bad name.
I've got the double whammy going. I'm a native new yorker living in California. Conservative, Middle America seems to hate, and at the same time, envy both states
We don't envy the taxes, cost of living and nanny aspects. As a former NYer you can trust me on that. My thoughts are the way of thinking that made both places so unbearingly expensive to live in and so overly regulated/micromanaged should not come with the people who leave those places for other states.
I was born and raised in NYC and never really understood why some people hated NYC and New Yorkers so much. As far as I was concerned I knew a lot of cool people growing up so I thought people were just being jealous or were misinformed.
Then I moved. LOL
My whole family and all the inlaws omn my side were born and raised in NYC. Since I got married we have moved around to several cities, some of them small college towns. Every time one of my relatives/friends from home comes to visit, the following happens:
1. They complain about how there is nothing to do.
2. They wonder aloud why anyone would want to live there.
3. They constantly compare the place to NYC and talk about how "slow" it is, how it's not a "real city".
This has happened whether it was a small town or a major city. When I was in Boston, my sister told me my neighborhood was "backwards" because the streets were narrow and some of the roads were wind-y. I said its like that in parts of Queens too. She said "not in the good parts".
Once when we lived in a semi-suburban college town, I complained to my other sister that I had to wait 2 weeks to get an appointment with my GYN and she told me "well what do you expect, they only have 1 backwoods doctor in that cow town of yours". I told her there were way more doctors here than that and that I had to wait that long in Brooklyn too, and she told me I was lying trying to cover up just how boring my town was. In another convo, I told her our town had a sizeable tourist-based economy and she rolled her eyes and said "No it doesn't, what the hell would anyone spend money there for?" (it was in the Fingerlakes region). It was like talking to a wall. LOL
I would throw rock at them but I realize I probably sounded like that before I left too. SMH.
As someone who was born in the Bronx, raised in the NYC area (Northern NJ specifically) and now have lived in two other diverse areas of the country (New Mexico, St. Louis area) I can say this description is spot-on. Having family members and friends who still reside in New Jersey, what you have said here is precisely what I've experienced as well, when it comes to the occasional banter I still have with people who still live there, which is to say, not much any longer.
Case in point, my sister and I were having a conversation about a doctor's visit not too long ago, where the procedure I encountered both in the lobby and the way I was facilitated in the office differed from New Jersey. My sister was quick to point out this is because "the doctors office where you live has no idea what they are doing. We have better doctors here."
Freeze that frame and consider the arrogance inferred by it. Mind you, this is one example. The same observations regarding inferiority family and friends will make when it comes to
1) Supermarkets/food
2) Highways/road conditions
3) General level of service (i.e. wait times on lines)
4) Lack of sophistication of area residents
As this poster said, she experienced these overtures in BOSTON. A city and MSA that has many comparables to NYC in my estimation.
I say this as someone who lived in the area for almost 40 years.
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