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Wasn't Atlanta where the Asian spa shootings happened? What are you doing recommending such a dangerous place to a fellow Asian?
Yeah Atlanta and many parts of Florida do not seem to be the friendliest places towards Asians based on news reports and reputation but I do not have lived experience. Orlando might be pretty welcoming.
I think your best bet are wide swaths of LA metro, particularly places like Arcadia or Temple City, or the SF Bay Area especially San Jose. Secondary major hubs would be Seattle (Bellevue in particular) and parts of Boston, NY, and maybe Houston. Possibly a large contingent in Las Vegas but that might be more the tourists than the locals.
Honolulu being racist might be in reference to the idea that Hawaiians aren't necessarily the most welcoming to people who aren't actually from there on a long term basis? Super friendly to tourists and visitors though of all races.
Yeah there is something fishy about the OP. How could Honolulu be the most racist city against Asians when the place is basically majority Asian. Guy must walk around with a cinder block on his shoulder.
Honolulu was the most racist place because of me being white. My kids being half white. Dealt with endless BS all because of not being “local” but my Vietnamese wife was automatically “local”. I’d have people waiting to fight me for going surfing, get denied service at places, charged more, not promoted. I lived there for 5 years and the place is amazing, the people are straight diarrhea.
Honolulu was the most racist place because of me being white. My kids being half white. Dealt with endless BS all because of not being “local” but my Vietnamese wife was automatically “local”. I’d have people waiting to fight me for going surfing, get denied service at places, charged more, not promoted. I lived there for 5 years and the place is amazing, the people are straight diarrhea.
I've heard a lot about the anti-haole sentiment that apparently exists in Honolulu, in fact in Hawaii in general. To be sure, I haven't experienced it myself, because my only connection with Hawaii is as a tourist, and the reputation that the local residents are friendly to tourists has certainly been my experience. I'm surprised that your children would have been impacted by racism, given how many hapa people there are there.
As for places where this won't be a problem, if you're looking for an upper-middle-class suburb, I invite you consider my very own Howard County, Maryland, located to the north of Washington and the southwest of Baltimore. Plenty of Asian people here, and a decent number of mixed couples, though not as many as one might expect, probably because a decent chunk of our Asian population is first-generation. But we're known for being tolerant about interracial relationships in general.
Move to the Bay Area. Many, many mixed white/Asian couples, in and around San Francisco from what I've seen there. I suspect that whatever social pressure on the white guy in these situations might come from the spouses's friends and family for marrying outside the race, rather than the general populace--who basically, it seems, doesn't give a s**t because there are so many mixed marriages there.
Honolulu was the most racist place because of me being white. My kids being half white. Dealt with endless BS all because of not being “local” but my Vietnamese wife was automatically “local”. I’d have people waiting to fight me for going surfing, get denied service at places, charged more, not promoted. I lived there for 5 years and the place is amazing, the people are straight diarrhea.
Ok that made sense, although what you're describing is more of an anti-outsider than pure racism.
To find a place where both you and your family would get minimal BS I would recommend any large, growing city, places where nonlocals outnumber locals. Very few places in the US in this day and age care about interracial relationships, especially in large urban areas. I would say Houston is a good place if your wife cares about being near other Vietnamese and having Vietnamese amenities.
I think fighting to go surfing is not exclusive to white folks in Hawaii. Locals everywhere jealously guard their favorite surfing spots. There are very few surfers in Galveston, Texas though so competition would not be an issue regardless of your color.
Honolulu was the most racist place because of me being white. My kids being half white. Dealt with endless BS all because of not being “local” but my Vietnamese wife was automatically “local”. I’d have people waiting to fight me for going surfing, get denied service at places, charged more, not promoted. I lived there for 5 years and the place is amazing, the people are straight diarrhea.
I lived in Honolulu in my early 20s, long before I ever got married (my wife is South Asian)
This was in the early 2000s. I get what you're saying and I did have to deal with some of that nonsense as well. I heard it could be even worse when you have kids in school.
Still, the place has many amazing people, but the schools are lousy and I wouldn't return with my wife and daughter.
Honolulu was the most racist place because of me being white. My kids being half white. Dealt with endless BS all because of not being “local” but my Vietnamese wife was automatically “local”. I’d have people waiting to fight me for going surfing, get denied service at places, charged more, not promoted. I lived there for 5 years and the place is amazing, the people are straight diarrhea.
Honolulu was the most racist place because of me being white. My kids being half white. Dealt with endless BS all because of not being “local” but my Vietnamese wife was automatically “local”. I’d have people waiting to fight me for going surfing, get denied service at places, charged more, not promoted. I lived there for 5 years and the place is amazing, the people are straight diarrhea.
As a black person I can attest have heard Hawaii is very racist toward white people from white and non-white people.. So I believe you.
But yea base doff prevalence and QOL id recommend Seattle or Cambridge/MetroWest. Tons of Asians in the wealthy suburbs in between Boston and Worcester. Many mixed-race families too.
As a black person I can attest have heard Hawaii is very racist toward white people from white and non-white people.. So I believe you.
But yea base doff prevalence and QOL id recommend Seattle or Cambridge/MetroWest. Tons of Asians in the wealthy suburbs in between Boston and Worcester. Many mixed-race families too.
Wouldn't OP also run into similar issues at places with 'tons of Asians' on the mainland?
Sounds like he's dealing with 3 different situations:
BS he has to put up with because he's white.
BS the wife and kids have to put up with because they're Asian.
BS from people who have trouble with interracial families.
I think the third one is relatively uncommon in 2021 and usually don't go beyond the occasional dagger looks. He might get it more often from Asian men who think he poached one of their own than from white racists so staying away from other Asians might be the way to go to minimize it. The same goes for the first type of BS.
On the other hand in places where there are few Asians his wife might get covid related hate crime attacks while she goes shopping at Costco. While most of those aren't physical some were and there were fatalities. Even places like NYC and Bay Area had seen violent anti-Asian hate crime so I don't know how you can avoid it, but at least there are plenty of other targets around for the local hate crime perpetrator and maybe his wife can go out in groups with others like her.
Being one of the very few students of your race at school really sucks. I really hope OP does not move to a mostly white area just to avoid BS going his way.
We are a mixed family too. I find that places with more insular asian populations can be tougher on mixed race families, so Honolulu doesn’t actually surprise me that much. That said, most of mainland US has been fine from our perspective. Smaller towns where there are almost no Asians at all can be a bit rude towards my asian husband. We didn’t love living in Springfield MO because people said stupid clueless stuff all the time. People were rudest to us to Vancouver, Canada honestly. We are in the central suburbs of St. Louis and my kids know a lot of kids who have very similar families to ours. We wouldn’t move to an exurb where they’d be an anomaly. I really think most larger cities in the US would work, but you want to stick to the more educated, more diverse areas. That’s our experience anyway. Places where all sorts of people tend to want to live are the best…
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