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Another city to consider is Richmond, VA. Lots of nice, scenic trails close by or in the city, less hectic, low traffic (20 minutes at peak), diverse, good job market for young professionals, more than enough breweries, good food options for its size, and plenty of day trip options. I was there for half a week and liked the cool, relaxed but dynamic vibe.
I don't know if Charlotte or Houston will be that much less hectic than NJ to be worth it. Orlando would be a retread. The other options feel a little too isolated.
Honest, if I were in OP's shoes and had enough savings or could work remotely I'd just try living in all the cities that interest me and see for myself. People fall in love with places all the time for reasons that make sense only to them.
When this thread started I was going to bring up this subject because to me the thought of a guy and his husband settling in the South is quite odd, to say the least. I kept quiet because I didn't want to derail the thread and get it into politics.
As I see it, the best areas in this country for gay people are New England, the NYC metro, and the entire state of New Jersey. There are few other bright spots such as California's big cities and the Miami metro, but in a lot of other places it is touch and go, particularly south of the Mason Dixon Line. Even big cities such as Philadelphia and Baltimore, both of which have sizable gay populations, traveling outside those cities into rural areas of Pennsylvania and Maryland can be kind of iffy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TarHeelNick
Do you think bigotry doesn't exist in rural areas of states in the Northeast (or urban areas in any region for that matter)? Do you really think that a day trip from Raleigh or Charlotte to the Blue Ridge Mountains or NC coast puts one driving through significantly more rural/conservative areas and perceived "threats" from those areas than a day trip from the NYC metro to the Adirondacks or Finger Lakes?
Very silly.
To answer your question, yes, I do. Two reasons: 1) In New England, and New Jersey, there are rural areas and small towns that are gay friendly. Examples are Provincetown, MA, Northampton, MA, Princeton, NJ and Lambertville, NJ. I don't see anything like those towns down south. 2) The NYC metro area is so huge that many people have fled to the Hudson Valley and upstate. So it is now not unusual to see gays vacationing in those towns and even having summer homes up there.
My suggestions for the OP would be Ann Arbor, MI and Madison, WI. They are smaller cities with a young vibe and plenty to do and just a short drive away there are big cities with major league sports.
When this thread started I was going to bring up this subject because to me the thought of a guy and his husband settling in the South is quite odd, to say the least. I kept quiet because I didn't want to derail the thread and get it into politics.
As I see it, the best areas in this country for gay people are New England, the NYC metro, and the entire state of New Jersey. There are few other bright spots such as California's big cities and the Miami metro, but in a lot of other places it is touch and go, particularly south of the Mason Dixon Line. Even big cities such as Philadelphia and Baltimore, both of which have sizable gay populations, traveling outside those cities into rural areas of Pennsylvania and Maryland can be kind of iffy.
To answer your question, yes, I do. Two reasons: 1) In New England, and New Jersey, there are rural areas and small towns that are gay friendly. Examples are Provincetown, MA, Northampton, MA, Princeton, NJ and Lambertville, NJ. I don't see anything like those towns down south. 2) The NYC metro area is so huge that many people have fled to the Hudson Valley and upstate. So it is now not unusual to see gays vacationing in those towns and even having summer homes up there.
My suggestions for the OP would be Ann Arbor, MI and Madison, WI. They are smaller cities with a young vibe and plenty to do and just a short drive away there are big cities with major league sports.
I'm confused...
How is Miami okay, but Philadelphia and Baltimore are not?
How are Michigan and Wisconsin (and I guess Florida) okay, but Pennsylvania and Maryland are not?
As a gay man, I have no hesitation suggesting Pennsylvania or Maryland for gay couples. Maryland has a great track record for LGBT support (MD legalized same-sex marriage before New Jersey).
Pennsylvania lags behind most of the Northeast, but has made good progress in recent years, and PA legalized same-sex marriage before Michigan, Wisconsin, and the Supreme Court ruling. (And the "bright spots" in PA don't stop at the Philadelphia border).
I can see arguments against deep red Southern States, but writing off PA and MD? Come on...
Do you think bigotry doesn't exist in rural areas of states in the Northeast (or urban areas in any region for that matter)? Do you really think that a day trip from Raleigh or Charlotte to the Blue Ridge Mountains or NC coast puts one driving through significantly more rural/conservative areas and perceived "threats" from those areas than a day trip from the NYC metro to the Adirondacks or Finger Lakes?
Very silly.
Actually yes.
I’ve been throughout the more rural parts of New England, upstate New York, and Pennsylvania. People there are very tolerant of alternative lifestyles. They have respect of others and don’t feel everyone has to live like they do. They aren’t in your face with their religion and beliefs.
I’ve seen gay and lesbian couples in these areas openly expressing affection towards each other. It’s well accepted. Many New York City and Boston gay and lesbians have second homes in these areas so it’s not a big deal.
You can’t say that in the Red south. And that is the majority of these states. That’s why they have the politics they have. It’s the majority of voters otherwise they wouldn’t be Red and implementing the laws they implement.
I mean, in the cities in Red Southern states, they are extremely well received. Yes there is some hostility in the rural areas and the state government but I doubt they would be interested in living somewhere where they wouldnt be welcomed.
Its the old argument of "there is no tolerant place in a red state because of the government of the state". For example, can we say Austin or Orlando are bad places for LGBTQ+ people simply because of the state's government? I dont think so.
Who said “there is no tolerant place in a red state”? Thats not what I or anyone said.
But those states wouldn’t have the politics they have if that isn’t what the majority of voters put in place and support.
If the OP wants to stick to just the major cities and ignore their state’s political agenda, they will be fine. But most northerners are well educated and have care and concerns beyond just themselves. If the OP and his husband care and don’t mind being closeted when they leave urban areas, they will be fine. But if they want to be open about their relationship and love, they should consider other states.
How is Miami is okay, but Philadelphia and Baltimore are not?
How are Michigan and Wisconsin (and I guess Florida) okay, but Pennsylvania and Maryland are not?
As a gay man, I have no hesitation suggesting Pennsylvania or Maryland for gay couples. Maryland has a great track record for LGBT support (MD legalized same-sex marriage before New Jersey).
Pennsylvania lags behind most of the Northeast, but has made good progress in recent years, and PA legalized same-sex marriage before Michigan, Wisconsin, and the Supreme Court ruling. (And the "bright spots" in PA don't stop at the Philadelphia border).
I can see arguments against deep red Southern States, but writing off PA and MD? Come on...
Very good points. I’ve been to rural parts of Pennsylvania and have seen gay couples being open about their relationship. Maryland is similar. It is because the vast majority of people in these states have respect for others alternative lifestyles. They aren’t in your face with their religion or beliefs. You can’t say that about the south. They are out to make their path yours and everyone else’s. It’s why their state politics are what they are.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayCT
Very good points. I’ve been to rural parts of Pennsylvania and have seen gay couples being open about their relationship. Maryland is similar. It is because the vast majority of people in these states have respect for others alternative lifestyles. They aren’t in your face with their religion or beliefs. You can’t say that about the south. They are out to make their path yours and everyone else’s. It’s why their state politics are what they are.
I honestly don't know if youve spent much time in rural parts of red states. They aren't all the same. Youd be amazed at how many places are actually tolerant of LGBTQ+ people and minorites and yes of course some are not. I mean the only place Ive ever experienced overt, in my face racism was in Chicago and Id still tell you Chicago is my favorite city in the US.
But again, weve certainly given the OP enough fodder. Lets let him come back and give his two cents to our two cents.
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