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Rural places in the south are different than rural places in California. Even the reddest republicans have told me that. And my travels have confirmed. California and the northeast is different than the south, at least rural parts. As I’ve stated as nauseum every city in Texas and Alabama has gay people and they likely aren’t harassed. That I will acknowledge. But look at the laws they’re passing or the federal mandates they’re ignoring. That is meaningful imo
Who said “there is no tolerant place in a red state”? Thats not what I or anyone said.
But those states wouldn’t have the politics they have if that isn’t what the majority of voters put in place and support.
If the OP wants to stick to just the major cities and ignore their state’s political agenda, they will be fine. But most northerners are well educated and have care and concerns beyond just themselves. If the OP and his husband care and don’t mind being closeted when they leave urban areas, they will be fine. But if they want to be open about their relationship and love, they should consider other states.
I swear this is the last post I participated in this long derailed, virtual signaling thread. (I feel bad for the OP. He didn’t ask to be judged by his age, sexual orientation and political stance.)
1: Google Brother’s Keeper. (If you haven’t heard or read already.) Upstate New York.
2: I lived in the middle of Manhattan for 15 yrs so I knew/know enough “Northerners”. Gay men have significant presence and influence in fashion/art/design/architecture/creativity industries I worked in. I’ll forever be their biggest ally and supporter. It’s been a strong and ongoing trend since even before Covid for many of them to either move out of NYC for a weekend home or for good to escape the high cost of living/rat race….etc. Among them they always caution the fellow gay community to never buy/visit certain Upstate NY towns (or NW PA towns) because (these are their exactly words): “they love their guns, they hate gays, blacks and Democrats”. College towns are fine, big (big is relative here because Albany is not a “big city”.) cities like Albany or Buffalo are blue but the surrounding areas can be very MAGA. (Not so much different from the Southern cities.) Even rural Sussex county in NW NJ can be very MAGA and unfriendly with gays. (The irony is the most MAGA, Africa-lion-vanity-hunting person i know lives in Austin whereas the most Joe-Rogan-worshipping person I know lives in NJ, so don’t judge someone based on the blue/red cities they live in. There’s nothing progressive about judging people because you think you’re more politically and morally superior/enlightening.)
I’ve seen some sanctimonious feign concern in this thread. I’m a “liberal” but I’m starting to hate the self righteousness of some “liberals”. The black and white thinking, lack of perspective and theory of mind…..I’m beginning to see a lot of online people showing some undiagnosed Aspie traits.
Carry on. (But don’t keep saying OP is young, he’s been showing a lot of mature emotional intelligence and frustration tolerance than a lot of posters here.)
While I think this notion that uneducated roughnecks are waiting in the countryside with pitchforks for gay couples on day trips is antiquated (not to mention disrespectful), Focker brings up a legitimate concern about how potential legislative changes like the TX abortion ban could impact life in the future. TX can operate like its own country and do whatever it wants politically because of its economic engine. On the other hand lets remember the political disaster that arose in NC from the bathroom bill 8 years ago. NC would have way too much pressure to roll back any progress made on gay marriage, not to mention would likely be waving goodbye to numerous corporate heavyweights and professional sports franchises being domiciled within the state. I don't see any conservative politician in NC wanting to take on that battle, nor do I see it getting much traction from the majority of voters in state. Having said that perhaps I am naive on the subject but I sincerely hope that isn't the case.
Let's remember:
"-Politically Moderate. No extremes in each direction. My husband leans conservative, I lean Democrat. Ee are open to all political mindsets but would prefer somewhere in the middle."
NC is probably just as close to the middle from the right hand side as NYC metro area is the middle from the left. Btw wasn't picking on TX above I also wouldn't advise against any of the TX triangle cities for OP fam.
While I think this notion that uneducated roughnecks are waiting in the countryside with pitchforks for gay couples on day trips is antiquated (not to mention disrespectful), Focker brings up a legitimate concern about how potential legislative changes like the TX abortion ban could impact life in the future. TX can operate like its own country and do whatever it wants politically because of its economic engine. On the other hand lets remember the political disaster that arose in NC from the bathroom bill 8 years ago. NC would have way too much pressure to roll back any progress made on gay marriage, not to mention would likely be waving goodbye to numerous corporate heavyweights and professional sports franchises being domiciled within the state. I don't see any conservative politician in NC wanting to take on that battle, nor do I see it getting much traction from the majority of voters in state. Having said that perhaps I am naive on the subject but I sincerely hope that isn't the case.
Let's remember:
"-Politically Moderate. No extremes in each direction. My husband leans conservative, I lean Democrat. Ee are open to all political mindsets but would prefer somewhere in the middle."
NC is probably just as close to the middle from the right hand side as NYC metro area is the middle from the left. Btw wasn't picking on TX above I also wouldn't advise against any of the TX triangle cities for OP fam.
Thank you. I’ve said it repeatedly. There are likely a lot of gays living in Selma or lufkin. And they likely love peaceful lives, aren’t harassed and *gasp have friends! But when your governor is minimizing your existence by ignoring federal mandates, you should take that into consideration.
Nobody is questioning OPs intelligence or youth. He asked for advice and he’s getting it.
Name calling, personal or ad hominem attacks means you (not you you) are avoiding the conversation and taken it personally.
I have a lot of friends in the south and in the mountain west. A lot of them are conservative. Even they say the sticks can be dangerous for gays and minorities. Hell, even my white, Herero drill sergeant told urbplatoon, pre graduation to “have fun, to my African American soldiers in the audience, don’t venture too far away from the city”. This was on Columbia
I swear this is the last post I participated in this long derailed, virtual signaling thread. (I feel bad for the OP. He didn’t ask to be judged by his age, sexual orientation and political stance.)
1: Google Brother’s Keeper. (If you haven’t heard or read already.) Upstate New York.
2: I lived in the middle of Manhattan for 15 yrs so I knew/know enough “Northerners”. Gay men have significant presence and influence in fashion/art/design/architecture/creativity industries I worked in. I’ll forever be their biggest ally and supporter. It’s been a strong and ongoing trend since even before Covid for many of them to either move out of NYC for a weekend home or for good to escape the high cost of living/rat race….etc. Among them they always caution the fellow gay community to never buy/visit certain Upstate NY towns (or NW PA towns) because (these are their exactly words): “they love their guns, they hate gays, blacks and Democrats”. College towns are fine, big (big is relative here because Albany is not a “big city”.) cities like Albany or Buffalo are blue but the surrounding areas can be very MAGA. (Not so much different from the Southern cities.) Even rural Sussex county in NW NJ can be very MAGA and unfriendly with gays. (The irony is the most MAGA, Africa-lion-vanity-hunting person i know lives in Austin whereas the most Joe-Rogan-worshipping person I know lives in NJ, so don’t judge someone based on the blue/red cities they live in. There’s nothing progressive about judging people because you think you’re more politically and morally superior/enlightening.)
I’ve seen some sanctimonious feign concern in this thread. I’m a “liberal” but I’m starting to hate the self righteousness of some “liberals”. The black and white thinking, lack of perspective and theory of mind…..I’m beginning to see a lot of online people showing some undiagnosed Aspie traits.
Carry on. (But don’t keep saying OP is young, he’s been showing a lot of mature emotional intelligence and frustration tolerance than a lot of posters here.)
This sums up my sentiments regarding the tone of some in this thread perfectly.
The notion that driving through Wayne County, NY (where I have cousins who I'm almost positive participated in Jan 6 debauchery and who definitely have confederate flag stickers on their pickup trucks despite having northern roots that go back WELL before the civil war) would somehow be "safer" for someone from a marginalized/stigmatized group to make a pit-stop in because Manhattan and Brooklyn are within the same state boundaries is asinine.
This sums up my sentiments regarding the tone of some in this thread perfectly.
The notion that driving through Wayne County, NY (where I have cousins who I'm almost positive participated in Jan 6 debauchery and who definitely have confederate flag stickers on their pickup trucks despite having northern roots that go back WELL before the civil war) would somehow be "safer" for someone from a marginalized/stigmatized group to make a pit-stop in because Manhattan and Brooklyn are within the same state boundaries is asinine.
While I agree that Deliverance or Green Book type scenarios aren't to be taken seriously in this day and age, bringing up a state's political climate is perfectly legitimate. It also shouldn't matter how sharp or dull we think the OP is - this is an internet forum and many people besides the original poster read the thread. If you don't like how certain points were made just explain why and move on.
This sums up my sentiments regarding the tone of some in this thread perfectly.
The notion that driving through Wayne County, NY (where I have cousins who I'm almost positive participated in Jan 6 debauchery and who definitely have confederate flag stickers on their pickup trucks despite having northern roots that go back WELL before the civil war) would somehow be "safer" for someone from a marginalized/stigmatized group to make a pit-stop in because Manhattan and Brooklyn are within the same state boundaries is asinine.
Places like Lyons, Sodus, Newark and even Clyde and Williamson, etc. there are relatively long time visible/substantial black and Hispanic populations in those communities to where I say it depends on who one is referring to. So, spending time at a place like this in Sodus may not be a big deal for some in that community: https://www.rochesterfirst.com/news/...ning-in-sodus/
Met a lawyer couple from Missouri today. Not totallly related to the OP but we got to chattin and I asked why they moved to the OC. Part of the answer? Small town midwesterners find professional women unusual
I’ve been throughout the more rural parts of New England, upstate New York, and Pennsylvania. People there are very tolerant of alternative lifestyles. They have respect of others and don’t feel everyone has to live like they do. They aren’t in your face with their religion and beliefs.
I’ve seen gay and lesbian couples in these areas openly expressing affection towards each other. It’s well accepted. Many New York City and Boston gay and lesbians have second homes in these areas so it’s not a big deal.
You can’t say that in the Red south. And that is the majority of these states. That’s why they have the politics they have. It’s the majority of voters otherwise they wouldn’t be Red and implementing the laws they implement.
Generalizing “the Red south” is a mistake. At least in Florida, it’s more of a libertarian state than a socially conservative one.
Overall though, places in the south intolerant of the LBGTQ community would be the exception, not the norm. It’s easy to point to the Miami’s, Atlanta’s, etc that are LBGTQ friendly, but I really can’t point to anywhere that isn’t.
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