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To answer the original question...because they gave up on their own lives.
Speaking for yourself here, I believe. People make their own choices, and if they are different than what you would choose, it doesn't make it wrong. If you have chosen to move, it makes you no better than those who choose to stay.
Could also ask why some people keep moving around chasing that perfect place that probably only exists in their imagination. This forum is certainly a magnet for that type of person, but in overall society it's probably a bit weirder than staying in the same general area all your life.
Could also ask why some people keep moving around chasing that perfect place that probably only exists in their imagination. This forum is certainly a magnet for that type of person, but in overall society it's probably a bit weirder than staying in the same general area all your life.
Certainly around the world and across history, staying put is the norm.
But in the 20th/21st century U.S., many of us have the idea that the grass is greener
in some other place than where we are, and we're willing to relocate for it.
Or maybe just for a higher-paying job.
I wouldn’t have chosen against staying in Charlotte at all. It is growing so much so fast, mass transit, urbanity, etc. it’s not static. I can imagine people in Austin, Nashville, Denver and other cities may feel the same way. Sure there’s some people in Legacy cities not growing as fast but have a sense of community and urbanity they can’t find other places.
I wish I had multiple chances in life to live in multiple places. LA, Miami, NYC, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, Madrid. I like cities more than I dislike cities (whereas sometimes on this site it’s like people like a couple cities and hate all others lol)
Family and friends was the primary reason that people questioned my move. "How could you go someplace without family or friends?" Extended family also means a lot in some places -- 2nd cousins are like siblings. Elderly parents might be another anchor. My wife would not move as long as her dad was living. Next might be job or career. Kids in school will keep people from moving. Starting over is hard and moving is expensive. It cost me about $1.00 a pound to move 1000 miles with a mover. When you consider the weight of just what is in your kitchen and then add furniture, matresses, books, etc., it starts to add up.
People are scared to relocate these days. It seems the new norm everywhere I've lived is that you move away from college but you have one foot right back in your hometown and you move there as soon as you can. I'm amazed at how many people move back and work **** jobs hoping for a good one to open up. People don't cut the cord anymore.
A lot of people are just averse to change, whether or not they consciously know this.
I come from a medium-sized family. My mom had one sister. My dad has two brothers and two sisters. Out of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and their children, only one set of grandparents and myself have lived outside of where we are from in northeast TN/southwest VA for more than one year, excluding any military service.
My area is very traditional. People tend to marry within their high school or college peer group. People marry young. Families tend to cluster together (many of my friends growing up are now raising their kids in the same neighborhood we grew up in) and are tight-knit. People will often take a significant financial hit just to remain in the area.
I've moved from TN to the Midwest...twice. I'm looking at moving to the Carolinas. I've never been particularly yoked to my hometown as a sense of place. Many of my childhood and college friends and peers have themselves moved off, some are dead, and many of those that remain here are tied down with kids and marriages - totally different life track than I've had.
Other than my immediate family, I really don't have any friends here. There's not a lot left for me here that I couldn't find elsewhere. While this area will always be my hometown, it really doesn't feel "homey" anymore.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with living somewhere because your family and friends live there. I don't understand the glorification of being a transient atomized individual trotting around the country every few years to form superficial friendships of convenience. It's all very boring and vapid.
Having moved away from my home town, and absolutely hating the new one, I wish I would have just stayed put.
There is no right or wrong about living in the same city/town all one's life. There are no rules regarding this.
I followed the myth that there was something wrong and unhealthy about being in the same region all my life, and that's part of what fueled my move. It came from me; no one else suggested it.
The only thing good that came out of the ensuing saga of moving away was seeing how great my life and my original location was. I'm doing all I can to return to my roots.
The desire for change and the excitement of change is very tempting, though it can turn out to be a complete bust. Be careful of what you wish for; you just might get it, but in wrong and unsuspecting ways.
There's something beautiful about fully connecting with one location / area. I think the Indians were on to something about their connections to particular lands, when one gets so close and connected, and why other areas were mismatches and absent of the same feel. It might even be something spiritual and beyond our senses and full understanding.
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