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17 in many places is an adult. Both my grandmothers were married at 17. A slap is a sign of a lost temper, an instant action after a split-second moment of nonthinking and allowing rage to take over. A belting takes deliberation and several seconds to even begin. It is a sign that rage is regularly indulged and that the person doesn't even bother to stop himself.
17 in many places is an adult. Both my grandmothers were married at 17. A slap is a sign of a lost temper, an instant action after a split-second moment of nonthinking and allowing rage to take over. A belting takes deliberation and several seconds to even begin. It is a sign that rage is regularly indulged and that the person doesn't even bother to stop himself.
17 and still living or being supported by parents is not an adult. Hell, id be for whipping a 22 year old that lived in the house and was still supported by the parents.
A normal controlled belting is in now way a sign of rage.
As a former teenaged girl, I used this method to guilt my parents into many things (new clothes, trips, getting away with punishment, etc.). It always worked. By the way you described the event, she doesn't seem like the type to have her feelings hurt by this but rather just the opposite. She seems pissed off and is going to "punish" you and grandfather by making you two feel guilty with the whole self starving, self isolation thing.
I agree.
Ya know, I don't think the grandfather should have gone over your head and spanked your child when you didn't approve, but I will say....
at that age, a few swats with a belt can work wonders. She thinks she's grown, but she's not. A sore butt and the pure embarrassment of being spanked at age 17 can bring her down a notch. She shouldn't be Skyping with boys in her bra, period.
Exactly what your daughter did was disrespectful to herself . She also probably said some curse words to her grandpa before you heard anything . Yeah and you need to have a serious talk with your daughter about why she felt it was okay to be in her bra skypeing with her bf ... Apparently there is not a lot of discipline in your house and because you are not home a lot she feels like she can do what she wants including mouthing off at her grandfather . Im sorry but you need to get serious with your daughter about what behavior is expected from her . Her grandfather lost his temper and yes he should not have spanked her with a belt but I tell you what if my grandfather had caught me doing the same thing I would have been worried about what my mom and dad would have done to me for the behavior . She is indeed playing you and telling you what you want to hear . You sound like you blame her mother for a lot and maybe her mother believed in disciplining her and you don't sound like you are more concerned with being her friend instead of her parent and for Gods sake stop babying her so what she did not eat or drink ? Plenty of kids have gone with out eating or drinking for a couple of days and guess what , they lived . I think you are too busy babying her instead of making her accountable for her behavior . Grandpa should have disciplined her another way instead of the belt but he did right by disciplining her .
Yes, seriously. Her actions were inappropriate, I agree. But I see no good coming out of further alienating this girl by strong arm discipline. Her mother left, and her grandfather hit her, her father needs to fill a lot a lot of roles right now. If she won't speak to him, a letter is a great way to reach out.
Since when do grandparents override parents when it comes to discipline?
When the parents are too mammy palsy to do it because "she lost so much already".
What a crock, many others have lost much more and still get disciplined and taught what is right and wrong.
When the parents are too mammy palsy to do it because "she lost so much already".
What a crock, many others have lost much more and still get disciplined and taught what is right and wrong.
At 17, the time for the version of discipline espoused here (if there ever was a time for it, I don't think so) is long gone. This father needs to keep his daughter's trust. And stand up for her.
Of course, the OP hasn't returned in over a month, so I won't either. Carry on.
Who said anything about beating anyone? There is a difference between beating someone and normal parental discipline.
The Grandfather did not beat the girl. Slapping might be a tad much but it is nothing extreme or unheard of when you mouth off to your parents for grandparents. Belt is certainly normal disciplining.
Tell me how you hit someone without beating them? There is no need to hit/beat someone to discipline them and it certainly shouldn't be considered normal just because some people refus to use their brains to teach and prefer their fists to hurt.
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It always worked. By the way you described the event, she doesn't seem like the type to have her feelings hurt by this but rather just the opposite. She seems pissed off and is going to "punish" you and grandfather by making you two feel guilty with the whole self starving, self isolation thing.
