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I would hope that if a teen did what the poster said his did, the parent would do something. Wouldn't you let your daughter know that using Skype without her shirt on? I do think that not doing so is a failure in parenting, don't you?
Where did you get the impression the father was not addressing his daughter's actions?
From the father's post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by doz884
Uh, of course that I am worried about the skyping part as well, that is my main concern. But I was supposed to deal with it, not him. Hitting a child, let alone a girl, who is in her teens... Thats just a big no-no.
I dont think that she is trying to fool me, because she is honest and nice kid. When she does something, she is not lying about it. And she is a real young lady, so I dont know why she thought that going on camera like that is fine.
I went in her room today, hugged her and asked her to talk. We were talking about the issues and she understands that what she did was wrong. About the disrespect part, she said that her grandpa had no right to tell her stuff and be harsh like that and she refuses to apologize. She insulted him again, shd says that she felt really hurt when he hit her. She mentioned the police, she said that she doesnt want to involve them though. But she refuses to be at home when her grandpa would come and she says she wont talk to him anymore. Mabye she is just mad. I still dont know if I should punish her and how. She already feels bad about the whole situation and what she did, but she is sad. I can see that and I dont want that. I will continue talking to her about this, but I am just not sure if a punishment is really neccessery.
My daughter also doesnt want her mother to know about this. Should I respect that?
And no, my kid is not a brat and I dont do everything she asks for. We do what we both like, with talking and making a deal. Understanding eachother. I dont know why would you say that, when you dont even know her.
However, I appreciate your time and advices.
Mr. Cream Puff dad did nothing but "talk". She needs a consequence for Skyping semi-nude, but he isn't sure....
Mr. Cream Puff dad did nothing but "talk". She needs a consequence for Skyping semi-nude, but he isn't sure....
Quote:
Originally Posted by doz884
Uh, of course that I am worried about the skyping part as well, that is my main concern. But I was supposed to deal with it, not him. Hitting a child, let alone a girl, who is in her teens... Thats just a big no-no.
I dont think that she is trying to fool me, because she is honest and nice kid. When she does something, she is not lying about it. And she is a real young lady, so I dont know why she thought that going on camera like that is fine.
I went in her room today, hugged her and asked her to talk. We were talking about the issues and she understands that what she did was wrong. About the disrespect part, she said that her grandpa had no right to tell her stuff and be harsh like that and she refuses to apologize. She insulted him again, shd says that she felt really hurt when he hit her. She mentioned the police, she said that she doesnt want to involve them though. But she refuses to be at home when her grandpa would come and she says she wont talk to him anymore. Mabye she is just mad.
I still dont know if I should punish her and how. She already feels bad about the whole situation and what she did, but she is sad. I can see that and I dont want that. I will continue talking to her about this, but I am just not sure if a punishment is really neccessery.
My daughter also doesnt want her mother to know about this. Should I respect that?
And no, my kid is not a brat and I dont do everything she asks for. We do what we both like, with talking and making a deal. Understanding eachother. I dont know why would you say that, when you dont even know her.
However, I appreciate your time and advices.
You are cherry picking. Dad is concerned about her online activity, but because Grandpa took it upon himself to play enforcer, he wonders if further punishment is necessary.
You are cherry picking. Dad is concerned about her online activity, but because Grandpa took it upon himself to play enforcer, he wonders if further punishment is necessary.
Oh, well. I think the thread speaks for itself.
Last edited by photobuff42; 03-07-2015 at 02:50 PM..
You need to talk with your father. DO NOT CALL THE POLICE on him like the person above stated. I come from a strict Caribbean family and even though i don't spank my son anyone in my family likely would if he mouthed off or did something wrong. I know that and he knows that. He always surprises me by behaving so well around them. He's never got a spanking and doesn't want one. You need to speak to him and explain why you don't hit your kids and firmly tell him not to do that ever again. He will most likely rant for a bit after explain that you do not parent that way and you are punishing her (taking away internet) . I got a spanking from my grandparents when I was 15 I was pissed but I eventually spoke to/ forgave them and was always respectful I would never mouth off to my grandfather. And no they did not apologize for hitting me so don't expect that. I think you may have bigger issue with her not getting along with mom and being rude to your grandparent. She should of just listen to her grandpa's lecture.
LOL American people different. But seriously what is disturbing to me is how he found her sitting in her bra. Did he come into her room unannounced? Was she sitting around in her underwear with adult men in the house? Both of them need talking to.
Since this is your house, you need to lay down some rules for both of them. Yes this IS America, but why should a 15 year old girl be on a webcam (?) in her underwear talking to boys? She needs something else to do away from the computer until she can use it properly. Some forced activities or volunteer work might be the ticket. But I know she may not do what you say...
As for the old man. If he came into a room unannounced. That has to stop. If he kept talking to your daughter while she was undressed. That has to stop. He can yell or punish or even smack her once she has had a chance to put clothes on.
Also this is not a big secret, but I'm sure things are hard because you are not married to the mom. You have to tell her what happened anyway. Don't make it seem like some sort of secret or things will just get weird. She will probably be angry at you, but just prepare yourself for that. As long as you have set the ground rules and taken care of the situation, you don't have anything to be afraid of.
My 17 year old daughter was just in bra, sitting on the computer and being on camera with a boy. I wasnt at home. When I entered the house, I heard yelling and went to her room, my father was lecturing her. I stepped in and told him that I will take care of the situation and told him to leave the room. Now, my father is that type of a guy who always was so traditional and old school, but its not an excuse for what he did. Anyway, he didnt listen to me and didnt leave her room when I asked him to do so, but he kept scolding her, so she mouthed off to him and disrespected him, then he took out his belt and hit her legs and slapped her cheek. I was shocked, but pushed my father out of the room and got back, trying to calm her down, but she just kept crying. Eventually she stopped but she was just laying in her room, didnt even want to eat or drink water and she usually loves eating with me.
Im out of mind, I am so mad at him, but I dont know what to do and how to solve this problem. He is not living with us, neither does her mother. She doesnt know what happend. Should I even tell her? Im the legal guardian of my daughter. I dont even know how to address the camera problem, should I even punish her after this? I dont support corporal punishment, I am at my wits end with my father. What should I do?
I have no issue with a disciplinary smack, but for the most part I believe in teaching and explaining.
If I was in that situation my dad would of had a fat lip or a black eye as soon as it went from verbal to physical. Verbal I woould tell him to stop. Nobody touches my kids. He could of come to you and told you what he saw and then you direct the disciplinary action. No way no how is anyone other than me touching my child. And I'm only going to hit if I feel it's warranted. Maybe when they are little. At 17 I expect them to have the ability to understand actions and consequences
Your daughter was wrong in talking back to the GP. But it's not his role to be the disciplinarian. He can stop her but that's where he relinquishes the authority to you. You deal out the punishment of the computer and talking back.
As for the camera thing simply explain to her that while she may have sexual desires, putting herself out on the web in video in such private type of circumstance is a bad idea. Not because she is exploring ( which at 17 I don't find it shocking. She is 17. You can't expect her to not have sexual feelings or explore. But I would make it clear that there can be dire consequences in the future. And sometimes things like this have a way of surfacing later and can be embarrassing. What if the boy posts the video or starts showing it to friends at school.) Let her think about the decision and the consequences of that decision.She has the capability of deductive reasoning.
I wouldn't call the pd, but would tell your dad if he touches your child again there will be legal consequences or at least a really good ass beating.
That's called assault, there are other ways to teach your children sex education (which masturbation is a much better option compared to sex).
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But seriously what is disturbing to me is how he found her sitting in her bra. Did he come into her room unannounced? Was she sitting around in her underwear with adult men in the house? Both of them need talking to. 
