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Why wait until the damage is done. The drugs come in through our borders, if we would do something about that at least some drug addition may be stopped before it even starts. It could save many lives in the future.
I don't know what the borders have to do with it, but you do make a good point about how we are chronically reactive to addiction, when we should be pro-active. More education, more support and more scientific study of who is at risk is a must. Waiting for someone to hit rock bottom is passive.
Very rarely do I believe the drug addiction is the problem, it's more often the symptom or coping mechanism. Take away the heroin replace it with alcohol, take away the alcohol replace it with sex, take away the sex replace it gambling and on and on it goes until you work on what's making you run toward these maladaptive coping skills.
As for 12 step programs and recovery in general. Yes the program has to be the right fit, however the first step is wanting to change. I know of very few success stories about people who weren't wanting to do the actual work.
Recovery from anything is hard, it takes serious commitment and will power and is a constant task. Look at celebrities who have all the money and access to the best treatment but many don't recover.
There is a reason for that. No one can give you recovery, you can sit in meeting after meeting, mental health treatment programs, rehab etc... But until the addict decides to chose recovery nothing will get better.
It's an internal process that no one but the addict can do.
Which is why it's so frustrating for family members, you can't fix them.
It's hard uncomfortable work and many don't have access to quality interventions or help and that's part of why relapse is so common.
As for AA and NA, they're not for everyone, obviously. But I've found that when you give up your addiction you have to cut some people out of your life. It's a huge social shift and the community of those programs is helpful to some people who need to rebuild their social lives and activity.
My husband now deceased battled cancer twice and had radiation for the first cancer, then years later it returned in a different form brought on by the radiation from the first cancer treatment. Now he battled the leukemia. He was prescribed numerous pain drugs yet he wouldn't take them as called for. He said if he didn't need them what's the point in popping them in. He lost his battle with the disease but never suffered through an addiction. I have always remembered and admired and loved him for his way of looking at things.When he passed away I had to discard bottles of meds he had never used.
I really sympathize with people who are addicted to pain meds. It is absolutely horrible to experience such pain and the choices available to you to find relief from the pain are limited. Hydrocodone is very addictive, yet for many who are suffering chronic, debilitating pain, it is the only thing that can give the person relief. I have severe osteoarthritis in both knees. There are some days when doing everyday things like walking, yard work, going up stairs brings me excruciating pain. Thankfully I do not take hydrocodone, but I do take a very strong NSAID that has some very strong side effects. I don't WANT to take the medicine, but when it comes down to either the med or the pain, the med wins.
I am also an addict. I'm being honest with myself. I am an insomniac, and addicted to sleeping drugs. I classify what I have as addiction because I can no longer go to sleep on my own without drug assistance. Quitting cold turkey scares me. I fear sleepless nights and performing poorly due to impaired sleep. So I continue taking the medicine until tolerance sets in and then I take another medicine. I never thought of myself as an addict because when people think of addicts, they think of down-on-their luck people like the OP. But those people are just one segment of the addict population. I can tell you that it's not a pleasant state to be in and I'm trying to fight my way out of it. Thankfully, my situation doesn't impair my ability to function or have a good life, but it's not good.
There appear to be quite a few folks excusing bad behavior on here. I myself live & work in a big city & see the results of addiction on a daily basis. Many of these people are dangerous. If you had to deal with them as much as I did, you would soon realize this.
It's very easy to sit behind a keyboard & type away how you sympathize with people like this & feel sorry for them. But, if you were the victim of a crime committed by one of them and/or had to deal with their bull%#@%$ on a daily basis, I'm sure that you would be singing a completely different tune.
Why did this thread devolve into a debate about the merits of 12-step programs? The OP asked a specific question. And it wasn't, "Are 12-step programs good?". It was, "How do you feel when an addict passes?".
I don't know what the borders have to do with it, but you do make a good point about how we are chronically reactive to addiction, when we should be pro-active. More education, more support and more scientific study of who is at risk is a must. Waiting for someone to hit rock bottom is passive.
You don't know what borders have to do with it? Simple, a lot of drugs come in through the borders.
Very rarely do I believe the drug addiction is the problem, it's more often the symptom or coping mechanism. Take away the heroin replace it with alcohol, take away the alcohol replace it with sex, take away the sex replace it gambling and on and on it goes until you work on what's making you run toward these maladaptive coping skills.
As for 12 step programs and recovery in general. Yes the program has to be the right fit, however the first step is wanting to change. I know of very few success stories about people who weren't wanting to do the actual work.
Recovery from anything is hard, it takes serious commitment and will power and is a constant task. Look at celebrities who have all the money and access to the best treatment but many don't recover.
There is a reason for that. No one can give you recovery, you can sit in meeting after meeting, mental health treatment programs, rehab etc... But until the addict decides to chose recovery nothing will get better.
It's an internal process that no one but the addict can do.
Which is why it's so frustrating for family members, you can't fix them.
It's hard uncomfortable work and many don't have access to quality interventions or help and that's part of why relapse is so common.
As for AA and NA, they're not for everyone, obviously. But I've found that when you give up your addiction you have to cut some people out of your life. It's a huge social shift and the community of those programs is helpful to some people who need to rebuild their social lives and activity.
Well written post WeHa. i agree very much with your statements. Those with addictions typically will switch one with another. I've seen this in a friend of mine. When I met him, he was a functioning alcoholic and was abusing painkillers. When him and his ex-fiancee split because of his drug use, he started using heroin and whatever else he could get his hands on. He lost everything in the process. It eventually landed him in prison for several years.
Since his release into freedom recently, he has made progress getting back on his feet by working etc. He chooses not to participate in any NA programs or meetings thinking it can be done on his own willpower. What concerns me is he has rekindled his relationship with his ex-fiancee who is a functioning alcoholic. The same woman he was with when his drug use started spiraling out of control.
She is a friend of my family so I see her occasionally. I had seen the both of them together and he was drinking then driving home. My fear is he may end up with a DUI that might put him back into prison. He's on parole for 2 years. Another fear of mine if they split again, he may have a relaspe
Complex issue. I think it's increasingly hard to live in a society that has so much income disparity, unemployment and violence.
I think it's too easy to access drugs and alcohol.
I think people are in pain -- and some turn to drugs.alcohol to dull the pain.
But I also think those who want to kick their addiction can do so.
Yes, it takes iron will power and a lot of support, but yes, it can be done. Thousands, if not millions, have done it. Look at all the former smokers.
The death of an addict? There, but for the grace of God go I.
I was a long-time tobacco smoker who quit almost 20 years ago. Took me as few tries, but I succeeded.
I wish every addict could do the same. Life is precious. And living addiction free is sweet.
With some exceptions, not all, most of the addicts I've known have had some sort of personal trauma. It might not be trauma to you or me, but to them, it was significant.
One of my best friends struggled with his orientation for many years. He had a lot of personal conflict and I think some of that manifested in his substance abuse.
Why did this thread devolve into a debate about the merits of 12-step programs? The OP asked a specific question. And it wasn't, "Are 12-step programs good?". It was, "How do you feel when an addict passes?".
You have been on City Data long enough to know the answer to this.
Feel free to unsubscribe.
Everyone has answered the OP's question several times.
IMO, the additional discussion is more interesting than, "I would feel sorry for them", or "I wouldn't care".
You honestly don't see how discussing the many facets of addiction aids in the discussion?
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