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Old 07-19-2018, 03:00 PM
 
Location: West of Louisiana, East of New Mexico
2,916 posts, read 3,009,209 times
Reputation: 7041

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jbgusa View Post
I recently became aware of an online rant by certain individual, who stated that he was between 15 and 18 years old. The person presented himself as a high school student. He described himself as living in “Loserville,” a town adjacent to “Craktown” and stated that he was only interested in “getting money fast” and “school (is) not (his) interest.” He also described that he and his friends were into activities that were “very not right.”

This post or essay from this young man seemed intelligent. He stated that he was not a migrant or a member of any group subject to racial or ethnic discrimination.

This got me to thinking about problems such as teen pregnancies, dropping out of society, opioid abuse and bad behavior generally. These people are, in general, not going to grow into being providers. They are going to parent children who don't know their fathers, and may not even know their mothers, because of incarceration.

The question is how do we get people back to pride in their homes, schools and community? Single parenthood, unconventional relationships, and dropping out of school are the order of the day. What have we gained by "liberating" people from nuclear family-hood? And teaching children that there are no rules, no limits. Is the mental anguish this is causing eased only by opioids? Why are religious, educational or community leaders taking an interest? Where are the pastors, teachers and small-town mayors?

While politically I am liberal, I feel that experimentation in lifestyles, gender identities and sexual promiscuity that has developed since the "Summer of (Free) Love" in Haight-Ashbury in 1967 has not ended well. Time to walk back from the experiment. Maybe "Ozzie and Harriet"and "Leave it to Beaver" were cornball but at at least the results are better than we have now.





The idea of "nuclear family-hood" (a very WASPy cultural trait) is part of the problem. Families were stronger when the definition of family was broad. If you look at African/Asian immigrants...cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc., are all an integral part of what we consider the family unit. Children show respect for their elders because the elders show respect for everyone including themselves.

The youth are a reflection of their parents, so any issues with young Americans will need to start with Boomers, Gen X and older Millenials (I was born in '86, and know people with children about to graduate high school

 
Old 07-19-2018, 06:40 PM
 
6,844 posts, read 3,976,332 times
Reputation: 15859
Parents don't necessarily shape children in their image. If anything the kids grow up to be the opposite. My Gen X children were more influenced by friends than by teachers or parents. They still are. You don't actually realize this until your kids are in their 40's with kids of their own. Listen to a bunch of 60 and 70 year olds talk about their kids and they all tell the same story. Whatever the culture creates is much stronger than what a parent can influence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgn2013 View Post
The idea of "nuclear family-hood" (a very WASPy cultural trait) is part of the problem. Families were stronger when the definition of family was broad. If you look at African/Asian immigrants...cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc., are all an integral part of what we consider the family unit. Children show respect for their elders because the elders show respect for everyone including themselves. Every generation creates their own history, and very few kids think their parents have the answers.

The youth are a reflection of their parents, so any issues with young Americans will need to start with Boomers, Gen X and older Millenials (I was born in '86, and know people with children about to graduate high school
 
Old 07-19-2018, 07:17 PM
 
643 posts, read 331,254 times
Reputation: 1329
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
Parents don't necessarily shape children in their image. If anything the kids grow up to be the opposite. My Gen X children were more influenced by friends than by teachers or parents. They still are. You don't actually realize this until your kids are in their 40's with kids of their own. Listen to a bunch of 60 and 70 year olds talk about their kids and they all tell the same story. Whatever the culture creates is much stronger than what a parent can influence.
i doubt that.

In my working years, whenever there was a total arrogant jerk among us, someone who knew him would say........." If you think he is bad, you should have known his dad."

Many families of arrogant jerks can be observed in 3 living generations and grandpa would be the worst.
 
Old 07-19-2018, 07:32 PM
 
Location: New York Area
35,262 posts, read 17,166,428 times
Reputation: 30418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
What do you expect? Children are sequestered behind chain link fences and denied adult contact. The majority of teenagers are sociopaths. It's why we charge them as juveniles in crimes. When their primary social development comes from other teenagers, they internalize sociopathy as normal.

Maybe he'll grow out of it. Kids do. Or maybe he won't.
I don't think this kid was imprisoned. I will not tell you how I became aware of this rant because I don't want my or his anonymity blown.

The problem is that the upbringings, such as they are, resemble Lord of the Flies or the Broadway show Oliver with little constructive adult input.
 
Old 07-19-2018, 07:35 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,166 posts, read 4,638,396 times
Reputation: 10650
In terms of the geography dilemma the OP mentions, in many ways rural, disadvantaged places similar to those mentioned have become like a new Jim Crow by segregating the advantaged and disadvantaged young people, along with the opportunities they are around, and the environment that they absorb.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Actually, teens are having less sex, drinking less and doing fewer drugs than they did in previous decades, from what I've been reading. But you're going to see the worst examples splashed all over the news and social media.
Yes, and in the 1950's teen birth rate was actually almost double what is currently. However, at that time it was also much rarer for the births that occurred in that age group to come from unwed mothers. Biology hasn't drastically changed but the social judgment of a married teen now is much more negative than it was in the 1950's. The social judgement of an unwed pregnant teen was much harsher then because she was pregnant and unwed rather than simply for her being pregnant and married at a younger age. Here's a good source for data on birth rates and unwed mother rates:

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr49/nvsr49_10.pdf

In some ways, societal norms at that time (whether that was really the best option or not) were more closely matched with biology. More recently, the concept of adolescence has not only been invented but dragged out way beyond an age that it was considered to be decades ago.

However, I do think there has been a great loss in people being way too casual about marriage and divorce and bouncing from mate to mate when someone becomes a parent. They are supposed to be putting their kids first but they would rather play house and fool around with a different dirtbag guy every week rather than give their kids some stability, even if that means being a single parent instead of bringing home different losers. Eventually there are going to be consequences in how their kids act out to living in this situation and they're not going to be good for society.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
But why stop at the 1950's?

Why not go back to when Women really knew their place and stayed in it.

If they didn't, they would be clubbed on the head and dragged into the cave by their hair.
That's an unhealthy attitude for men or women to have towards the opposite sex, however, in many cases, this is now the reverse. Much of the modern radical feminist movement wants men to "know their place and stay in it" and be clubbed on the head and dragged into the cave by their hair by the radical feminists!

Last edited by Jowel; 07-19-2018 at 08:17 PM..
 
Old 07-19-2018, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
15,293 posts, read 17,725,931 times
Reputation: 25236
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbgusa View Post
I don't think this kid was imprisoned. I will not tell you how I became aware of this rant because I don't want my or his anonymity blown.

The problem is that the upbringings, such as they are, resemble Lord of the Flies or the Broadway show Oliver with little constructive adult input.
If he attended public schools, he was imprisoned behind a chain link fence, and only allowed adult contact through organized activities. That is a classic Lord Of The Flies plot - children getting their social instruction from other children. It's how we educate children in the US nowadays.
 
Old 07-20-2018, 01:03 AM
 
6,438 posts, read 6,937,497 times
Reputation: 8743
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
Ummm...you're confused. I'm female.

It was males who were asking me if I wanted to "go to bed" with them.

Hope this now makes sense to you.
Oh, OK. Sure.
 
Old 07-20-2018, 05:36 AM
 
Location: New York Area
35,262 posts, read 17,166,428 times
Reputation: 30418
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgn2013 View Post
The idea of "nuclear family-hood" (a very WASPy cultural trait) is part of the problem. Families were stronger when the definition of family was broad. If you look at African/Asian immigrants...cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc., are all an integral part of what we consider the family unit. Children show respect for their elders because the elders show respect for everyone including themselves.

The youth are a reflection of their parents, so any issues with young Americans will need to start with Boomers, Gen X and older Millenials (I was born in '86, and know people with children about to graduate high school
I am definitely not a WASP; I am Jewish. Extended families as you describe properly are not without structure. Mothers who bounce from dirtbag to dirtbag are.
 
Old 07-20-2018, 08:00 AM
 
378 posts, read 230,877 times
Reputation: 968
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jowel View Post
However, I do think there has been a great loss in people being way too casual about marriage and divorce and bouncing from mate to mate when someone becomes a parent. They are supposed to be putting their kids first but they would rather play house and fool around with a different dirtbag guy every week rather than give their kids some stability, even if that means being a single parent instead of bringing home different losers. Eventually there are going to be consequences in how their kids act out to living in this situation and they're not going to be good for society.
Seems to me marriage is a failing institution since divorce became a legitimate option for people. Perhaps if we revoked that maybe people would think long and hard before getting hitched (or never get married at all).
 
Old 07-20-2018, 08:06 AM
 
Location: NY in body, Mayberry in spirit.
2,709 posts, read 2,288,307 times
Reputation: 6441
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
Parents don't necessarily shape children in their image. If anything the kids grow up to be the opposite. My Gen X children were more influenced by friends than by teachers or parents. They still are. You don't actually realize this until your kids are in their 40's with kids of their own. Listen to a bunch of 60 and 70 year olds talk about their kids and they all tell the same story. Whatever the culture creates is much stronger than what a parent can influence.
[quote=Melchisedec;52547355]i doubt that.

In my working years, whenever there was a total arrogant jerk among us, someone who knew him would say........." If you think he is bad, you should have known his dad."

Many families of arrogant jerks can be observed in 3 living generations and grandpa would be the worst.[/QUOTE

Your opinions are not mutually exclusive. I know many good people who shake their heads at the way their kids turned out, saying that ‘Billy was not brought up that way’. I also know of kids whose bad behavior clearly reflects the way they were raised.

Hopefully, most people grow from ‘dumb kid acting out’ to responsible, productive adult. Sometimes, ‘stupid’ just lasts to the grave.
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