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Short answer,yes.The people you see near Wal-Mart with the "need help have family",I used to think they were con men , swindlers or just lazy .But now being dangerously close to being in the same position I don't think that anymore,they are just people in a bad spot,just like me,only probably worse.
I know the general advice is not to give to panhandlers, they just use if for drugs, etc, but about a week ago a lady asked me for $3, she said she needed bus fare, couldn't get to her job. I gave her a $5, saw her go to MCD, get a small bag, probably a $1 burger, then got on the bus. She obviously didn't have any left over for drugs! Was I conned? I doubt it!
Don't think the current economy has shifted my kindness level one way or the other. Having worked my way through school doing what most would consider menial jobs (and glad to get them!), I've tried, through my life to be gentle and kind with those now holding similar jobs.
Some people were so nice to me when I waitressed and others seemed to use me as their personal venting punching bag...
I learned to appreciate the small acts of random kindness and smiles...sometimes more than the tip, it was the warm interchange between simpatico humans that made my shift a good one.
Guess these earlier experiences have made me a generous tipper now--especially for personable waiters and waitresses. And I learned that sometimes service can be less than stellar if the staff is short that night--or the chef/cook turned up with a huge hang-over--or didn't show up at all. Often, it's not the server's fault for slow service.
Welcome to the club Marylee. My life is not recession proof, but my attitude and treatment of others hasn't changed. I learned a very long time ago that I was special...just like everyone else.
Welcome to the club Marylee. My life is not recession proof, but my attitude and treatment of others hasn't changed. I learned a very long time ago that I was special...just like everyone else.
My attitude has not changed, but my attitude is the opposite of yours.....I am not "special" no more than anyone else! Maybe that is what you meant?
The way I treat others has not changed. I have always believed in courtesy. I am shocked at the cashiers in one of the grocery stores that I shop at, that cannot crack a smile , or say "thank you"! I am wondering if it is the store policy?
I would not shop there, but the pharmacy that I prefer is in that store, and there is also some of their merchandise that I like better than the similar items in the other stores in the area.
As a person who has had the opportunity to mature with age and experience, I have learned at least one thing. Of all the things I have to do during the course of a day, by far the easiest of them to accomplish is being nice to people.
I know the general advice is not to give to panhandlers, they just use if for drugs, etc, but about a week ago a lady asked me for $3, she said she needed bus fare, couldn't get to her job. I gave her a $5, saw her go to MCD, get a small bag, probably a $1 burger, then got on the bus. She obviously didn't have any left over for drugs! Was I conned? I doubt it!
I think the most important thing is for us to listen to our hearts and remain compassionate. I'm not trying to bring religion into the discussion....but will use one of my favorite verses "But for the grace of God, there go I."
It could be me out there one day desperately needing some bus fare to make it until payday. Or being hungry. Or any other number of things that can be helped with a few bucks and a kind word.
So what if a few people take advantage? It isn't worth missing the truly needy person because of fear of giving to the wrong person.
I've just learned getting all bent out of shape over poor/slow service isn't worth it. BTW, I wasn't a ***** before, just see things differently now. I certainly don't take being treated like dirt from wait people, etc, but just don't go back there again. Why should they ruin my night? Last night we went out to eat, service was somewhat slow, then they brought me something that wasn't even close to my order, the old me would have complained loud and long, want to see manager, want compensation, such as free appetizer, hey, new me, just so grateful to even be in a spot to be able to eat out again, ate it with a smile. (actually it was very good, I enjoyed).
I took one look at the poor waitress, old me would have seen her as there to serve a perfect meal, make my night, new me, sees her as perhaps a single mom, working two jobs, perhaps half dead on her feet, perhaps as stressed as we used to be over bills, new me, smiled, thanked her for great service, left a 15% tip (ok, if the service was better would have left 20%), but don't ruin someone's job because your behind wasn't kissed just right!
My attitude has not changed, but my attitude is the opposite of yours.....I am not "special" no more than anyone else! Maybe that is what you meant?
The way I treat others has not changed. I have always believed in courtesy. I am shocked at the cashiers in one of the grocery stores that I shop at, that cannot crack a smile , or say "thank you"! I am wondering if it is the store policy?
I would not shop there, but the pharmacy that I prefer is in that store, and there is also some of their merchandise that I like better than the similar items in the other stores in the area.
I think what she meant when she said she's "special" is that we're all "special" in that we're all human beings deserving of respect. I worked my way through college washing dishes, I was a princess washing dishes, that's the respect I gave myself.
I don't go around making complaints against people or treating them as if they're beneath me, my jobs have never been that great either. But I am surprised that as scarce as jobs are, people who have a job would be rude to customers.
I don't go around making complaints against people or treating them as if they're beneath me, my jobs have never been that great either. But I am surprised that as scarce as jobs are, people who have a job would be rude to customers.
I think some employees are just like that, regardless of the economy, some appreciate the job,some don't. I feel its ot up to me to help them lose their job, they will manage all on their own, and I don't get my blood pressure up complaining. I don't take any type of crap, I still will complain if indicated, but my definition of justifible complaints has changed over the years. I still get p'od at rude service, just my threshold for making an issue out of it has gone way up.
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