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I don't know if this belongs on this board, but my best guess.
We've both been laid off for almost a year, gone through savings, retirement, took part-time survival jobs, somehow made ends meet. We both recently got employment, for which we are grateful. This recession has really taught us the value of a dollar!
But I find I treat my fellow man somewhat better. I used to be somewhat demanding of those in retail, waitpersons, etc, always quick to complain if I felt wronged, demand to see the manager, etc. Well, now I realize that's just some other poor slob trying to earn a living. My complaints might get someone fired.
Nowdays, even if I get lousey service or rude treatment, I just suck it up and go on. You don't know what struggles the other guy is going through, so he didn't bring your refill of iced tea just when you wanted it, is it worth ruining a guy's income for? Last week we went out to a rather pricey restaurant (well, pricey for us, we just eat at buffets if we go out, this was a special occassion). the waiter was not the greatest, we did get irritated, didn't complain, but the manager came by, asked if everything was ok, in the past I would have given a list of complaints, instead, i just smiled and said everything's great. he looked pleased, perhaps that college-age kid kept his job, or at least I didn't ruin it for him.
And I've learned to be polite to telemarketers, after working for a few months in a call center. That's one of the highest stress jobs there is. Now when I get calls, I realize what the other guy is going through, you don't have to buy what they are selling, but realize they didn't decide to call you, its an atomated dialer and the call was thrown at them. I just say I'm not interested, but thanks for calling, please take me off your call list, have a nice day. A little kindness doesn't kill me, don't be flat out mean to someone helpless to defend themselves, such as call center people, wait people, sales clerks, etc.
So, now I've walked in some other shoes that don't fit so good. I think I'm a better person for it.
I don't know that I would say the recession has caused me to take pause and be a little more patient with people, I would tend to say that our life situations in general have caused this in me. And I welcome it.
We never know what trials another person is facing, the burdens they carry or the issues that keep them awake at night. Every one has a story as they say, and unfortunately they aren't all wine and roses. Just like you, before I would be quick to raise my voice to the telemarketer or sigh loudly at the young boy bagging my groceries at the grocery store crushing my bread and while I will still speak my peace if at a restaurant and I am receiving poor service my patience with that has grown tremendously.
While I have always adored the elderly, I am finding that I yield to them even more and take in more of what they have to offer. The wisdom that they offer astounds me !
Whether this is enhanced in me by the recession, life experience or just age in general, it is all good.
Personally, the recession has not affected me at all. It has never been very difficult for me to arrange my life to be recession-proof. The anecdotes offered by previous posters indicate that they have only recently arrived at attitudes that have been, for most of my life, de rigeur.
Its not that I put up with or tolerate bad service, I just handle it a bit differently, not as quick to make major complaints. For example, at a recent restaurant, I just told the waiter that so far, we were not too happy with the level of service, could he try a bit more to make our experience pleasant? it worked, I can see in the past I would have complained to the manager, perhaps gotten a free appetizer, satisfaction I was heard, and perhaps that guy would have lost his job. Jobs are a rare commodity today, easy to lose, hard to obtain, I know that from experience.
I look more closely at those "invisible" people around me, the cashiers and sackers at krogers, the greeters and sales people at Walmart, it could have been me or my husband. Take awaw the Walmart badge, they're just people working, perhaps desperate for income. My goal is not to add to anyones' misery.
Cashiers, sales clerks...any job that involves dealing with the general public I tend to be extremely understanding with people in those areas, because I AM one, and know what its like.
Cashier doesnt greet me? I dont mind. I get sick of talking to people eventually during the day and asking "How are you, etc" when really I dont care. They're tired, their legs/feet are probably aching, and likely theyve worked a long shift.
Waiter/waitress isnt smiling and perky? Doesnt get my drink order in 2 seconds? Big deal. They've had to wait on people all day and put up with crap for very little pay.
Telemarketers...I simply dont answer. Thats what Caller ID is for.
I don't know if this belongs on this board, but my best guess.
We've both been laid off for almost a year, gone through savings, retirement, took part-time survival jobs, somehow made ends meet. We both recently got employment, for which we are grateful. This recession has really taught us the value of a dollar!
But I find I treat my fellow man somewhat better. I used to be somewhat demanding of those in retail, waitpersons, etc, always quick to complain if I felt wronged, demand to see the manager, etc. Well, now I realize that's just some other poor slob trying to earn a living. My complaints might get someone fired.
Nowdays, even if I get lousey service or rude treatment, I just suck it up and go on. You don't know what struggles the other guy is going through, so he didn't bring your refill of iced tea just when you wanted it, is it worth ruining a guy's income for? Last week we went out to a rather pricey restaurant (well, pricey for us, we just eat at buffets if we go out, this was a special occassion). the waiter was not the greatest, we did get irritated, didn't complain, but the manager came by, asked if everything was ok, in the past I would have given a list of complaints, instead, i just smiled and said everything's great. he looked pleased, perhaps that college-age kid kept his job, or at least I didn't ruin it for him.
And I've learned to be polite to telemarketers, after working for a few months in a call center. That's one of the highest stress jobs there is. Now when I get calls, I realize what the other guy is going through, you don't have to buy what they are selling, but realize they didn't decide to call you, its an atomated dialer and the call was thrown at them. I just say I'm not interested, but thanks for calling, please take me off your call list, have a nice day. A little kindness doesn't kill me, don't be flat out mean to someone helpless to defend themselves, such as call center people, wait people, sales clerks, etc.
So, now I've walked in some other shoes that don't fit so good. I think I'm a better person for it.
Welcome to the world of open-minded empathetic human beings. Not everything that happens to you is BECAUSE of you. The concept of empathy is a novel one indeed. Not everyone is as privileged as others; in terms of their economic situation, or their level of education. Hopefully when you return to your more economically comfortable way of life you will continue to espouse your new found outlook. Kudos to you! Not everyone knows how to look for the positive when life throws us a curve ball.....
Welcome to the world of open-minded empathetic human beings. Not everything that happens to you is BECAUSE of you. The concept of empathy is a novel one indeed. Not everyone is as privileged as others; in terms of their economic situation, or their level of education. Hopefully when you return to your more economically comfortable way of life you will continue to espouse your new found outlook. Kudos to you! Not everyone knows how to look for the positive when life throws us a curve ball.....
Exactly, my point! I never was "cold-hearted" or uncaring, I just now see some situations in a different light, that guy sacking my groceries at Kroger could be a laid-off engineer who's job was outsourced, his unemployment has run out, took that job to keep his mortgage current, trying to feed his family........you just don't know. So he squished my bread, so what? Don't run to the manager with complaints for the sake of venting, you never know what the other guy is going through.
This may not be an appropriate answer to your question...but I see so many more crabby, rude, shoppers, than I ever saw before! I have wondered if this is due to the economy.
But on the flip side, I have also seem some kindnesses towards me, that I have not experienced before, but I chalk them up to some people's compassion towards the elderly.
Short answer,yes.The people you see near Wal-Mart with the "need help have family",I used to think they were con men , swindlers or just lazy .But now being dangerously close to being in the same position I don't think that anymore,they are just people in a bad spot,just like me,only probably worse.
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