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I am really having a bad time, lots of crying jags today about my Mom. I had thought I was over that part. I had been feeling a lot better. But I went to a memorial Mass Fri. night for All Souls Day at the church where her funeral was held. Each year, they have a Mass for All Souls Day, and specifically in memory of those whose funerals were held at the church. So my Mom was included. They did a ceremony where they called out each name and lit a candle behind the holy card of the deceased person. I cried...a lot. I didn't expect to get that emotional, and maybe that's what has set me off again. I didn't cry at her actual funeral Mass, because I was so caught up in making sure the funeral was perfect. Now, nine months later is the first time I've been in that church since the funeral, and all the emotions that I did not display at the funeral welled up in me.
Anyway, talking about the "hat incident" above, it reminds me of when my Mom was in a coma and dying in the hospital. I was at her bedside for six days (she had a massive brain injury and was totally unresponsive during that time). I left the hospital one evening to go get something, and as I was walking back in, an elderly woman was coming out. She had gray hair, glasses, and a cane. For a minute, my face brightened as I thought, "Mom!"....and then I remembered -- she's upstairs, dying.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread....I'm just so upset that I'm back in "grief mode" again....I knew you guys would understand.
I was the other way tngirl, I about came unglued the first time I heard my wife's message. I unpluged the machine and haven't touched it since. Different strokes for different folks. Probably need to take the batteries out before they corrode.
Glad to see you faired the storm friend Tami!
Bluff, yes, we talked about that when we were discussing what to do with the phone. I know I would have a complete meltdown if I heard my Mom's voice again. I'm just a mess....I miss her so much. Now is the time of year when I'd be planning my trip to FL with her "grand-dogs" to see her for the holidays...
I agree sometimes it is something you may notice but not consider it is a sign. A friend's husband passed away the first of Jan. The one thing he loved was daffodils. The day after his funeral there was a daffodil blooming in their yard.
Now this was the only one blooming and it was in dead of winter here.
I also had a turtle show up in my garage right after my DH passed away. He had COPD and would joke around that a turtle could beat him in a race. I had never seen a turtle around our house, we were not near any water either.
[quote=Bluff_Dweller;26822816]I was the other way tngirl, I about came unglued the first time I heard my wife's message. I unpluged the machine and haven't touched it since. Different strokes for different folks. Probably need to take the batteries out before they corrode.
Bluff Dweller, thanks for the tip about taking the batteries out, I hadn't thought of that. In fact, I had just bought a new battery for it.
I see you live in one of the most beautiful places on earth....the Ozarks. We had taken a vacation years ago and went to Branson and fished there. Wonderful vacation and really God's country. You're a lucky guy.
[quote=tngirl205;26804156]I have read with some "envy" of all the accounts of being visited by your loved one in dreams. I have not had that occur yet. I have heard a song that evoked memories, saw a pickup exactly like his today, but nothing yet in my dreams. Maybe someday.....
tngirl205...those things sound like signs to me. I believe sometimes it's the simple things that we don't even realize.
I was the other way tngirl, I about came unglued the first time I heard my wife's message. I unpluged the machine and haven't touched it since. Different strokes for different folks. Probably need to take the batteries out before they corrode.
Bluff Dweller, thanks for the tip about taking the batteries out, I hadn't thought of that. In fact, I had just bought a new battery for it.
I see you live in one of the most beautiful places on earth....the Ozarks. We had taken a vacation years ago and went to Branson and fished there. Wonderful vacation and really God's country. You're a lucky guy.
Thank you for the kind words about our area. I feel lucky to be living here but also like many, have had our difficult times as well. The good Lord has definately blessed me by giving me my soul mate. I will forever be indebted for my good fortune.
Glad that you enjoyed your visit especially from one who also lives in a beautiful state. My wifes ancestors are buried in Seiver Co., Tenn. We wanted to make a genealogy trip back there. Won't happen now.
I appreciate hearing your advice about keeping my wifes message on the answering machine. Now I am wondering if the batteries go dead, the message will dissapear? Seems she was always having to put the message on every time we lost power. Hmmm.
A very strange thing happened last night....3/4 of the way to my other house, I realized I had forgotten a stocking cap to use when walking my dog, Mickey. I told myself I would just use one of Earl's ratty old hats he used to wear. Around the 3rd time Mick wanted to go out, I had been looking at one of the bookcases off and on while I was reading my book. I went over the bookcase and there on the 2nd shelf was a brand new BJ's cap!!!! (Last job he had.) Now I've been in and out of that house about a half dozen times since Earl died and I've also cleaned a lot of stuff off that bookcase, including the 2nd shelf.
My logical side says it's just coincidence(sp?). The hurting side of me chooses to see it as a sign. When I was still driving and remebered, I had asked him aloud if he had anything other than an old, ratty hat. I couldn't stop looking at that bookcase last night. Was it because I WANTED a hat for the night? Why was it on a shelf in a bookcase? WHY hadn't I seen it before when I was cleaning it??
Strange, very strange. I cried of course but they were bittersweet tears, not tears of total pain. I felt very physically connected to him in those moments. I felt a warm glow about me.
BTW, I had to go down to the house because I found another stove to replace the one that got smooshed and it was being delivered between the hours of 9-1 today and I sure did not want to caught up in the rush hour traffic. I did that enough for 16 years. Good thing I went, they were there at 9 on the dot and they didn't drop it!!! I bought the first one from Lowe's and I bought this one from Home Depot just so I wouldn't get the same delivery company!
I lost my mom last month and friends have told me to expect a visitation. So far, I don't think I've had one. I just have her picture up and I talk to her everyday as if she's still here. It is comforting. I feel like she is around me. It has been such a stressful time since she passed and caring for my dad who isn't well. I asked her to watch out for us and keep us safe. I hope she visits soon. I miss her.
I lost my mom last month and friends have told me to expect a visitation. So far, I don't think I've had one. I just have her picture up and I talk to her everyday as if she's still here. It is comforting. I feel like she is around me. It has been such a stressful time since she passed and caring for my dad who isn't well. I asked her to watch out for us and keep us safe. I hope she visits soon. I miss her.
so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it's a very difficult time for you. You'll feel the loss forever but the grief subsides to some degree.
Be patient and don't force the signs. Just pay attention from here on out.
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(Last job he had.) Now I've been in and out of that house about a half dozen times since Earl died and I've also cleaned a lot of stuff off that bookcase, including the 2nd shelf. 
