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phonelady...Thanks for posting and sharing your experiences...I'm glad things turned out so well for you over time...Packing (for the move) has been hard at times. Since I'm the last one left (in the family) I have "stuff" here from both my sons and even my first husband...My younger son took care of his dad when he had cancer and lived with him so I "inherited" my first husband's possessions too...Plus I have all of my "last" husband's records. (School records, military records and awards, etc.)...It's hard to make decisions about what to do with everything...And since I'm still in the "day-by-day" mode everything seems overwhelming!...I sure don't feel "all-together" or competent right now. But I keep trying to get a better "grip."
Amen to the decision- making statement. I've heard so many say just not having the person with whom one trusted the most to talk about decisions has been the hardest for many survivors.
I've moved too and have ALWAYS disliked the experience. I do miss not only things I had in my house but things I had to leave behind. Mostly I miss opening a drawer and only seeing my things or less nothing that belonged to my closest friend. I don't want to unpack my china or dishes. I prefer paper plates and plastic silverware etc. currently. I know I don't want to unpack my nice things as I don't want this residence to be where I am the rest of my life. By leaving things boxed up ( as much as possible) I won't have to pack them again.
Hi Jude...Sorry you had rain over the 4th but good that your granddaughter spent the night with you...I only have a few local friends and nobody wanted to do anything on the 4th...We've been having high heat (here) in the desert. (Up to 126 degrees!) So the heat made people stay in...We always celebrated my husband's birthday on the 4th. I cried for awhile...Hope you can find some new interests and friends. Me too!
CA..it is so difficult when a birthday of a loved one who has passed is on or near a holiday. A good cry helps.
I will wish you some rain, if you will do the same with some sunshine.
Mtn. States...Thanks for your post. Where would you like to live next?...Later on I might move to Kansas to be near my cousin. She sent me a sympathy card and sweet note when my Dad died in 1999 and we've been close-close friends ever since...I don't have any family left (at all) out here in the West. But I do have my cousin and other relatives in Kansas...I took a break from packing today because I was so tired and stressed-out. Called my cousin and we talked for hours. She really lifted my spirits...And she always perks-up when I talk about moving close to her. But she is never (ever) "pushy!" YEA!...It is hard to deal with life and make decisions when we're used to being married. I know I can always "run things by" my cousin. (And vica-versa.)
Jude...I'm trying to send you some sunshine! And I'll settle for a little "cloud cover" to cool our temps down a bit. Thanks!...Too bad we don't live closer so we could have a 4th of July (weekend) barbeque!
Jude...I'm trying to send you some sunshine! And I'll settle for a little "cloud cover" to cool our temps down a bit. Thanks!...Too bad we don't live closer so we could have a 4th of July (weekend) barbeque!
Yes, you and Jude could have a barbeque, possibly without a fire even. LOL
Just because we don't post much CA, doesn't mean we are uncaring, I moniter your progress as many other are.
Here in Missouri the temp is in the mid 80's and my AC quit last night. I will wait for Monday to call and get on the repair list as I don't wish to pay holiday prices. Next week is predicted in the mid 90's so I am anxious to get it repaired. Always something.
My daughter called a friend of hers and cleaned my wifes clothes from the main closet. After my daughter returned to her home in the BVI I found two more closeta with her more dress up clothes. It has only been 5 1/2 years so there shouldn't be any rush on my part to get some boxes and box them up, is there?
Usual (((HUGS))) to you and the other posters!
Bluff
Bluff...Thanks for caring. Sorry your air-conditioner went out. Hope it's not too hot in your house...My Dad kept my Mom's clothes in the closet until it was his time to join her...He never considered dating. And I think it brought him comfort to keep my Mom's things around...He never stopped saying "we." But he did his best to live an independent life and was very self-reliant. Sounds like you are too.
Bluff...Thanks for caring. Sorry your air-conditioner went out. Hope it's not too hot in your house...My Dad kept my Mom's clothes in the closet until it was his time to join her...He never considered dating. And I think it brought him comfort to keep my Mom's things around...He never stopped saying "we." But he did his best to live an independent life and was very self-reliant. Sounds like you are too.
Yes CA....as you posted I am reinventing myself. The first two years my wife passed time was moving so fast I really never had time to grieve. When I started reading CD posts I realized the various levels I worked through. Yep, been there done that. So yes I am becoming self-reliant as you seem to as well. I have just begun to say "I".
(((HUGS))) Bluff
Last edited by Bluff_Dweller; 07-07-2013 at 06:36 AM..
Reason: Forgot the hugs
More rain coming today through Wednesday. I was going to use the grill last night for salmon, but the downpour kept it from happening. Watched and old Jack Lemon move last night "How to Murder Your Wife". He was quite a character. I need to get out to do something today.
Yesterday I went shopping and on the way out, I saw an older beagle at the end of the street just standing there. When I returned about two hours later, she was still there, and I know it had poured during that time. Had nice clothes on but I hoisted up 20 pounds of her (big girl) and got her home with me. No tags, so I drove around a couple of neighborhoods but no one was looking for her. I hated to call the humane society, but it had to be done. She kept me company for about an hour. I hope her owners track her down. What made me the saddest is the fact that she was out there roaming for a couple of hours, and no other person stopped to get her. That street is well traveled and she was lucky she was not hit. I guess we had something in common...old gal ignored by passersby....LOL.
Mtn. States...Thanks for your post. Where would you like to live next?...Later on I might move to Kansas to be near my cousin. She sent me a sympathy card and sweet note when my Dad died in 1999 and we've been close-close friends ever since...I don't have any family left (at all) out here in the West. But I do have my cousin and other relatives in Kansas...I took a break from packing today because I was so tired and stressed-out. Called my cousin and we talked for hours. She really lifted my spirits...And she always perks-up when I talk about moving close to her. But she is never (ever) "pushy!" YEA!...It is hard to deal with life and make decisions when we're used to being married. I know I can always "run things by" my cousin. (And vica-versa.)
CArizona,
First, I'm glad you took a break from packing. That's always a plus in my book
Secondly, I'm glad you have become close to your cousin. I do understand with your sons, husbands and parents you are the only one left. However, the fact you have a cousin you've become so much closer to you still have family.
I'm much closer to my friends than family. Even when people aren't bio relatives they often are like family.
Finally, where would I like to live next? I know but there are some factors beyond my control that won't allow me to make that move currently. Hopefully, someday..... To also answer your question a different way, I want to move to where I was the happiest. Is it possible to have the same level of happiness back in that area? I don't know for sure but my inner self says yes.
Isn't it truly a gift to have someone in your life you can run things by who listens and isn't pushy?
I feel like a lot of folks are sharing thoughts and feelings in this thread that aren't shared elsewhere. Thank you to everyone
MSR
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