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I always said I would probably remarry if something happened to my wife. She has been undergoing treatment for lung cancer for several years. While she is doing well, the worries, scheduling, the what all's associated with the whole event made me realize she is the only one I could do this for. I could not nor want to do this again. Thus I have changed my mind about remarriage. I would not remarry.
I am reposting as someone repped me on my original post.
Since the post, my wife died from the lung cancer. While she was never in pain nor sick, she need assistance to do most anything. Even she was depressed about needing such. She passed peacefully and quietly 11/22/15.
All in all the last year with her strengthened my resolve to never remarry nor even have a live in friend. What I did for my wife I lovingly and willingly did. I could not do that for another person thus I will not put myself in a position to ever have to.
I encourage each person to find their own path. One's path does not need to be the same as mine. Do what makes you happy.
PS
I do have a "young lady friend" and we get together once a week or every 10 days for dinner, drinks, and a roll in the hay. Have a lunch "date" with her today......LOL
Almost ten years into solo widower-hood, I wear my ring and I'm quite content. My marriage was 31 years of a wonderful loving friendship and I don't expect to ever see anything come close to that. Remarriage is out of the question. I've moved 1000 miles, fully retired, and reinvented my life and it would be hard for me to add another person or expect another person to be deeply part of it.
That being said, I would enjoy the company of an equally independent female friend in a casual "keeping company" sort of relationship. Dinner once in a while, coffee, movie or concert on occasion, talk, exchanging opinions. With that in mind, I made the mistake of signing up with an online match site. Yikes. Respondent expectations were much beyond what I had in mind. I won't go into details but I backed out as quickly as I could. That would certainly be a way to find a spouse but not at all what I was looking for. Nevertheless, the experience confirmed the life choice I made those years ago.
At first I was lost without my husband but time has healed a lot, at least for me. I miss the friendship we had more than anything. After being widowed almost 6 1/2 years ago at 55 years old what you posted and I bolded above is what I am looking for also. I don't want to remarry or even live with another man. But it would be nice to have some male company once in awhile for what you described. I also tried some dating sites but just gave up. I haven't been on a date in 4 years now and I suspect I will be alone the rest of my life.
I am reposting as someone repped me on my original post.
Since the post, my wife died from the lung cancer. While she was never in pain nor sick, she need assistance to do most anything. Even she was depressed about needing such. She passed peacefully and quietly 11/22/15.
All in all the last year with her strengthened my resolve to never remarry nor even have a live in friend. What I did for my wife I lovingly and willingly did. I could not do that for another person thus I will not put myself in a position to ever have to.
I encourage each person to find their own path. One's path does not need to be the same as mine. Do what makes you happy.
PS
I do have a "young lady friend" and we get together once a week or every 10 days for dinner, drinks, and a roll in the hay. Have a lunch "date" with her today......LOL
I am sorry for your loss john.
Does your young lady friend pressure you into more than the dinner, drinks and a roll in the hay? Most people don't understand me when I tell them I don't want a "relationship", just a male companion occasionally, I could take or leave the roll in the hay part....
Does your young lady friend pressure you into more than the dinner, drinks and a roll in the hay? Most people don't understand me when I tell them I don't want a "relationship", just a male companion occasionally, I could take or leave the roll in the hay part....
For me without the roll in the hay part I do not need female companionship per se. Not that I would be against such a relationship, but it is not something I look for. If something like that came my way, I would try it out.
I think you misunderstand my question: does the woman you are seeing mind being in a relationship where it's just lunch, dinner and a "roll in the hay". Is she pressuring you to have more than this? I found most men my age (62) want something more permanent which I definitely do not want.
I think you misunderstand my question: does the woman you are seeing mind being in a relationship where it's just lunch, dinner and a "roll in the hay". Is she pressuring you to have more than this? I found most men my age (62) want something more permanent which I definitely do not want.
No she does not pressure me into anything more than more of the same. If she did, I would end it. She is much, much younger (74/34) than me and realizes it would not work on an any other basis. She likes the time away from her "real life" and we are exploring her "new found sexual desires" so it is very exciting for us both, especially her. She has found some "interesting" things online........LOL
My deceased wife was ill and toward the end she needed constant care. While I loved her and miss her dearly, she is the only person I would do for what I did for her. I never want to be in a position to have to do such again which is why a FWB works just fine for me.
Wow! Good for you. My hubby was 20 years older and there is something to be said for experience. :-)
Our age difference is stacked against any long term relationship but that is fine because I am not looking for a long term nor a full time relationship. What we have works for the both of us for now.
Ill be honest here.... Id be devastated to think my partner would start to date women three months after Id died, , thats still raw for most people. surely far too soon to want to start up a new social lifestyle with a partner.. however were all different, myself at 69 , no chance would I even try to enter into another relationship.. I feel its scraping the barrel at my age, or for whoever Id be seeing.. Ive had my life.. and have family, my wee dog and my computer.. that ll do me . Also I wouldnt ever want to step into another womans shoes or be in her house.. but thats just me, each to their own.
I agree completely with dizzybint. I was devastated by my husband's loss, and the idea of taking a "roll in the hay" with someone just over two months later is beyond my imagination.
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