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I'm on the "off" day today from my ADD medication and my appetite has seemed to pick up or maybe I just decided it was going to! Ha! The man who purchased the transmission parts came a took 3 truck loads and there is lots more still--paid for that and will be back for more but looks like heavy rain tomorrow so maybe not tomorrow. Even though I didn't get the amount of money I'd have liked at least things are moving and I will have some money in my savings to fall back on for emergencies. I feel so much more at ease just having things in motion. Sure it hurts to see my DH's things going but it hurts seeing them sit here too. So I am still moving forward--at a snails pace I guess but at least I'm moving forward for the most part anyhow!
Cyn, any kind of step forward is good but don't fret if you slip and end up taking a step backward. That happens too. None of us are perfect. You're doing the best you can and in my opinion, that's all you can do. One day or one hour or one minute at a time.
Those men came and took another 20 or so boxes (these are wood boxes that weigh up to a ton or more each). I am so worried there is still some of our personal things in a few of the boxes and they got mixed in but this guys seems honest and said he's bring back anything that doesn't belong there. I will trust him at his word. At least now I have the week to go through some of the boxes I can get to , move things around, clean things and organize and get my building looking more the way I'd like it. Help would be a plus but don't see that happening.....sigh...who knows though. At least now we can see the progress being made and that seems to help my anxiety. I guess it has been a lot more then I'd imagined on my mind. Now to get someone to buy my big priced items on ebay--my Franklin Mint items. I have the prices silly low but no hits....guess everyone is tight financially. And when Big Lots offers ornaments for a few dollars that look so much like the vintage ones I have except my ornaments are quality and made with pride in different countries--and are old and my price cannot compete with China.
I am concerned about my electricity going out this winter--suppose to be a bad cold winter they say so I have been researching those propane indoor heaters for emergencies. They have one called Big Buddy that sounds like it would do the job for me here. They are pretty costly but I feel with being here alone it is a necessity. Hauling that generator in from the shop would not be an easy task if I could even do it. I'm sure a neighbor would help but it would be nice not to have to ask and just have something set up ahead of time. Seriously thinking this one over. I spent hours listing online today to see if maybe I'd get lucky and have some good sales and then I'll go buy one. That will make me feel good! If not I'm sure we will be fine. Been living here for almost 8 years now and made it! It's been raining all day but I still went to church and really enjoyed it. Was invited by a group of people to join them for lunch but I had to get home because those guys were coming over to get the transmission parts. I really would have loved to go to lunch but another time once this is over and this is going to take a few weekends it appears.
Well part of the boxes are gone. Had an interesting talk with my therapist this morning.....she said she senses that I feel a loss with selling my DH's transmission parts. I do. She is wise beyond her years. A lot of love, knowledge and care went into each and every single part in those boxes...losing my DH is not only a big loss to me but to the world in my opinion. There are very few people like him anymore.
Now my therapist must fly back to her country as her father is failing and she needs to be with her mother. So I hope I can find another therapist as nice and good and this one has been. Ebay is having problems so I have been on hold all day hoping they fix their problem. Sure can't afford it right now. I did go to Lowes and purchase a propane heater to give me a little more security....every little bit helps. I deserve that!
Well part of the boxes are gone. Had an interesting talk with my therapist this morning.....she said she senses that I feel a loss with selling my DH's transmission parts. I do. She is wise beyond her years. A lot of love, knowledge and care went into each and every single part in those boxes...losing my DH is not only a big loss to me but to the world in my opinion. There are very few people like him anymore.
Now my therapist must fly back to her country as her father is failing and she needs to be with her mother. So I hope I can find another therapist as nice and good and this one has been. Ebay is having problems so I have been on hold all day hoping they fix their problem. Sure can't afford it right now. I did go to Lowes and purchase a propane heater to give me a little more security....every little bit helps. I deserve that!
Hi cyn I have to agree you are doing well with your process on the barn & your grieving so don't be fretting when you cry. Sorry your counselor had to leave I pray you do find one to replace her that you are comfortable with.
It is great you are getting rid of DH's car parts, you can't use them might as well have them in the hands of others that can. Plus you make a little money, not what you'd like to have made, yet more than if it remained sitting in the barn.
Now I want you to remember about sold items or personal items mistakenly put into those crates.............................. there are no storage units in heaven. We can't take any earthly possessions with us and what we've been given here comes from God anyway. We don't really "own it" but we are the keepers of the "stuff". Once I wrapped my head around that concept it was easier for me to part with things and so much less stressful worrying about it all.
Are you going some place for Thanksgiving? If so enjoy as much as you can this first holiday season will be the hardest but you'll get through it. Might be tattered, puffy eyed and weary but you'll get through it honey.
You got that right Jaxson--I'm sure I won't be a beauty at Thanksgiving but I will be there! And I am finally understanding what you are saying about parting with personal "stuff". Today I called Hospice and offered one of my most beloved Christmas decorations. It is a beautiful had painted ceramic Santa holding a candle holder in one hand and a cookie plate in the other. He stands nearly 39" tall. He was shipped in one of the wood boxes by himself with a ton of bubble wrap protecting him. I brought him in the house today and called Hospice to see if they would enjoy him moving in with them! They were thrilled. I couldn't make enough money on ebay or ship him safely and get the feeling like I can by giving back to those who have been here for me and my DH---that is so much more worth any amount of money! That made me feel good. Since ebay has been messed up and everyone is having trouble selling I found that many of my items are no longer up there--nice! Probably why they aren't selling. So I have spent the entire morning doing inventory and I have made very little progress---lots to go through. Plus I guess I deleted the pictures because I'd already listed the items and now I must take all new pictures--and it's cloudy--so pictures don"t well on cloudy days even with a flash.
I already do have another therapist set up and my regular therapist will be back in a few months too so hopefully things will be okay. It's hard to get comfortable with a therapist to begin with so it may take a bit of time.
Time to take a quick shower to perk me up so I can continue figuring out how to get pictures taken and list my items again! UGH!
I am spending Thanksgiving with my son and his family. Looking forward to seeing them all. Miss my grand daughters so much!
Had a bit of a surprise today...I knew my DH's ashes were being sent to me but they said in a few weeks--so I was kind of preparing myself if you can really do that...but today when I went to the Post Office he was there in a small heavy box. I wasn't sure how to feel or act....I brought him home and placed him under my side of the bed--at least for now. It's a strange feeling............
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We can't take any earthly possessions with us and what we've been given here comes from God anyway. We don't really "own it" but we are the keepers of the "stuff". 
Once I wrapped my head around that concept it was easier for me to part with things and so much less stressful worrying about it all.