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Elko:
Since this isnt Home Home on the range.....I am going to say a discouraging word...........It makes me mad that your grown son moves in with you at this most inoppurtune time and brings an unneutered cat that hasnt had even a preliminary vet exam and first shots. You dont need the expense or aggrivation.
I will butt out and mind my own business now....but if I didnt say something.....I was going to have to avoid reading your posts.
No, elston, I get it. I was not totally thrilled with this. At all. I have kicked him outta our house twice before and a third time, if necessary, will come, if he doesn't move out first. No we don't need his stress. It came down to him burning all of his Arizona lifelines and bridges and having a cat, car and himself left, burning in that Arizona sun. Especially Mrs. elkotronics couldn't handle it, so we caved.
I will have to get harsh if I don't see results from him. Nothing but the truth. I do see where you're coming from, elston. Totally.
I came to delete my message but was too late. I am sorry for my words and sorry for the situation you and Mrs E are in. I am not saying I would handle it any better or wiser.
I have taken in a son who was on a series of loosing decisions and drinking and drugs......and it didnt work all tht well for us............ I am happy to report that now after several decades he is making it and has held a good job for at least one of those decades or more.....and finished his education....in fact salvaged the degree he walked away from just before graduation....and has the BA degree and got an associates degree in graphic arts and is now a printer and designer.
I still wish he took better care of himself and made better health decisons.....but he is a good son and I love him.
Thanks and I am truly happy to hear of your son's success. My own record of school and work is far from flawless. I think of our Creator and his wonderful quality of forgiveness and realize that I did what I did knowing that life can be so hard sometimes. Not easy answers all the time.
But, you're right elston. It adds stress! I'm not offended or bothered by your post, either, elston. No offense taken.
Elkotronics I can understand being between a rock and hard place with your son. Everyone deserves another chance, although it seems you have given him quite a few. Being an animal lover it's difficult not to provide care for his cat. Sadly he can't take care of himself and adds an innocent animal to the pie.
I went to Grief Group and found it comforting. Some of the people are still grieving heavily after a few years. I know I will never stop grieving and missing DH and I hope I don't become clinically depressed like some of the people I met today. Interestingly, my neighbor, who is 86 went with me just to have something to do and ended up sharing his grief and became emotional.
I wouldn't have bothered getting a new car, DH's wish, spoken a couple of weeks before he passed, was to give the CRV to our grand daughter, so that's what I did. It's a good, safe car and hopefully will last her through college. I'm still trying to figure out the new car! I was able to add speed dial numbers to the phone function and program the garage door opener. One day at a time.
OMG, elko! I haven't come to this thread for awhile, but I just read about your situation with your son...wow. I grew up in the desert...so living in your car in the summer in the desert...not possible. I'm surprised the cat did not die. I'm a mom, I understand Mrs. elko. They are always your babies, no matter what. I wish you luck, friend.
Also, what has happened to Dude111?
Sorry to hijack...just concerned.
Fireworks crazy here, too. I used to love them...now not so much. Thought it would be safer "in the sticks"...haha joke's on me!
Last edited by MarciaMarshaMarcia; 07-05-2017 at 05:06 PM..
Elkotronics I can understand being between a rock and hard place with your son. Everyone deserves another chance, although it seems you have given him quite a few. Being an animal lover it's difficult not to provide care for his cat. Sadly he can't take care of himself and adds an innocent animal to the pie.
I went to Grief Group and found it comforting. Some of the people are still grieving heavily after a few years. I know I will never stop grieving and missing DH and I hope I don't become clinically depressed like some of the people I met today. Interestingly, my neighbor, who is 86 went with me just to have something to do and ended up sharing his grief and became emotional.
I wouldn't have bothered getting a new car, DH's wish, spoken a couple of weeks before he passed, was to give the CRV to our grand daughter, so that's what I did. It's a good, safe car and hopefully will last her through college. I'm still trying to figure out the new car! I was able to add speed dial numbers to the phone function and program the garage door opener. One day at a time.
I found my local grief group sort of depressing. Ten weeks I think, but I couldn't finish. Several people really wanted to talk. That was good. I added what I was able to and asked questions. Some never said a word. One guy was very angry and shouted often. He'd lost his wife and both children over a period about 5 years.
Sometimes you just have to move on and say weird things to people who know nothing about your family jokes or what you're talking about.
Busy busy here. I'm think there are a lot of good posts here and it's always good to see several sides to each subject!
For me personally I found the grief groups in this area helpful. I think it was more about knowing I wasn't alone in my grief and what I was going through was pretty normal. I did not go back after I went through the initial meetings because I also felt it was depressing. Hospice here has several get togethers for widows/widowers especially on the holidays but I felt it was not helping me to move forward. I am not trying to forget my late hubby but I also feel moving forward is very important.
Not looking forward to work today since my arm hurts so badly but maybe it won't be so bad once I get going! Last ight was hard and I am not sure why my arm seems to get continually worse and the bruise is getting better??!! Guess I'll find out tomorrow since that is when I see the doctor. I pray it will be an easy fix! Just knowing what is wrong will help I am sure!
Elko, keeping you and your wife in my prayers!
Ellwood, always thinking of you!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!
Busy busy here. I'm think there are a lot of good posts here and it's always good to see several sides to each subject!
For me personally I found the grief groups in this area helpful. I think it was more about knowing I wasn't alone in my grief and what I was going through was pretty normal. I did not go back after I went through the initial meetings because I also felt it was depressing. Hospice here has several get togethers for widows/widowers especially on the holidays but I felt it was not helping me to move forward. I am not trying to forget my late hubby but I also feel moving forward is very important.
Not looking forward to work today since my arm hurts so badly but maybe it won't be so bad once I get going! Last ight was hard and I am not sure why my arm seems to get continually worse and the bruise is getting better??!! Guess I'll find out tomorrow since that is when I see the doctor. I pray it will be an easy fix! Just knowing what is wrong will help I am sure!
Elko, keeping you and your wife in my prayers!
Ellwood, always thinking of you!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!
I agree with you cyn.....its not about getting over your loss; it is about getting on with your life.
I agree with you cyn.....its not about getting over your loss; it is about getting on with your life.
Well put, elston. Thanks cyn about keeping the Mrs. and I in your thoughts and prayers. We could use the help! Tomorrow is Bible Convention Day One! We missed Friday last week and made both weekend days. Our home Congregation goes to Independence, MO, this Friday through Sunday for the Convention. They just keep getting better and better and more faith-strengthening every year.
I agree with you cyn.....its not about getting over your loss; it is about getting on with your life.
elston you just gave me a HUGE light bulb moment with this comment. Having experienced grief like this in 1970 I found over the years a widow never gets over the loss even after finding another love. More so as soon as a widow or widower just gets on with her life. The sooner this can happen the sooner a semblance of healing happens and life is more bearable. This in no way means they are to forget or get over the loss. The loss happened none of us can erase it.
Knowing this from before this time around I went directly into healing mode. I had been reading and delving into healing my psoriasis that for 3 1/2 years was making it almost impossible to walk and I had to wear cotton gloves 24/7 or I would leave blood on everything I touched. Hands and feet the worst and then knees and elbows and here and there. In this research for my healing I came up with how dangerous stress is for us. It also magnifies pain. I listened to a lot of healing music using the solfeggio frequencies and other healing music. Finally lowering the stress I was under even though I was still handling the caretaker role for my hubby.
Now I know how to some what control the stress. How far I can push myself before I actually go over the edge. I am honestly feeling the grief but I refuse to let it consume me knowing if I did I would be miserable the rest of my life. I know my late hubby would not want this. He always wanted me to be as happy as I could be. Even though he always told me he did not promise me a rose garden.
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